Restless (Sam)

[shinigamikitsune]

Trance laid in his bed wide awake. Sleep just wasn't coming to him this night. It was hard to allow one's self to slip into unconciousness when one no longer felt safe in their own room. The dead kitten in a box had been rather morbid, but the scarf he'd gotten that day with some of his hair woven into it was creepier. Whomever it was that was obsessed with him must have close access to him.

Sure he changed all his locks and pass codes, but that didn't mean he was entirely safe. This stalker could very well have the rank and authority to enter his rooms whenever they wanted... or even if this person wasn't a pilot, there were ways to bypass such things.

He finally couldn't take it anymore. The silence of the room was starting to make him feel uneasy and isolated. He slipped out of bed, dressed in dark blue pj's with little stars and moons all over them. He clutched Pandy in his arms as he left his room to wander the halls.

Trance knew that he wasn't going to be able to sleep alone tonight, if at all. He slipped back into his mind, not really paying much attention to where he was going. He knew Euphoric would guide him to safe places. His dragon had always made sure of that before.

He wasn't sure just how long he'd wandered through the halls, though it had been at least an hour. His mind was finally calm enough for him to feel sleepy. With a yawn he followed Euphoric's directions, not paying any attention as he slipped into the room. He knew instantly he wasn't in his own room when he picked up scents he didn't recognize. However, his mind didn't fully register it. All he knew was that there was another person in this room, and this made him feel secure. A tiny part of his mind tried to remind him that this person might infact be his stalker. Though that part was over ruled by his need to be around another person.

He let out a soft happy sigh when he heard the breathing of the person whom occupied this room. Snuggling Pandy a little closer, Trance quietly moved towards the bed, and gently slipped into the bed. He wasn't sure whom this person was, but he liked how they smelled. It caused him to start purring softly.

[Anonymous]

Alesku slept soundly.  He'd had a long day, running drills, then fitting out the new Tartarus sim.  A technician was working on electrostatic body armor.  If he learned to reorient bodily poles, it would work quite well, but as it was, he had some trouble controlling the fabric as he'd ultimately be able to.  His last Candidate had just become a Pilot.  He was, for the moment, ready to enjoy the six hours of rest he got each night, before he rose to run his customary six miles.

He didn't usually dream.  He'd conjectured it might have something to do with his electrokinesis and REM sleep; Neel had said something like that, but he didn't have Neel's problems, thank the Gods.  

So when he woke up to  an alien feeling, and the prickle of fur, and a humming--no--purring?--sound.

"What the hell!"  He jerked upright, scrabbled for the blaster on his table, and flung aside the covers.  A crackle of electricity leapt from his fingers to the blanket, which snapped and popped electrically as it settled to the floor.

Trance.  

How he'd ever made Pilot Echo Alesku had no idea.  Blackmail, possibly?  Threatened to sleep his way to the top?  No, no.  Alesku calmed himself.  He had been spending too much time with the Candidates and younger Pilots, obviously, he had begun thinking cruelly.  Nonetheless, behavior like this from a Pilot was unacceptably irregular.

"Get up, Pilot," he snapped, a hair away from real anger.

[shinigamikitsune]

Just because he acted differently, and handled his personal affairs in a different way, didn't mean he wasn't a good pilot. Being raised in an ophanage in the lower caste, he grown up in an enviroment were all the kids would sleep in one big pile. Initially it was due to how cold things were, and the caretakers of the orphange didn't care too much of the kids froze to death. Over the years it grew into more of a need for security, knowing that you were safe with the other people around you.

Oncec he became a candidate, he learned out to control his need to find security like this. However the stresses during his training essentially made the need for it worse when he couldn't control it. This was how he dealt with everything, instead of turning inwards and acting as though he had a sticl up his ass like he found most pilots did. He knew most others considered him a freak for this, and he was having to constantly reprove his worth and that he earned the rank he had.

He was nearly asleep when Alesku jerked awake and yelled. His mind was still a bit hazey and filled with the insecurities that came along with the implied knowledge that some creeper stalker had managed to sneak into his room to collect hair. Even if this person hadn't, it was most likely that this person had access to the citadel, since he didn't go out all too often.

