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Author Topic: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]  (Read 671 times)

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Offline nephero

I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« on: October 18, 2017, 03:07:36 pm »
This was not something you handled well on an hour of sleep.

Yavul rubbed at his face, pinched the crooked bridge of his nose, and fought to take deep breaths. Losing his shit in the Pilot Chat had been a mistake. The com gently buzzing to his right was more than enough evidence of that.

What had he even expected? What had he even hoped to accomplish? It'd stopped the fighting, at least temporarily, but the second the screen of his com lit up with a notification reading Pilot Royal Grisham Alberich he knew the temporary cease fire had not been nearly worth it enough.

Because dodging questions was also not something you handled well on an hour of sleep. Especially not questions after your well being. Especially not questions after your well being from someone who could read you like a one word billboard, even from thousands of miles away.

Maybe he thought it'd be fine, just this once, to not have to keep it together. But the gods of luck had never liked him nearly that well, and so with a sigh he opened his com to face he music.

You all right, what's the matter, just one of those days?

Yep, uh-huh, sure is. Not entirely convincing, probably, all things considered, but what the hell else was he going to say?

Well, hey, no, you see, everything all just kinda feels a bit like taking hammers to the chest? Oh well!! lol lol lol lol.

Fuck if he didn't need a stiff drink. He'd meant to have one, sometime last night. Never quite panned out that way, but then again a lot of things hadn't panned out the way he'd wanted.

So something else then?

Haaaaaah! If he weren't already frayed more than… fuck, too tired to spit out a proper idiom. Something properly bumpkin-y.

Yavul couldn't tell if he should be annoyed or relieved, then, when there was a knock at his office door. Relieved is what he decided on, and he set the com down to the side with a sigh. Gods of luck pissing in his cola aside, it did give him some time to get a handle on things. One problem at a time.

“Entree vous.” he said, loudly as he could muster and with all the rasp of someone who would likely not appreciate having to repeat himself in any capacity.

Marakai2.0

  • Guest
Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2017, 03:45:27 pm »
Well, at least he wasn't alone. He thought, at first, that he'd have rather gone by himself - as Assistant Squad Leader, he was more than ready to take responsibility for the whole fiasco on the Pilot Chat. Innocent or otherwise, those were his licks to take.

But Nishi wanted to go along, and take her share of the blame, take responsibility for what she was involved in. Raz could understand, and he admired it.

After some time, the Kitsuni and the albino found themselves before Yavul's office door. Before he raised his fist to knock, he glanced at Nishi nervously.

Since joining the Squad, he'd always tried to do his best, fighting his wild tendencies, and even found himself, at some points, to be a voice of reason of all things. He'd tried his best to keep his nose clean, stay golden.

Mistakes were made, naturally - nobody was perfect, and least of all him. But he tried. And that imperfection was shown, now, as he showed some of that humility to his Squad member.

"Well...here goes nothing, right?"

He sighed, and raised his fist to knock on the door. Nearly immediately after, his knock was answered, loudly and clearly.

"Entree vous."

Raz closed his eyes for a moment, before he opened the door and opened the door.

"Umm...Boss- ImeanCommander, we...that is...." he stammered.

Man up, you stupid fool. That voice, steeling his nerves was his own, as he tried to convince himself it wasn't the end of the world or some other silly thing.

When he spoke again, his words were clear and strong, a bit more grit backing his nerves.

"Sir, we've come to discuss what happened today. With your permission, of course."

Offline GoblinFae

Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2017, 04:08:28 pm »
She had really done it this time. Seeing her commander's name flashing at the bottom of the screen for so long only made her stomach sink into her boots. Nishi knew she was in trouble long before Yavul's words flashed across the screen. It did not matter that Sparrow had provoked her or that she was trying to defend her new friend and squadmate. She had way overstepped her bounds and had even teased the Hellion to this point. The Kitsuni felt she had no other choice than to own up to her mistakes and properly apologize.

Razican had nothing to do with it and yet he was taking it so hard. Nishi followed a half step behind all the way there until they stood before the door and shared a brief moment of solidarity. She squared her shoulders, knowing what she had to do even as her ears pressed flat against her skull and her tail dragged lifelessly behind her.

"It was my fault, sir," she spoke up, taking a step forward once her Assistant Squad Leader was done speaking. "I take full responsibility for my actions. Pilot Eleria had nothing to do with my poor behavior." Nishi swallowed thickly with the realization that she likely had just gotten herself into more trouble by not waiting to speak. She just could not stand to let someone get in trouble for her mistakes though.

Offline nephero

Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2017, 04:45:17 pm »
He should've known this was coming. Really, he should have. And yet he hadn't been expecting it so quickly; but there they were, Raz and Nishi both, each of them looking like they'd be sent out into the bush to find a switch.

