OUTER SPACE > Open Space

With Me [Neph and Draco!]

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nephero:
   The initial silence was deafening. Otto half considered a hasty retreat; get going now and then it would just seem like it had been his own idea to leave the whole while. Like it wasn’t the part he had been dreading the most. The blankets shifted and Kirkley lifted one strong arm, and Otto’s breath caught in his chest, rattling around for a few burning moments before shaking out of him again in a sigh.

   He didn’t wait to be asked twice. Otto lowered himself onto the bed beside Kirkley, careful to avoid knocking into any of those still-healing injuries but still pressed as close as he could get away with. Besides, burying his face in an unmarred section of Kirkley’s neck meant he didn’t have to look into the other man’s face— or worse, vice versa. Otto chewed at his lip, caught in a feedback loop of digging into the skin until it was in agony, every last movement pulling at reddened flesh and bringing with it a new spark of pain.

   Anything to distract from the way his heart felt like it was going to twist right out of his chest and take half his ribcage with it. Because whatever Otto had been expecting from this, having Kirkley apologize right back to him was… not it. Apologize and have it be actually genuine. Good gods, when had his standards for relationships gotten so low? As if Otto didn’t know that exact answer. He shifted, uncurled an arm and reached up to touch at the side of Kirkley’s face. He pushed his fingers further, carding them through wild, dark strands before simply settling his palm against the Captain’s shoulder.

   “Somehow, this does not surprise me,” Otto said back, just as quietly. His eyes flicked over the network of fresh and faded scars and tattoos, tracing them even in the dark of the room. “The pranking, I mean. It is… it seems very you.”

   And it did. He might not have known Kirkley for that long, relatively speaking, but the idea of him and that strange goldfish teaming up to have a laugh, that was exactly the kind of thing Otto could see him doing. Didn’t make it any less of a surprise, especially when the prank went wrong, but still.

   But that wasn’t what needed to be said here. Otto turned his face into Kirkley’s hand as it passed over his cheek and lip, the welled up blood there smoothed away and only leaving a distant sense of rawness. An appropriate feeling.

   “I want… to know that you can trust me,” Otto said, mumbling his words a bit considering just how bit those thumbs actually were, “I want you to be able to talk to me. I can forgive, we can both forgive, but… please. Talk to me. Do not just sit me in a corner and shut the door.”

   A mess of a metaphor, but Otto was well beyond caring, head tilted even further to try and catch Kirkley’s gaze before giving him a smile. The gesture was small, barely noticeable except for the pressed lips and pulled corners. And then it was gone, leaving Otto with little else to do but continue to pet and play with Kirkley’s hair the longer he was allowed to do so.

   "So perhaps... we can agree to maybe be more honest with each other? And I can maybe be more patient about what you do not want to be honest about?"

Cheesigator:
Thank the gods that Otto didn't hesitate for more than a mere few seconds before he accepted the invitation to join Kirkley on the bed; had he waited too long Kirkley wasn't sure what exactly he would do, but he sure as hell would've felt like a real piece of shit then about it.

The moment Otto was close he had wrapped that arm around him and pulled him close, and there was something so reassuring about the warmth of the smaller man in his arms, in seeing that black hair fanned out across the sheets and mattress and pillows, it made his heart thud just a little less painfully in his chest.

Although Otto's words were gentle, they still had their unintentional sting; he had been keeping secrets from him, from everyone. And while he may have felt like his reasons for doing so were justified (after all, with so many lifetimes spent living under the damnation of others for trying to tell them his story, being judged, mocked and made fun of, it made it hard to trust or tell anyone anything remotely significant about himself,) that didn't make it any better that he had hid things from them.

But he still felt as if the best way to explain himself, and to a certain extent, Aesir, was to show them. Show them the Meeting Place, let them see that last bit standing of what life had been like before any of their times on that planet that used to be so beautiful, the place he used to call home.

