Woe and Lamentation and....Origami (Rinachina!)

[Anonymous]

(I am SO gonna abuse that damn topic description box X3)

This was rare for her, to be honest...to be depressed, that was. Sure, she was in the same bad situation as everyone else...forced to become a Pilot due to her psychic power, which was naturally discovered in a less than savory way...wrenched away from everything she knew to be placed into a new, highly structured, and very brutal new life.
She was in the same boat as almost all the other Candidates here, right?
But that had never bothered her before...after all, it wasn't as though her original life was so great. She was pretty much a slave in that house, to that woman...this really wasn't so bad! She didn't have to wait for scraps of food. She had her own bed, not the floor. A nice room, not the hallway. New clothing, no hand-me-downs. It really wasn't that bad at all!
No...actually....th e part she missed was her adopted siblings. They weren't always that kind to her, but at least she had people to talk to, laugh with, people who would play games and carry on...

She was actually feeling extremely alone...isolated.
All she had was Jaxx, her mechanical seeing-eye dog. Shaped very much like a black-and-silver doberman, he was curled up under her chair, glowing eyes unblinking in his cold cranium.
Sighing heavily, she toyed with the pieces of paper laid out before her on the table. She was currently camped out in one of the libraries, not wanting to be cooped up in her room right now. She was supposed to be doing homework...and practicing her handwriting, hence the paper. See, being that she was blind, writing wasn't exactly her strong point. When she was linked up with Jaxx, she could see basic colors and shapes, including letters if they were written big enough. It might be a pointless endeavor, but she wanted to perfect the art of at least signing her own name.
Now though, she wasn't particularly motivated to do anything but fold the paper up. She didn't realize she was making a crane until she was halfway done with it. Oh that's right...Desmond and Tristan had showed her how to make basic origami, hehe. She'd practiced until she could do it without their help, the steps memorized, the feeling of the paper in her hands leading her along.
Well, at least it was something...and thinking of her old friends perked her up, if only a little.

[Anonymous]

Everything was getting so complicated. Finaa was starting to feel the stress of it all. Her psychic abilities were far below where they should have been and she was terrified that was going to get her TRIMed, or that Gabe would drop her. She was supposed to get some new tutor, but she had yet to start the lessons yet.

And she was starting to feel really guilty about Arrow. She was really liking the other girl and loved how fun it was just hanging out with her. But, well, how did she bring up that she was normally a Finaa. The longer the relationship went on, the harder it was.

Her thoughts just wouldn't stop and there was no one to really talk to about it. None of her guy friends really...got it. And it made Finaa feel so alone. So she was trying to seek solace in the library. See if the books and the calm silence would help.

Probably not, but maybe she could get some studying done.

Entering the library, it was hard to not notice the pale girl with the strange looking dog. And even Finaa's underdeveloped empathy could feel the lonely depression wafting from her. It made Finaa's heart go out to her. She knew that feeling all too well.

Taking a seat across from her, Finaa smiled brightly, unaware the girl was blind, "Hey. What's that you are doing there?" She had never seen folded paper like that before.

[Anonymous]

Jaxx tracked the stranger's approach, though Ellie continued to be completely unaware, wrapped up as she was in folding paper cranes out of what would have been her practice paper. It was not until the girl spoke that Ellie clued in with a start, her head snapping up.
"Oh! I, uh...um...th-this is called origami...um...you fold the paper into animals and things..."
Caught off guard, she managed to stammer her way through an explanation, though her pale pink eyes wandered unseeing around the room, unable to stay the girl sitting right before her. At least she had her head pointed in the right direction...the girl's voice gave her that much of a clue. Fidgeting, she finally pushed one of the paper cranes in what she hoped to be Finaa's general direction, managing a small smile.
"Y-You can have one if you want...um...I-I'm Ellie. Oh, and ah, this is Jaxx. Jaxx, you should say hello too..."
"Affirmative, miss Ellie."
The mechanical voice came from below Ellie's seated form, before abruptly the metal dog stood on it's hind legs to rest both front paws on the table, enabling it to 'see' Finaa with glowing eyes.
"Good day."
He did not speak by moving his jaw, rather the voice emanating from somewhere within his body, which was somewhat more eerie.