Yavul took a breath and leaned back in his chair. He'd been about to respond to Raz, when the tiny Kitsuni had stepped forward, all flat ears and droopy tailed and Yavul was pretty sure if she had a hat she'd be wringing the thing in her hands.

It took him a solid moment to catch up with what the hell was happening, the electrical impulses jumping neurons and sputtering out here and there. Oh, right. Right. This had been in the midst of Sparrow getting into it with them.

Resisting the urge to pinch at his nose again, Yavul gestured at the empty chairs set before his desk, with the silent command for them both to have a seat.

“Your solidarity is commendable. But it ain't that simple.” Looked like Grisham would have to wait a bit longer for him to get back to their conversation. This had ‘doozy’ written all over it.

“The bulk a’ my ire ain't yours to shoulder, an’ I ain't about to let either a’ you give it a try. What I am is concerned.”

Yavul took a moment to pause here, gathering his thoughts, sparse and fizzling as those were.

“Razican, part of being in a leadership position is knowing when it better suits the team to defuse a situation, or to defend your own. I know you came at the conflict with your squadmates in mind, and I'm pleased to see you bein’ so protective. But you know from past experiences that Pilot Anderson is not… one to react to such things well.”

Unconsciously, Yavul's head turned to the side, popping the tension in his neck as his annoyance bubbled to the surface for a split second. Nope. Not now.

“Part a’ what we do as a team is usin’ our heads an’ changin’ up what don't work into somethin’ that do. If I can't trust you to adapt in a Network based social settin’, then that leaves me worried about what'll happen when there are genuine lives on th’ line.”

He looked back and forth between them, feeling several times his age. They were both still so young. Raz had been solo combat operations, of course, and Nishi had more than her fair share of promise. But there were only so many things you could learn from simulations, from a book, from hypotheticals. The real weight of a thing only ever hit you in the moment, and never a minute before.

“I don't want you to come outta this thinkin’ you’ve done total wrong. You ain't. But one of these days those slimy Edani sons a’ bitches are gonna do what they do best an’ we're gonna have to take ‘em back to task for it.

“An’ I need y’all to consider how well your current behavior is gonna work when you've got people you don't get on with beside you, and people who wanna kill you comin’ at you. Valkyries choose who lives an’ who dies. Make sure your choice is a good one.”

Yavul let that sink in, all while he rose from his seat and crossed the office, grabbing three glasses and a bottle of water (where the liquor he'd been keeping went, he had no idea, but was not nearly so concerned with that now). He set two of the glasses down for the young Pilots to take, swallowing down his own along with some painkillers for the headache that simply refused to leave.

And, all things considered, probably wouldn't until well past "closing time".

Marakai2.0

  • Guest
Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2017, 05:16:19 pm »
Oh, shit. Even though Yavul's voice didn't carry a tone of anger, Razican could just feel the disappointment. After the Boss finished speaking, Raz just stood there, his fists clenched and pulled tight against his thighs.

Raz knew he had alot to learn when it came to leadership, but Yavul's words were the hammer that drove the stake home. True, he knew that this was supposed to be something he could learn from, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. But this also didn't mean that he had nothing to say.

He had a stance, an ideal, driven home both by his time in the ATC, and as a Pilot. Even further driven by his time in the Valkyries. And he would defend it.

"With all due respect, Sir...."

This already sounded like he was about to argue, and inwardly he winced - that was not the case, and he dearly hoped Yavul wouldn't see it as such.

"....I don't see just the Valkyries as my family. Each and every Pilot in Aedolis could call me 'brother,' and I wouldn't bat an eye. When push comes to shove, I'm not gonna shove back. I know who the enemy is. When the time comes, I know who I'm pointing my rifle at."

He sighed a bit, and continued. "I don't want to sound as if I disagree with you when I say this. But just know that each and every Pilot - regardless of who they are or whether or not I'm friends with them - can count on me to lay my life down for them. We're more than Squads, or even Pilot's. We're Brothers and Sisters in arms."

After this, he lowered his gaze to the floor. His point was made, but he didn't feel any less bad for saying it. "But...you know that, and it would be foolish of me to think otherwise. I just want you to know...I'm aware of what's on the line, and I know who I'm fighting for."

Offline GoblinFae

Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2017, 06:08:43 pm »
Her gaze quietly bounced between the pair as they discussed a future that all prayed would not come but still was always a possibility.  She took her commander's word to heart, reflecting on how it was true, Sparrow was her sister-in-arms. Friendly rivalry and banter was one thing but hurling barbs was bound to leave scars and grudges. That was the last thing Nishi wanted. Her days at the ATC were so close behind her still and she recalled the faces of all the people she had trained and studied with, the friends she left behind that someday might become members of other squads just like she did. It made her feel sick with regret.

She accepted the glass from him, completely unable to look him in the face as her head hung low against her chest. So far only Razican had received the brunt of the lecture but there was no doubt in the young Kitsuni's mind that hers was coming next. She had let them all down, her commander, her squad, her fiance. Nishi could only imagine what the second lecture would be like. One thing at a time though.

