Is This Your Spoon?

[Anonymous]

Oliver stared glumly at the tray of cafeteria food with his elbows on the table and his hands in his unruly red hair. He had been like that for the past five minutes, zoning in and out of holding any real attention. Everything hurt. The other gracies sitting beside, rather they could be considered barely in the vicinity of being 'near' him, gave him annoyed looks. Of course if THEY could get through the physically taxing drills he could. But he couldn't. At least not without feeling like this each day, all the time without any sort of respite. And on the off chance that he was able to climb out of his exhaustion and feel like a human being, Oliver was sure that he'd be hit in the face, possibly literally, by something else that would drag him down. Again.

And it was going to get worse. That fact was pounding in the back of his mind. Oliver had only been at the ATC for a short time, but it had felt much, much longer, all of it at first came as a huge punch-in-the-gut shock. Though now the nightmare-like state he was in, wishing he'd wake up soon, was starting to fade and it was leaving him with the soul crushing ice-pick of despair. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be a candidate, even less so a bloody Pilot. He literally could not. Not physically nor mentally. He was too small and scrawny and weak - looking like if someone breathed on him he'd fall over - and not stable enough to handle it. There were candidates years younger than he was who were more fit for this.

Even after some time had passed from meeting his mentor, Pilot Llown, he thought she was joking about seeing potential in him. Oliver took his hands away from his hair and set them down on the table. Who would be serious about that? Especially if said person tended to get spoons stuck to them. He sighed lifting one of his hands up and having the utensil go with it. It would have been normal if he was holding the thing, but he wasn't. Good boy, Oliver! What a cute trick that is! Blarghhhh.

He shook his hand to try an get it off, which wasn't such a good idea as the spoon went flying behind him and hit something. How did he know? It gave a it-hit-something-sound. Albeit he didn't actually take a glance behind him to see if his paranoia had a base. Not that it mattered. Ah, there we go, panic began speeding across his face making his skin go paler than it was.

It could have hit a person. Oh no. His luck with only getting by with teasing and snarky remarks aimed at him for bullying might have just ended. He was dead. So dead. And all because of a spoon.

[Anonymous]

As the spoon smacked into his chest, Eli blinked down at it. What was it about him getting hit with things in this cafeteria? He must have some weird karma. Or this was another time the universe was helping him find his fate. Last time he had discovered the pain in that pretty blue tinged girl. Maybe he had something to offer the redhead!

Taking a seat across from him, Eli smiled, holding out the spoon, "Hey, ya dropped this man. Gotta be careful!" He frowned, noticing how upset the other man looked, "You okay man? You look like you got some bad energy goin' on."

[Anonymous]

An expression nearly akin to horror appeared on Oliver's features as he numbly watched a stage bloody three candidate sit down across from him. And hold out the spoon for him to take. He looked younger than he himself was and was a heck of a lot bigger. It was intimidating. Oliver did not take the spoon right away and when he did he probably looked like a wide-eyed frightened little thing who was waiting for something to lash out and eat him.

It didn't actually happen, of course. The candidate even seemed cheerful. He should be angry! After all Oliver had flung a spoon at them. Not on purpose, but he had seen things go down in the lunchroom over much smaller accidents. Oliver mumbled a 'thank you' and a 'sorry' that probably wasn't heard and turned his eyes downcast to the untouched food on his tray.

He was probably lucky to have that demeanour tolerated by the higher ranking candidate. Most would see it as an opportunity. Oliver would know, he'd dealt with his fair share of bullies as a child. Look what good it did him. Negative energy? A person didn't need to be an empath to see that. He was practically walking and occasionally talking rain cloud.

"U-um..." He said and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm f-fine. B-but thank you."

[Anonymous]

"Whoa man! You are like negative mojo central. You gotta purge that! Bad energy collects bad energy. Have you done a cleansing ritual or some meditation?" Eli could hardly believe the negativity coming off the kid, it was brutal. And he didn't really know why.

"What's wrong? You wanna talk about it? Keeping bad things in just lets the bad vibes build."

[Anonymous]

Negative mojo central? That was not something he heard everyday. Well, it was but, not in those exact words. Oliver couldn't help but find himself looking up from his food tray and staring at this candidate with his mouth hanging slightly open.

Was this for real? He didn't even know him! Again, he found himself forgetting that all the candidates were psychics and could pick up on such things without being told about it. It was a little unnerving to have his person being read like an open baby's-first-book. He preferred that he wasn't. Everything was a lot more simplier before he was drafted. Oliver could keep everything locked tightly away then.

"I-I.." He found himself lost for words. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Was this kid just saying that he could just get rid of all his anxiety, and neurosis that had being plaguing him like a slow death for years, like it was easy? That made him a little annoyed.