[Anonymous]

"Really? I've never heard of that before." Finaa tried to not stare at the girl's face, though, she supposed it didn't really matter as Ellie seemed blind. It was just a little unnerving the way her eyes moved around.

But the girl seemed nice and the paper looked pretty, "Is that a...bird?" The next was really long and that made Finaa a little unsure what it was. A swan maybe? "Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I'm Finaa! It's nice to meet you."

Before she could ask who Jaxx was, the dog suddenly appeared, causing Finaa to give a start, startled at it's sudden appearance, "Uh...good day....Jaxx?"

[Anonymous]

"Oh! Yes, it's a crane...it might not look much like a bird though, eheheh. I think I'm doing it right, but I can't really look and tell...sorry about that, I know my stare sometimes creeps people out..."
Yeah, she had caught that 'unnerving' vibe from the girl, being an empath herself and all. And she was always the most sensitive to a person's first impression of her, for whatever reason. Still, despite that vibe, it didn't seem like this girl was all that bothered otherwise.
"Nice to meet you Finaa! Don't worry, Jaxx won't hurt you. He's my seeing-eye dog!"
"Affirmative."

Fidgeting for a moment, Ellie isn't sure what to talk about. She was definitely of the shy sort, though she also craved companionship, which helped pull her out of her usual little ball of nerves.
"S-so...um...wh-what brings you to the library? Are you, um...going to study? I can...uh...I can go if you need peace and quiet..."
Never mind the fact this girl approached her first...she didn't want to be a hindrance to her if she was going to study.
All the while, Jaxx continued to stare with unblinking eyes at Finaa, metallic paws poised easily atop the table as he balanced on his hind legs. He was quite the feat of engineering, although the years hadn't been exactly kind to him - his silver and black metallic body had all the scratches, scuffs, and dings one would expect of the usual wear and tear.

[Anonymous]

"No no! It looks great! I just...uh...I don't know that many animals." Finaa flushed a little, not that Ellie could tell. She had seen the more common animals that lived in the city, but exotic ones? Finaa had never even seen those in a zoo. Some pictures in a book were the closest she came to wildlife.

Shaking her head, forgetting Ellie couldn't see, Finaa smiled, "Oh, no. I mean I was going to try, but, I can't really get my brain settled. Lots of stress you know." She had to admit, the dog was creepy. Finaa did her best to avoid looking at the mechanical creature. It was just...odd. But Ellie seemed nice and Finaa was starving from some simple contact, "How about you? Am I interrupting anything?"

[Anonymous]

"O-Oh, I see! I've um, never seen one either..eheh, obviously...but that's what Tristan told me it was so...ah, he's the one who taught me how to make them..." It seemed they were both exuding the same amount of 'awkward', which was somehow comforting to Ellie. At the very least, that made them a little bit similar...something she was desperately craving here. Even among these people who were 'different', she felt even more 'different'...like she might never fit in anywhere.

Ellie could feel the discomfort, and after a moment realized it was probably because of Jaxx. People tended to react to him that way quite often, and so she reached out and when her fingers grazed his cold metallic head, she gently gave it a push. That was all that was necessary for Jaxx to return to his post under her chair, no longer staring at Finaa with unblinking, dead eyes.
"Y-Yeah, it's pretty stressful here...I can feel it from everybody...oh! Y-You're not interrupting...I was going to try and practice writing but...I ended up making cranes instead, since it reminds me of old friends..." She left out the part about wanting to cheer herself up, not wanting her new acquaintance to pity her right off the bat. Besides, it seemed something was bothering Finaa already, without her own problems adding to it!

[Anonymous]

"You can write? Really?" She hadn't thought that someone who was blind could write. That seemed like a difficult task to master when one couldn't see. When the dog's head vanished back under the table, Finaa relaxed a little. The stare was just kinnda creepy.

The poor girl seemed rather timid and Finaa just wanted to reach out and hug her. The mommy in her wanted to reach out and fix everyone, "It can be really stressful, but it really isn't that bad. How are you holding up?"