He bit at his lower lip for a moment, nuzzling into Otto's touch as he closed his eyes and thought on it. Would Otto call him crazy? Would he yell at him for not taking this seriously, would he condemn him for lying when he wasn't?

He didn't think so--his gut told him no and how desperately he wanted to fucking believe it.

Otto was asking him for honesty and that was something he had been so hard-pressed to give for centuries now, and yet for some reason this man he had in his arms right now made him want to spill everything. His heart, his guts, his mind. In one of the best ways possible--if that was possible.

He winced as he sat up a bit better on an elbow, keeping his arm under Otto as he placed a hand on the other side of him on the mattress, somewhat half leaning over him as he looked him steadily in the eyes for a moment, debating with himself just how much he wanted to talk, how much he wanted to give away--especially with Aesir in the bed next to him.

"Okay. Honesty." He took in a sharp breath, glancing away for a moment because suddenly it was hard to look Otto in the face while he spoke, gods how many times had he tried this before and been met with regret and hostility?

"Otto... The place we're going it's... It's the only place I could think of to take him. When you talked about letting him get some fresh air." He forced himself to look at Otto again, his eyebrows setting with the seriousness of what weighed on his mind. "I don't want to take any of you there, but it's the safest place I've got. If we took him to Edanith he would.." He looked over at Aesir's sleeping form, losing his words for a moment as the mental imagery of that poor kid being enslaved by the Edani people and used to enrich the soil like some fucking fertilizer made his gut twist as he shook his head. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to get rid of the mental image, grounding himself by clenching his fist in the sheets to try and maintain focus, not let all those fears bubble up and take over him.

"I uh... I don't want to explain too much because what I need to tell all of you is something that I've tried telling thousands of people and none of them want to hear. It's all I can think of to just... Show you." He looked at him again and when he made eye contact he felt all that nervousness and anxiety pile up on him again.

"The last thing I ever want is for any of you to think that I'm lying to you when I'm not. This universe is full of crazy things that millions can't understand and this I guess is just... One of them."

He leaned forward to rest their foreheads together, leaning on the arm that was propped up on the bed and still under Otto as he drew his other hand up to carefully cup his face, brushing a thumb lightly over his cheekbone as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"There's two graves there, one soul. And I haven't visited in a really long time."

nephero:
   Kirkley was debating on telling him the truth. It wasn’t surprising— disappointing, but not surprising. At the very least, though, Kirkley was considering actually telling him the truth. And that said a lot.

   So, Otto was patient. Otto waited for him to think it over, watched the rise and fall of his chest with every long breath. He’d made his own promise, after all, his own little part of this agreement that if Kirkley tried, he’d try too. And that meant if this was one of those things Kirkley didn’t want to be honest about, well. Otto would have to wait it out.

   The colonist took a deep, calming sort of breath, and concentrated on their compromise. Because that’s what needed to happen, a compromise. It was just a pity it had to come on the coattails of so much awful.

   So lost in his own thoughts, focused as he was on keeping his shit together, Otto was surprised by Kirkley’s sudden movement, blinking wide eyes up at him through the dark as the much larger man leaned over him. There was another hesitation, and for some reason that had Otto’s heart stutter, some tiny, nibbling realization chewing through his chest until—

   “Okay. Honesty.”

   Just that, just those two tiny words had Otto feeling overly warm. His chest felt like it’d caught a buzz all its own, electrical feedback looping along his bones until he could feel it even in his toes. It meant so much to him, just knowing that Kirkley was willing to do this with him, and Otto had to blink hard and fast to keep from getting too worked up. This wasn’t even the hard part, and yet, here he was, getting misty-eyed because this man wanted to share with him.

   Good god, Ripley. Get your shit together.

   He took a breath, watched Kirkley avoid his gaze, and it was in that that he knew this was it. The real truth. Regardless of how much information was actually in it— someone else might’ve immediately started grilling for details. And they’d have been right to do so, but even just this step meant so much that Otto was… willing to compromise. Heh.