"I've t-tired." He said finally. "And n-no. I don't want to talk about it. I don't even know your name."

[Anonymous]

Eli didn't need to be a psychic with Oliver and wasn't actually using an abilities on him. The other kid's body language and facial expression said it all.

"Oh man! I'm sorry! That's so rude of me. I'm Eli! I'm a stage 3, pretty cool huh! What's your name? And, well, it is totally hard to break the negative cycle. That's why its good to not start on it. But we can totally work on it! Expel that bad mojo and pull in the positive energy!"

[Anonymous]

Truth be told. Oliver simply assumed everybody used their psychic abilities all the time, why not? However, he didn't fall into that trope. So it wasn't everybody as previously stated. Albeit that was because he had no sense of grip on his own. Some days when he woke up from the ridiculously uncomfortable bed he would forget he was psychic himself and in the ATC. Ah, those were some very blissful moments. Too bad they didn't last long, once the soreness of his body kicked in, he was reminded.

"U-uh...It's okay." He said, nodding, and started to feel bad about the slight annoyance he had displayed. However, it seemed like the stage 3 didn't catch onto it. Or he was emitting just enough of that negative mojo to mask the brief irritation. His name was Eli? That was a name that sounded familiar, more than likely it had been tossed around the lunchroom enough times to stick to him like a bad piece of toffee. "I'm Candidate M-Mavolio..Err, I guess, O-Oliver?" Yes, question your own name. Good one.

"We?" Meaning, Eli wanted to help him. Him. Oliver. What was with it and people thinking he could do something about anything? Honestly. "You want to h-help? But why? I can't do anything f-for you."

[Anonymous]

"Oliver! Cool! I love that name." Eli looked slightly puzzled, tilting his head slightly, "Do for me? Why would I want anything? This is about you!" What a weird kid! Eli never understood that attitude so many of the other candidates displayed here. Why did you have to want something out of people, "We'll get you to a better place and you'll feel so much better."

[Anonymous]

"You do..?" That was a little shocking. Oliver found himself averting his eyes away from Eli, his face going a flush scarlet. He didn't usually get comments on his name. And the comments he did get were 'oh that's what we named our rabbit!' or 'that's what we named our cat!'. To say the least, he was taken aback by the compliment and didn't quite know what to think of it. Lucky enough for him, his embarrassment took care of the words.

Most people do want something. That's why. There was always a price. Always. And the fact that Eli stated that there wasn't made Oliver all the more wary of the candidate's real motivations. He was used to being manipulated and used up to be tossed away like a dead-end toy. He could see it when it was starting to happen all over again. But he wasn't sure about this. This didn't seem like that.

He wanted to believe that there was an escape.

"...Y-you really mean that, d-don't you." He said, "How, e-exactly?" Maybe if he gave in, and let Eli try to fix whatever that was wrong with him, he'd realise that there was no point and such things were better off left alone.

[Anonymous]

"Oh, I donno. But we'll try some stuff and see what works best for you." Eli beamed, totally unaware of the upheaval he was causing in Oliver's poor, paranoid psyche. He took a bit of a french fry, wincing inwardly at the greasy taste. He was getting used to food like this, but he missed his mom's cooking.

"Finding the road we take is part of the journey. Gotta find what's right for you, ya know?"

[Anonymous]

"I g-guess." He muttered, watching Eli take a french fry and trying not to be reminded of how terrible it probably tasted. How could he eat that? Oliver could barely stomach enough to keep him from fainting during drills. And it was the least of his worries. It was like they decided to take everything inedible and serve it to the candidates on purpose, perhaps to toughen even their taste buds up so that in the dire situation that they needed to eat wasteland dirt to survive they could. Radiation, what radiation? Psychics could just beat it off with their willpower, of course.

"So...T-this is a hobby for you?" He said and continued to eye Eli suspiciously despite that the candidate had done nothing to deserve Oliver's scrutiny, other than say 'Hey man, you look totally bummed out, need an ear?'. That really didn't matter to paranoia. "Do you find miserable looking people often a-and try to cheer them up?"

And for what reason? So you can feel better about yourself?

[Anonymous]

"Hobby? No. What?" Eli laughed, looking confused, "You just looked sad. Who wouldn't want to try and make it better." He honestly didn't understand Oliver's paranoia. Tilting his head to the side, he watched the redhead, "Is something wrong?"

[Anonymous]

Lots of people wouldn't try to make someone feel better. Lots of people would leave that person to wallow in their own despair, so long as they're not bothering anyone with it. Something told Oliver that Eli seemed to see the world in rose colour glasses. Actually, it was fairly obvious. No wait, really obvious. How could he be like that? The candidate across from him was in the third stage, meaning, he had survived years in the ATC. In the program; the same program you hear countless of horror stories about. And most of them are true.

