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Author Topic: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei  (Read 1728 times)

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Offline nephero

To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« on: February 09, 2018, 10:58:30 am »
Hey Jain,

I realize this is probably wildly out of the blue, but I reached Apcintoch and saw some mouse clothes and thought of you. Which, in retrospect, I realize is a bit weird and possibly not what you want to think about? But it looked cute, I was pretty tempted to have a set sent back over to Samariel for you. I'm still here for a couple of days, so if you'd like them I'd be more than happy to send you some.

[uploaded image of a hoodie with little mouse face and mouse ears on the hood]
[and another different sort]
[and a little fish purse for the hell of it, too]


How have you been? I know it's been rough for you this past week, and I know shit went absolutely sideways when I last visited. But it was genuinely nice to finally "meet" you and I'd love for that to happen again. Let me know how you're doing, I have a lot of free time coming up so it'd be entirely when you have a chance.

-Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2018, 11:46:29 am »
Ren!

I was not expecting a message from you! That was very kind of you. I'm sorry I wasn't a better hostess. I know we can't plan for these things but, that's hardly how you should have spent your first trip to Samariel. Thank you again for your help with the cage. The mice are settling in nicely. I bought a pair of ball for them and they've been racing about the apartment like crazy.

The mouse ear hoodie is absolutely precious!!! Oh my goodness! If you're sure it's not too much trouble for you I would love one. I'll pay you back of course for shipping and purchase. Just tell me how much it is <3. I'm sure it's expensive since it's Apcintoch. That is incredibly generous of you to offer and think of me though. ^-^

I'm doing well things considered. World keeps spinning and we just keep going. :) How are you? Is your adventuring going well? You've certainly made some distance going coast to coast as it were. Must be beautiful.

If you find yourself with the time though I would love to have you over again. Hopefully next time will go better. I don't know if Cabal would be coming though. I know you two are friends. He just kind of comes and goes as he pleases. So if you can stand to visit me one-on-one you are always welcome here. My schedule is pretty free outside of office paperwork the next two-three weeks. We've been working on closing up some things but it's mostly Ministry work at this point. I'm not due for fieldwork for a while if all goes well. Just give me a shout though if you decide you really want to make that commute to far off rain city.

Thank you again truly for thinking of me and checking in. That is so sweet of you. I really appreciate it. :)

Hope to hear from you soon!
Jain

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2018, 12:53:20 pm »
Jain-

Please, you were a remarkable hostess under the circumstances. Really, I promise this is not just me being polite, because pfft, good luck with ever getting that to happen. And don’t worry about it, I’m glad we were able to put our heads together and figure out the complex engineering that is apparently mandated in all mice-oriented housing projects.

Seriously, who comes up with those designs, because I have several words for them. Or maybe just two. Starts with “up” and ends with “yours”. Hah! But ohh, I bet they’re adorable.

Speaking of adorable, I’ll be sending out one of the sweaters in about ten or twenty minutes. Theoretically. This line at the postal service is pretty intense. A whole four people, I may actually be here for the next several hours. I hope they provide food and water, there’s a tiny old lady in front of me and I fear for her safety. Also don’t worry about the price, I’m pretty sure I got yours for free as part of some special they were running. I… may have gone a bit overboard with my own shopping and now have to ship my own shit back to Ryun just so I don’t have to lug it all over kingdom come.

I’ve made it this far, should be back home by next week, I think. Honestly the whole trip has been kind of a blur. I’m trying to pack in as much as I can, but that might have to be for another go around the world. Haah!

Ah, yeah. I’ve kind of noticed that about Cabe. But c’est la vie or however it is you’re supposed to spell that. I’m honestly too lazy to change applications on my com and find out. Have you heard from him at all? I’m hoping he’s doing okay, I haven’t really had a chance to stop and talk to him or anything since I was in Samariel, and you’ve known him way longer than I have. Though no news networks have reported a sudden infestation of otherworldly beings tied to a botched ritual, so I guess that’s a good sign?

I can absolutely stand to visit you one-on-one. Let’s say I’ll try to make a trip out before your next assignment. The only thing I really have on the docket is just a little restructuring and organizing I guess you could call it, but after that it shouldn’t be too much trouble to hop on the rails again.

Looking forward to seeing and/or hearing from you again.
-Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2018, 02:56:55 pm »
Hahahaha! YES! I'm entirely convinced Jesse charmed his way into having the pet store put it together for him. I mean setting up the fishtank wasn't even as complicate and that thing required all KINDS of complicated work that probably should not have been done while sober.

And well then if you won't let me pay you back then when you come to visit I can buy you dinner. So HA! :P I'm sorry the line is such a pain though. It's why I usually prepay online and then just drop the box off once I'm there. Line hacks for next time I suppose.