   Otto followed Kirkley’s gaze to the side, to where Aesir was still somehow sleeping (Otto envied him that, his ability to sleep anywhere and through nearly anything), and caught the implication almost immediately. Someone with Aesir’s affinity for plants would be terribly useful to a country whose entire end goal was to make a whole planet inhabitable. Green. Like how the world used to be before stars and poison smog.

   “Fresher than a garden salad in Margad,” Roy would say. How would something like that play out for someone like Aesir? Certainly not kindly.

   Kirkley tensed above him, and Otto reached up, sliding his fingers over heated skin and tracing Kirkley’s jaw with his thumbs. This was clearly something big, and from what Kirkley was saying, something that was almost impossible to believe. It was no wonder he was so keen to keep it close to his chest, if literally thousands of people couldn’t believe it. That in and of itself was daunting: could Otto believe it? He tried imagining the most outrageously fantastical scenario he could, each more unbelievable and terrible than the last.

   And yet.

   Otto searched Kirkley’s face in the dark. Tongued at one mutated canine.

   And yet, looking at the other man, hearing the note in his voice as he spoke about two graves, whatever that meant…

   Otto wanted to try. If he couldn’t believe it, he could at least try. Kirkley was worth that much. More than worth it, and again that same stuttering feeling started up in Otto’s chest, warming his skin and escaping his throat in a small, involuntary chitter.

   “The universe is full of crazy things, yes. But… you are you. If you say you are not lying then… you are not lying. I can work with this.”

Cheesigator:
There were a few moments in between when Kirkley had finished what little he could give away, and when Otto spoke where he immediately regretted everything he said. It wasn't Otto's fault, no it had nothing to do with him; his brain immediately jumped to the worst conclusion, what he'd learned over centuries when it came to this kind of thing.

People wanted details. They had every right to. They had every right to know just what exactly he was hiding from them, why he was hiding it, especially when he made it sound so big and daunting and it most definitely was--just not in a way most people would expect.

He'd had partners guess lots of things at him before, all of which were true to an extent.

That he was a war veteran with PTSD, that he had undiagnosed mental disorders, that he was a massive criminal hiding from the law, a terrorist--one time he'd been accused of deserting a made up family with a loving wife and children who apparently still needed him. That one had been a little odd.

Even with Otto's comforting touch however, as he closed his eyes and let himself focus solely on that and the sounds of the other man's breath (with Aesir's in the background) he still had that nervousness, that anxiety. That he'd fucked this up beyond belief simply by existing, by being who he was and having led the life he did. No not all of it was sunshine and roses, in fact most of it wasn't, most of it was a crippling, depressing mess.

And yet when Otto spoke he stayed quiet a moment before blinking his eyes open and looking at Otto with slight confusion and disbelief.

So easily he'd just dismissed everything Kirkley had been scared of. So easily, as if he were shooing away a fly, he'd pushed away all the experiences Kirkley had had with partners in the past that had taught him what reactions to expect--none of them could have prepared him for this. For him to just... Accept it.

To accept it and just leave it at that.

And as the realization dawned on him how Otto had just done that (how?? how??) He couldn't help but smile, just slightly, and the surge of relief that flooded through him was absolute. His shoulders relaxed a little, and before he knew it he was leaning forward, catching Otto's soft lips in a sweet kiss that lingered with hope and a little bit of happiness--a big thing, given how awful the past day or two had went.

He brushed their noses against each other when he pulled back just enough to breathe and look his bug in the eyes, his heart thudding a little harder in his chest as he smiled at those little noises the other man made, realizing once again how utterly beautiful and unique Otto truly was.

Seriously, he'd had no idea when he'd looked at him that first time on Otto's colony that he would end up being someone so special.