His Pilot and cat instincts kicked in as he snapped awake. Although he was still clutching Pandy, he'd curled in a potision as though preparing to pounce. His claws extended, teeth bared slightly, ear alert, and his pupils shifting into the cat slits. This only lasted for a second, once he realized where he was, and he settled down.

He hugged Pandy with both arms now, his ears lowering to the sides, almost laying against hsi head. Trance looked down at the bed, knowing full well he was probably in trouble. It figured that Euphoric would guide him to the room of a electrokenetic, that really did spell trouble with a hydrokenetic like himself. Sometimes he wondered why his dragon couldn't just guidee him to T'liika's room instead. True his former mentor was a huge pervert, but at least the man knew about how he worked in times like this.

[Anonymous]

Alesku had a nose for bullshit.  It was particularly active at two o'clock in the morning, or whatever absurd hour at which the clock had long since lodged.  He folded his arms and stood more or less at ease, idling but by no means shut down.  His body still exhaled the unpleasant musk of disrupted sleep--the cold sweat of metabolic processes too hastily jolted back to life.  Damn it all.  His run would be no good.  He had wanted to do speed work.  More likely he would forego it and hook into the Network instead.  

"Right with you, Captain, you ride yourself too hard."  Calliope made a mental motion that said: he isn't worth your time.

"He's a Pilot.  He's worth the time."  

She was probably doing what she always did--echoing his first, insidious thought back at him so he'd take the high road and refute it.  Ah, Calliope...

"Now," he barked, staring down the droop-eared Pilot, gut roiling in disgust.  It took a lot to disgust Alesku (or maybe it didn't, but it felt like a lot).  What he saw before him was pure weakness.  Pure bullshit.

Nothing he hated more than a morning dose of bullshit.  Sickening.  A glance into Trance's mind, shifting cobwebs and gossamer-weight worry, fetched up against nothing more than the smooth planes of nugatory concern.  Nothing important.  Just sickeningly childish neediness and something vague about his old Mentor.

Vagueness.  Alesku hated vagueness.  Of the many forms of bullshit, it was the most virulent.  

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Pilot," he said, teeth gritted.  

"Not worth it."

With some effort, he untightened the tendons in his neck and let his shoulders relax.

"I want you running laps for the next hour, and then I want you scrubbing washrooms.  I don't care about your rank.  If you behave like a Candidate you'll be treated like one.  For shame.  Think of the example you set when you behave like a gods damned child.  And next time you try to walk into my door, you'll meet up with some two thousand volts.  This is your first and only warning, Pilot."  He stared the man--creature?--down, face impassive.  "Get going."

[shinigamikitsune]

Trance listened to Alesku talk, parts of it sounding like a recond. Childish... ashamed... some sort fo threat. He knew he was being punished, but a part of him was glad. It would be something to occupy his mind while he waited for morning to come.

He did his best to control his wandering. When he was still young in the orphanage, the caretakers were too cheap to buy proper blankets and such, so al the kids would make a big pile and sleep like that. It had started out as a means to keep warm, but over the years it became as a form of security. That no matter how bad things got, it didn't matter when they were all piled up like that. During his candidancy he'd learned how to control it, so that he wouldn't crawl into bed with one of his roommates. That would have been unbelievably awkward and probably have gotten him raped. However, as he continued further with his candidate training, the need for this sense of security only became worse.

Thankfully he was able to control the need to go find that sense of security most of the time. Unfortunately, it couldn't compete with the very real fact that some creep, obessive person had enough access to be around him to collect hair so weave them into a scarf. The logical place in order to gather that much hair was in his apartment. That is what had shattered his control tonight. The feeling that he was no longer secure in his own room.

He slipped off the bed and gave a little nod. "Yes sir."