Her voice was soft and trembled slightly as she spoke. At the ATC, the biggest thing she had gotten in trouble for was not catching onto things fast enough. This offense was a whole different galaxy though. "No," she started, her small hands wringing the glass tightly within them. "The Commander is right. While you may know Pilot Eleria, I...I forgot my place and I got us all in trouble. And I'm so sorry," she whispered, as she fought back the urge to cry in shame. She was stronger than this. She could not just come to pieces at the first sign of reprimand. Nishi was a Valkyrie and it was high time she acted like it.

Offline nephero

Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2017, 08:52:24 pm »
Looking between both of them, it was more than clear that they had gotten the message. He didn't even need to be in their heads; their body language was more than enough. These were two Pilots who had well and truly learned their lesson, and actually learned it. None of the posturing, the wounded-puppy antics, none of the 'woe is me I've been blamed for everything' that so easily crawled under his skin and set every last nerve on fire.

Thank all the Gods of luck and fortune for that one, because it meant that A) he had chosen very, very well in his recruits. They might be new, they might not yet have the experience, but their hearts were in the right place and could still be gently guided where they needed to go. And B) He did not have to absolutely lose his shit all over again for the second time in one day.

He took a deep breath, letting it out in a little sigh once they'd both said their peace, and couldn't help the twitch at the corner of his mouth for it all. His personal life might be entirely in shambles, but at least he still had the assurance he wasn't complete shit at his job. That was something he still had going for him.

"I know both of you came at this out of a good place. You came into the fight for your friend. I'm never gonna be mad at anyone for that. Nishi, you're not in trouble, okay? I ain't gonna make none of y'all do anythin' humiliatin' for this. This wasn't you roughhousin' where someone could get hurt, this wasn't you causin' damage to the reputation a' the squad. This was you fightin' on your squadmate's behalf."

Yavul tapped at the side of his glass with his left hand, the rubber-lined edges of mechanical fingers making an odd ringing noise. He still needed to get used to that. He considered the Kitsuni for a moment, took another swig of water, and continued.

"But not everythin' needs fightin'. Let this be your first lesson in where an when t' bring the hammer down, an' how hard. You're still young, an' thankfully we're livin' in a time what's more forgivin' to us. Just understand that such things ain't permanent-- nothin' ever is. You gotta consider that it might not always be forgivin' times, and I won't be around forever t' help, much as I'd like to be.

"Y'all are both good kids. I'm glad you're understandin' what I'm tryin' to say. So, let's get back to what we should be doin'. Somethin' about a spider hunt this weekend. Y'all still fixin' to go to Havanah's Candidate's party?"

Offline GoblinFae

Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2017, 06:12:41 pm »
She was not in trouble? Nishi's right ear popped back up in surprise at the realization. She understood every word put to her and yet she still could not believe that she was not going to suffer a harsh punishment, or any one for that matter. "Yes sir, I understand. I will keep that in mind the next time I spout my mouth off. I'm not a a child anymore nor am I a Candidate. I will do better in the future to behave accordingly," she resolved with a final apologetic bow of her head.

When Yavul switched topics though, she could not help but blink several times in surprise. "Spider hunt? Really?! Can we?" Her face lit up in excitement as her tail began to curl and swish gently against the legs of her chair. Nishi was all but squirming in her chair like a child at Yule.

"I don't know about Razzi-eh Pilot Eleria but I'm hoping to go. I knew Matt in the ATC. He's an absolute sweetheart," Nishi commented cheerily, now at last appearing more relaxed and happy again. "Though I still have no idea what to dress up as. Are you going, sir?"

Marakai2.0

  • Guest
Re: I'm not mad, just disappointed. [Marak, Goblin]
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2017, 07:38:34 am »
Sapphire eyes blinked a couple times in confusion. Raz was supremely relieved that they weren't in trouble for anything, and put even more at ease by the fact Yavul understood. True, things could have been handled better - as they were reminded, gently - but the message was that what they had done wasn't wrong, per say, but simply wrong in its execution.

Raz sorely wished he'd brought a notebook or something with him - he had learned alot from Yavul thus far, and could stand to learn even more with time. As the big man spoke, the respect and admiration was clear on Razican's face.

He was doubly glad, then, when he put Nishi's fears at ease. The poor girl had initially looked scared to death, and to see that fear assuaged made him smile. Only once everything seemed to be in the all-clear did Raz finally take a drink.

The change in topic surprised him slightly, and he coughed gently when he accidebtly inhaled a bit of water. "Oh! Spider hunting. That's this weekend? Kick ass. And I'm totally going to Havvy's candidates party. You know me, if there's a party to be had, I am there. Uh, so long as you still don't need me for anything else."

 

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