How did a person like this even exist?

Oliver looked like he was going to crumble right there, in the cafeteria no less, everything about him seemed to scream it; the way he sat with his shoulders hunched over, the deep dark bags under his eyes that gave the impression he had not slept well or at all in a long while. And his general scruffiness. It told the world he didn't care. Don't pay attention. Move along. What made it worse was Eli. He didn't pass him by. He made an effort not to.

Oliver wished he wouldn't. And he wanted his paranoia to be right for once. A selfish person would realise soon that there was nothing there in him. Luckily, the probability for Eli being an actual good person was slim. Please don't actually exist, please.

"H-how do you get through the candidacy?" He said, ignoring Eli's question. Not that Oliver needed the information, but it steered the other candidate away from the other topic. "It just seems...Um...tough." Understatement of the decade.

[Anonymous]

Eli did just see the best in people and things. He rejected negativity and chose to embrace the positive side of life. Growing up with a hippie mother tended to give one a unique look on life. He didn't understand why or how anyone could see another person in pain and pass on by.

"Oh, it is. But not really." Eli laughed, "Sorry, that didn't make sense. Um, it takes a lot of work, but it's not...hard once you get used to it. Being a gracie can be rough, with all the physical stuff ya gotta do. But once you get that endurance built up, it's not too bad."

[Anonymous]

You get used to it? That was a little difficult to believe, considering how sore he was all the time, how exhausted. It felt like his limbs were going to fall off at any given moment. He was half tempted to write 'Property of Oliver Mavolio' on himself all over, just in case one of his arms happened to roll down the hallway.

"W-well, I h-hope it does." He said, running a hand through his hair. It didn't matter if he messed it up, it was already horrible. Eli's laugh was a little reassuring. It helped that it wasn't the evil sort you hear from witches in weekend cartoons he used to watch as a child. And as an adult. It definitely would be nice to not have that pain, a small comfort. Oliver was pessimistic, not a masochist. He bit at his bottom lip. "Does...It e-ever get easier to live here? I mean...Missing home - Uh, s-s-sorry."

He really didn't know why he was sorry.

[Anonymous]

"Oh sure. I mean, you still miss it, but it gets easier. And there are visiting days and stuff. I write my mom all the time. It all gets easier." Eli's yellow eyes watched Oliver, the way he moved, "Hey, so, your chi is all out of wack dude. You should start doing some meditative stretches. That will help a lot, get your energy moving right and you wont feel so stiff. Or as heavy with the negativity."

[Anonymous]

There are visiting days! Oliver hadn't realised it, or was too stuck in his own little world to pay attention to the sliver lining. It was the latter, most likely. He wondered if he could see his cat. Probably not. But the thought of being able to see his mother and sister...To get hugs from them, to see them face to face and know that they hadn't forgotten about him. It...It was almost too much. There had to be a catch. Was Eli just joking? Probably was. Pull the poor little Gracie's leg. Ha ha.

Oliver stared at Eli. He tended to do that a lot, he noticed. He didn't know where else to put his eyes, certainly not in his pocket, that would just make things more awkward, he figured. His face was going flush again when he started thinking about the other candidate's eyes, and how nice they looked. Oliver's didn't even match anymore.

"I-I'm not really...Familiar with the, um, terms you use." He said. Oliver knew a little, but it was through word of mouth and not through research. What was it even called? It was about balancing energies, right? Did it even work? "...Wouldn't the m-meditative, um, stretches make me more sore? I-I don't even know any."

[Anonymous]

Eli didn't mind Oliver watching him, he was more than happy to watch him back. He was really good looking, all that pale skin, red hair and amazing eyes. He wanted to ask him about those, but he could do that late, "I can teach you some! I know tons. And they will help loosen your muscles up and start building muscles you don't use as much, which will help a lot when you are doing the drills. Plus, it helps you get in touch with the universe and really pull in the positive vibes!"

[Anonymous]

"Oh..." He didn't know what else to say. Eli was offering up his time to him, to teach him something he wouldn't understand, or wasn't able to do - he was not the most limber person, but it didn't occur to him that it could come with time - when he could just as easily be going to TRIM. It would be a waste of time and selfish on Oliver's part to use it up. Though it would be nice to get through the drills easier if it helped...Not that it would.

"Y-You don't need to do that." He said, and tried to manage a little bit of an awkward smile. "I don't want to, um, take up y-your time when you p-probably have better things to do."

[Anonymous]

"What is better than helping out a friend? It's no problem at all. If you want, we can compare schedules and see when we can meet. I miss being able to do it in the morning, but I don't have it in me to get up at 3am, ya know?" Eli laughed again, then shrugged, "It will be nice having a pretty face to impress."