As he moved to leave, a little part of him was angry. Not at Alesku, just angry in general. Going through the candidate training always left people with hangups. Most of the time they turned out to be harassing bastards, addicts, complete jerks, harlots, or even more then one of those mixed together. So what if he had moments of insecurity that he couldn't supress? At least he wasn't going out and verbally abusing other people just to make himself feel better, or sleeping around because it made reality fade for those few fleeting moments.

There were times when he thought it would just be easier to start acting like everybody else, but he always pushed those thoughts aside quickly. He worked hard to get back to whom he mostly was before the candidacey. It would never be fully, but he could accept that. He just knew that he didn't want to turn into one of those pilots who were grumpy and cranky all the time.

[Anonymous]

Alesku caught the passing tremors of Trance's resentment and frowned to himself.  It seemed the young Pilot had purposefully set out to hit on precisely Alesku's principles.  Excuses.  Excuses.  Excuses paved the slippery slope down to moral degradation, and--

"You sound like a preacher."  Calliope's voice was amused.

"Oh, all right.  But no one thinks in these terms any longer."

"I think bullshit just about covered it."

Fair enough.  Alesku let his mind collapse in tandem with Calliope's like a goosedown sigh.  He felt immediately better.  It was all just and only bullshit.  He didn't need to worry about the fundamental problem with the Pilot program, which was--was values.  Their values came out wrong.  Not that, he supposed, there was much any external force could do with values.  Not many people comprehended the weight of duty, honesty, and accountability, or the pleasures of absolute openness.

But it was all only bullshit, and Calliope let him tolerate it just a little bit better.

His glare softened.  He caught the hint of a hardness from the Pilot--something about hypocrisy.

"Pilot Trance."  He stopped him, one hand out commandingly.  "The behavior of others is not an excuse, nor is anything an excuse for conduct that does not befit a proper" he fumbled for the word "person.  You may go."

He let himself sag into a salute; sagged, though his body remained upright, because he was tired and heartsick and planned, after Trance left, to go and hook into the Network and take what comfort he could from Calliope.  Sometimes he wondered how much you could teach people.

[shinigamikitsune]

Trance wanted to sigh so badly, but he held it back, even the mental sigh her normally would have done. Instead he turned to look at Alesku. His ears were no longer drooping, but more raised in a causal alertness. He no longer looked like the scared child seeking comfort in a parent's arms.

Instead he looked tired, and not just physically. Sometimes it took a lot to keep up the bubbly attituded when he wasn't working, and usually he'd recharge his 'batteries' in his room while he was alone. But he couldn't do that now, his room had the very real chance of being violated by that creepy person. Sure he changed the pass codes and locks, but that garunteed nothing. He had nobody to go to about it, cause really, nobody would give two shits about the whole thing.

"So it's alright for people to be complete and utter asses, cruelly tormenting others all the time simpley because they feel like it?" He knew that Alesku had picked his floating thoughts. He'd grown use to people doing that. "Yet I slip up on my worst weakness for the first time in a very long time..." He does sigh now and holds his hands up a little. "It really shouldn't surprise me at this stage of the game. I've never fitted in with any of the other pilots because I'm not as cynical and testy as they are. I'm just the freakly weirdo that stands out like a neon dot on a block wall. Everybody seems to question me about how I managed to make it this far, never mind my impecable service record." He even had the appropriate hand gesters to go with his little ramblings.

He takes a breath as though he's about to continue, then lets it out slowly. "Right. Sorry. I'll be going now... Laps and bathrooms." He returns the salute.

[Anonymous]

Three for three.

1. Bullshit.
2. Excuses.
3. Whining.

And people wondered why Alesku lacked patience with the new generation of Pilot.  For the Gods' sakes.  

"Yes," he said, tightly.  "Go to it."  He stood aside while the other Pilot exited, and keyed in the door's lock.  He took the time, hand pressed to its panel, to make good on his promise of electroshock should anyone attempt to force it open.  Not two thousand volts, but--enough to make an impression.  He ought to do what he said he'd do.

"Always, Alesku?"

"Well--I know I lost my temper."

Her mental caress soothed him, and Alesku sat back on his bed, running a hand over his beard.  He moved his jaw, getting out the sleep.

"I'll be by shortly."