As for Cabe, no I haven't. Though that isn't unusual. He reminds me of the wind, just comes and goes in a flurry of attention that you don't even realize you're missing until he's long gone on the next adventure. I'm sure he'll surface again when he's good and ready. You get used to the waiting. Granted with the jobs we work, who knows how long that could be. Best advice I can give about that is be there when he needs you and I guess understand when he doesn't. He's a good guy, a really good guy and I consider myself really lucky to call him a friend. I'm glad he seems to have a friend in you though :) You're really sweet and he could use that in his life. He certainly isn't getting that from me. :P

Ah spring cleaning, yeah I should probably get on that myself. Lot of old dust and old ghosts lurking about in these four walls. How the hell do we accumulate so much stuff? I mean really now! I'm hardly home and yet soooooo much stuff! But, yeah if you find the time you should totally come up here.

Oh! And we should go to the aquarium when you're here. If you like that kind of thing that is. You don't have to. I just love seeing all the colors as they flit about and dance. The ponds are fun too though a bit too peaceful for Jesse and Cabe if we're being honest. Really we can do whatever you want even if it's just sit drinking tea on the couch and ignoring each other's existences until mealtime XD. But, you better start using that noggin and coming up with plans. I'm actually looking forward to seeing you again and actually getting to properly visit. :)

Again thanks for thinking of me ^-^
Jain

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2018, 03:29:33 pm »
Jain,

I mean, wouldn’t you walk into a pet store and purposely commission the most singularly maddening piece of pet equipment ever devised by Dragons and men for the sole purpose of utterly flabbergasting your friends in some undetermined point in time?

Because I would. I should. Don’t be surprised when you’re helping me put together something equally maddening for my new pet rock.

Oh no! Dinner! Whatever shall I do? How could I possibly accept such a thing as repayment in the form of a shared meal between friends? Oh, woe is me, I can feel the walls closing in, this is it!

Haha, I kid, of course. Dinner sounds amazing. Regardless of the presence of fleeting gusts of wind or not. I had wanted to make sure he was all right, I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up without sounding nosy, you know? But if that’s what you think, then I’ll just wait for when he pops back up again. It’s going to be weird having a spare guest room again, though. I may have to paint little faces on all my pet rocks and arrange them about the apartment. Which is not weird in the slightest, I have no clue what you’re on about Miss Dau, but them’s fighting words.

Winky face.

I say as I also discuss spring cleaning. Why yes, Erenys, just accumulate more things as you’re trying to get everything in order. I mean, at the very least it’ll make for a fun time.

   “Why Erenys, why on earth did you purchase this five foot tall painting of a koifish pond?”

   “Why, I have absolutely not a single clue. Nor about these three other similar ones. WHO WANTS THIS ONE!”

Ah, but alas. I guess it all just sort of piles up when you’re at it for two centuries. Sincerely, I think I still have some formal wear from a hundred years ago. Did you know our uniforms used to be entirely red? I’m sure it was intimidating in large numbers but honestly I felt rather like a Yule ornament. It did nothing for my complexion.

Cue me huffing and flipping my hair in an offended fashion. Haaaaaaah.

I would absolutely love to go to the aquarium, and the pond. Having peaceful moments just underscores the chaos when it does strike, and if you’re not overwhelmed by nonsense, well, then what in this whole Cosmos is the point?

That being said I hope you are ready for one of my patented Erenys Dei Plans. If you’re not, I suggest you get started getting ready for said patented plans that are absolutely patented. Because Jain, my dear, they are being brought. Complete with articles of trademarking. Or whatever those are actually called, I really never quite paid attention in my early 100’s.

Any time!
Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2018, 04:50:08 pm »
Oh Ren  ::),

You think too highly of my friends. If I wanted to confound them I would simply send them a fingertrap. Imagine how long they'd be stuck in that thing. Hell you don't even have to bring dandylion or alcohol into that equation before things get interesting.

But, yes! If you decide to acquire an enclosure for your pet rocks (although why would you take such free-roaming capabilities from them you monster!?) I will gladly help you assemble it. It is the least I can do. I do recommend adding the trapeze toy with it but don't let them sell you the trampoline. The last thing you need is your precious rocks catapulting themselves at full force across your apartment. Believe me, it's not worth it.