[Anonymous]

"W-Well...I can sort of sign my name, but...th-that's it really, ehehe..." Normally it was Jaxx who took care of these things - he'd read documents out loud to her, and he would turn her spoken word into text for her as well. Some of his more basic functions, but they were essential all the same.
Blinking pink eyes, Ellie could sense the shift in Finaa and tilted her head a bit as the other girl spoke, not entirely sure what to make of the sudden nurturing aura.
"U-Um...I guess...o-okay? I mean...I-I have my own bed...and plenty of food...and new clothes...and schooling...s-so it's not all that bad..."
That of course wasn't mentioning the fact she was pretty much entirely isolated here, had no friends, and was a rather frequent target of bullying (unless that big guy Kuno was around...then nobody seemed to want to mess with her).

[Anonymous]

"Really? That is really impressive." Finaa was amazed, she didn't think she could have pulled that off. When she lacked eyesight, it was because she had replaced it with something that let her sense things differently. She was never helpless like that.

"Bullying?" She frowned, picking up on the girls thoughts, "Who is bullying you? We aren't having any of that!" Finaa would have a stern talking to whoever was picking on her. "Have you started taking defense classes yet?"

[Anonymous]

Not exactly used to receiving compliments, Ellie couldn't help the blush that easily showed beneath her pale skin, but she smiled a little all the same. Impressive? Really? Hehe, I don't know that anyone has ever used that term to describe something about me before...
The little blind girl jumped a little in surprise as Finaa mentioned the bullying. O-Oh that's right, they can read thoughts-! A little startled, she put her hands on either side of her head, as if trying to muffle the sound of her own thinking.
"I-It's nothing r-really..."
Well, it's not much worse than what she went through back home, at any rate.
"D-Defense classes...? N-No..."
She probably wouldn't be very good at them anyway. What can a tiny blind girl really do against all these other psychic kids? She didn't even have any real psychic abilities to speak of, other than her empathy, which worked best when she touched another person. Of course, there was that destructive side but...it had only ever happened a few times, and she was never in control of it...not to mention it was that ability that hurt her stepmother, and got her sent to a place like this to begin with.
She was less than eager to investigate the ability.

[Anonymous]

Oh, poor thing was just so fragile. It made Finaa's heart go out to her. Though, at the same time, came that fear. That the girl was far, far to timid to make it through the program. She would get eaten alive and then failed.

"Oh, well, you really might want to look into them. Being blind, it will, um, probably take you longer to pass them. And, well..." Finaa shifted, feeling a little bad about bringing it up, but the girl seemed so....weak, "You do, you know, have to pass them. So getting an early start is a good idea."

[Anonymous]

"Oh...I see..." She immediately felt a sickening feeling curl into her stomach at hearing that. She had to pass them? They were manditory? That...didn't exactly bode well...and from her understanding, unless she showed potential and progress, there was no chance of her getting any sort of eye replacement or surgery to help with her blindness. She still had to rely on Jaxx...but having to be linked to him by a cord made physical activity a little awkward to say the least. Oh! But there was still...
"Maybe Kuno can help me a little...he's strong, I'm sure he can give me a few tips..."
She rubbed the back of her neck, fingers falling across the metal ports she was so familiar with - the portal that allowed her to see with Jaxx's help. A little eager to get off the topic, she then realized that she wasn't the only one with problems of course.
"Oh, um...you seemed a little down too earlier..."
Her own empathic skills had told her as much.
"Is something the matter? I mean, if you don't mind talking to me about it...I don't mind listening! I'm pretty good at that, hehe."

[Anonymous]

Oh dear. The girl seemed so lost and confused, "Yeah. They are mandatory and all. We are training to be Pilots..." The psychic stuff was actually a pretty small part of it. Yes they had to have them and learn to use them, but they were also soldiers and leaders. Some of the highest ranking Pilots were not the best psychics.

Finaa smiled brightly, waving a hand, "Oh, just this and that. It's not a big deal." Mommy mode was on and Finaa shoved her issues deep down, focusing on the girl in front of her instead.