"Thank you. I promise this is the only thing I try to hide; it'll make sense. I hope. Gods I really hope." There wasn't much else he could do, other than hope that it would all make sense when the crew saw those graves, saw the last remainders of the ruins carved with his and Amaranth's likenesses, standing so resolute in the remnants of what was once known as Fell.

Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't, and they'd still call him crazy and leave. But the fact that Otto was willing to trust him with just this, and to follow him and believe in him anyways made his heart feel so much lighter.

Maybe when they all knew what he really was, what Aesir really was, they'd understand them a little bit better. And perhaps be a little less inclined to hate him when crazy things happened out of the blue, because if there was ever anything that could be trusted to always happen to Kirkley, it was those kinds of crazy mishaps that would rarely if ever involve mortals. But he brushed that train of thought away, in favor of pressing gentle kisses along Otto's jawline, nuzzling him and giving him a soft squeeze with the arm that was still underneath him.

"Thank you." He whispered, holding him close and kissing at his throat, feeling his warmth and hearing his heartbeat, smelling his unique scent and letting it all wash over him and cleanse him of those worries for now.

nephero:
   I promise this is the only thing I try to hide.

    Otto took in a deep breath, the air somehow more filling, more… he didn’t even have the word for how it felt when you took in oxygen and didn’t immediately feel out of breath for it. Like some vice had been released, and he wasn’t stuck sucking at thin air.

   It really wasn’t much. But then again, Otto didn’t need much, did he? All it had taken was an extra set of lab scrubs and a bedspring that one time, and this was hardly the same kind of horror story as that. This was Kirkley. The one who’d offered so much in return for the smallest kindnesses. The one that Otto wanted to trust more than anything. A promise wasn’t much, but Otto could work with a promise. He would work with a promise.

   The ex-Aedolian took another calming breath, and might’ve tried for something humorous before whatever train of thought he had was thrown off the rails. That tended to happen a lot whenever Kirkley kissed him, even feather-light ones like he was doing then— Otto’s brain blanked and everything in him seemed to get replaced with overwarm plush stuffing, like someone had taken pages of code and just… wiped it all clean.

   404: Otto not found.

   He ran his hands through Kirkley’s hair, toying with those wild curls for a few moments before continuing his way down. Otto wrapped his arms around Kirkley’s neck, pulled himself close and pressed soft little kisses of his own to Kirkley’s cheek. Along his jaw. Up to the soft shell of his ear.

   “Thank you. For everything. For trying with me.” He murmured back, nuzzling against the taller man and taking in deep breaths, tasting that familiar scent against his tongue and humming quietly in satisfaction. Quite literally, too, the boarders joining in on the content little collective song, a low buzz thrumming from his throat and against the side of Kirkley’s face.

   “Here,” Otto said, just as quietly, shifting again and urging Kirkley to lay down on his stomach, with Otto curled up against his side. Just enough of a shift for Otto to be able to reach around to Kirkley’s back, pressing into tense tissue and over thick muscle, moving in slow, easy circles over that strong expanse as he planted soft kisses to Kirkley’s shoulder.

   Kirkley deserved a gentle touch. He might not have thought so for himself, but the fact remained that out of everyone Otto knew, Kirkley deserved a moment of softness. It certainly didn’t seem like life was typically keen on dealing it out all that often, and so for the moment, Otto was only too happy to provide.

   After a moment, the massaging turned to gentle scratching, Otto trailing his nails up and down what he could reach of Kirkley’s back, snaking his hand back and forth in a languid serpentine over deep brown skin.

   “Yes?” he asked, even as he made to sit up, setting both hands to work over Kirkley’s shoulder blades. Otto moved back and forth, pressing into muscles and working the tension he found out, pulling back to light scratching before setting back to the prior massage.

   “…Query: Is this the weirdest thing that has ever happened, or is there much weirder? I am attempting to gauge how much weird I should prepare myself for these years together.” Otto quipped after a moment, full lips quirking into a smile as he shook his hair out of his face and pressed his thumbs against Kirkley’s spine.

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