[Anonymous]

"R-Right..." Of course, to be Pilots...in all honesty, Ellie still wasn't entirely settled into this odd new life she was living. She'd never had a 'purpose' like this before - a goal to strive toward.
"Oh, if you're sure...b-but if you ever need someone to listen..."
She wouldn't push the issue of course, but Finaa was being kind enough to listen to her babble on about nothing so...she wanted to at least let it be known she'd do the same for Finaa! Still, it seemed getting off the topic of her own troubles seemed to be harder than she thought...especiall y with Finaa so focused on it. Maybe it would be best to just get it out...?

"I'm really scared."
It was abrupt, but it summed up everything weighing her down, and it didn't even matter that she didn't know Finaa that well. She was the first person to really just sit down and want to talk, to be friendly.
"I was sent here by my...by Aunt Ellen...because I accidentally lashed out and hurt her with my psychic ability. I still don't really...understand much about this place...other than it's full of a lot of cruel people. Some things are better, like having a bed and new clothes and lots of food...but other stuff hasn't changed at all. I still have to have Jaxx fully stocked with bandages, and I still go to sleep in pain because of all the bruises and cuts...and I'm still just as helpless to do anything about it as I was all my life growing up. I'm small and I'm weak and I know that and it seems like everyone else is determined to hurt me because of it!"
She wasn't aware of the tears running down her cheeks then, too wrapped up in the sudden outpouring of emotion.
"I...I don't want to be weak...I know that...that if I 'fail' in this place that I'll be sent someplace even worse...and I'm just so scared all the time...I'm terrified...but I don't know what to do to keep myself safe..."

[Anonymous]

"Oh. Baby." Finaa felt her heart go out to the girl. She understood that fear all to well. It was a painful, horrible thing and it seemed to be eating away at Ellie more than most. The waves of self-loathing and fear coming off the girl were intense.

And dangerous. That was a dangerous view to have here. It would get you crushed and destroyed.

"I'm so sorry." Finaa got up and moved across the table, hugging the girl, "It'll be okay. If there is any place you can change who you are, it's here. You'll get strong."

[Anonymous]

It didn't take much really. As soon as the other girl reached out to touch her, she was immediately in Finaa's arms. Pressing her face against her chest, she just sobbed quietly, a little surprised just how badly the tears had been needing to get out. It had been a long time since she'd cried this hard...
Hugging her sudden new confidant tightly, she sniffled and hiccuped here and there through her tears and words.
"I-I hope so...I want to be able to stand up for myself...I don't want to keep getting beat up and hurt!"
And more than anything...she didn't want to be this scared anymore...living in fear was really no way to live at all.
Sniffling again, she pulled back a little, rubbing at a teary pinkish-red eye.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm getting you all wet...I'm sorry...thank you..."

[Anonymous]

Finaa stroked the girls hair, making soft noises, "Sush. It's okay. You can cry all you need too. Don't even worry, okay?"

Sometimes all you needed was a good cry before you could put your spine into place. Finaa hoped this was the case with Ellie.

[Anonymous]

She couldn't seem to help herself, the tears just kept pouring out of her eyes. Especially at the kindness Finaa was showing her...when was the last time somebody had held her like this? Had stroked her hair and told her it would be okay? Years and years ago...when she was eight and Desmond was still alive...yes, he had been the last one to ever do something like this...
Suddenly overwhelmed with sadness from years past, she clung more to Finaa, her shoulders quivering with the intensity of it all. All this time! All these years! And not once had anybody shown her kindness! Looking back on it now, she couldn't fathom how she had survived, how she hadn't withered away under those conditions. A home without love, a family that despised you...
Shuddering, she suddenly laughed softly, but it was an odd, hollow sound.
"Maybe I really have no hope of surviving here...I'm too pathetic...seven years of being beaten and made the house-slave and I can't even bring myself to hate them...even if you showed that woman to me now and told me nothing bad would happen if I gave it all back to her, I still wouldn't be able to bring myself to hurt her..."

[Anonymous]

Uh...what? Finaa wasn't really sure what to say to that confession. House slave? Beaten? Gods but there were some horror stories out there. Finaa was used to the emotional damage being caused by this place. But she kept petting the girl, giving what comfort she could.

"No honey. It's okay. You are only pathetic if you give up. You'll get strong here, it's what you do. It'll be okay, really it will. If you put the effort in, you can change yourself. You don't have to be weak or afraid."