Oh...so I shouldn't mention it comes with dessert then? Oh my bad. :P

Wait...your rocks don't have faces?! Ren...Ren seriously? What have you been doing with your life? Go give those poor babies faces!!! Or I will fight you and I'll have you know I can kneecap you quite well from down here :P

Hahahaha oh my I don't think I've laughed quite so much in a while. <3 But seriously, if you've accumulated all that in two centuries then what does that say about me? XD I'm clearly doomed! I know my home may have seemed all neat and tidy but that's only because I totally didn't shove everything in existence into my bedroom. No siree, Pilot Dei I am most certainly not a packrat and how dare you accuse me of such things :P

Ah no see you're going about it wrong. The red was so the enemy didn't think we bleed. Although I guess that wouldn't have really worked for you now would it? Starstriders don't have red blood do they? *wonders*

Oh dear, now you're sounding deviously like Jesse. I know quite well to be afraid when there's talk of chaos and mischief about. I shall do my best to prepare but I have a feeling that not even Jesse and Cabe could match to your level of finely-aged impishness. Although now I'm laughing because the idea of calling you an imp and imagining you as very very wee is adorable. Excuse me while I take a moment to climb back onto the couch after that one.

But, yes excellent. Please come and we can paint the town whatever color you like. EXCEPT puce because seriously that is not an attractive color and I don't care what anyone says. I will not hear otherwise so don't even THINK about trying *squints*

Seriously though I am quite looking forward to seeing you again. I hope we can get some fun in and you can actually get some rest. Touring the world must be exhausting for all it's fun. I don't ride the rails much anymore save for work but still I swear every time I do I'll venture off somewhere fun. After riding all the way to Yvrie though I've usually had enough of rails though and never seem to make it much further. It's an interesting city though. Did you get to stop there in your travels or just pass through? If you get the chance you should spend a day in some of the lower level areas (yes I know FANTASTIC) but they tend to have a lot of ancient world styled art and stuff. It's a bit of a culture shock and probably still nothing like the real thing but I've always enjoyed a wander there. Believe it or not I, Jain Dau wanted to be a history teacher when I was small. Pipe dreams right? XD

Enough chatter from me though. Hopefully you made it out of that line by now?

Best,
Jain

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2018, 05:43:28 pm »
Hey Jain

Another really random letter. But I guess it’s all random, considering it’s just letters and vowels and consonants all thrown together to make some kind of arbitrary meaning that doesn’t actually, in the grand scheme of things, have any kind of meaning.

I mean right now as I’m typing this with my thumbs the only thing that’s really real is the fact that my brain is firing off the right signals to make me think I’m understanding any of it. Not like I understand a goddamn thing in the first place, so joke’s on my brain I guess. The sucker.

I don’t know. Maybe my thumbs understand what they’re doing. I keep dropping my com on my face and I have no idea what keeps happening when it does. I want to just feel right, but no matter what I try it’s not working. Not long enough anyway. What do you do to feel right? Maybe I’m just not trying the right shit. Or maybe there is no right shit. Maybe this is just what my meaning is, a whole big stack of there is no right shit to magically make me understand anything and be okay with understanding it.

Also I keep thinking that there’s ghosts under the bed talking to me and that’s getting really weird. I’m laying on the floor in the hotel room because I’m tired of the bed ghosts and I think my ass is asleep now. I’m not really sure, it’s weird.

I miss rain. I’m going to sit in the shower. Something something close enough. I really, really want to get used to close enough. So. Here’s where I start, yeah?

ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2018, 08:41:41 pm »
Hey

First...breathe.

I know how fast the world can spin for us especially when things just keep seeming like they are just beyond my grasp and I'll never reach no matter how hard I try. So when the world spins me, instead of fighting it I try to find my balance again.

Personally, I find my peace in meditation and tai chi (yes I look as ridiculous doing it as it sounds). I'd be a liar to say it always work. Sometimes I feel a clarity to proceed...most times I just feel boneless and still adrift. I suppose we don't ever feel better until we're ready to face the monster rearing its ugly maw at us again.

Umm...I'm not sure how you'll feel about this so take what I say and offer with a grain of salt because I know you don't believe in gods and such but there is a meditation mantra that I'm quite attached to. I debated several times whether I should even send this to you and have probably written and deleted it a hundred times already. Here goes 101 though.

I believe it's supposed to be a call for protection and clarity. I don't remember the exact meaning of all the words anymore it's been so long. I've been saying it nearly my entire life though so the meaning is still in there somewhere. Or maybe I've just given it my own meaning. I don't know. Maybe it will help you. At the very least it's pretty to listen to.  [Link to Thanati Mantra]

I don't know what's got you off-kilter. I'm probably absolute shit at helping too but...I've heard talking things out helps too. I've not had much luck with it but I listen well...if you needed someone...

That being said, roll over and get off that floor so you stop dropping the com on your poor nose. It did nothing to deserve such abuse I'm sure. Sleeping on the floor is no good and this is the professional floormat speaking so believe me when I advise against it. Showers are always really nice too. Get to just wash away the funk real and metaphorical.

As for the rain...you are always welcome here. Don't settle though, Ren. Never settle. Never fade. Never give up because close enough is not enough. I don't care how the world spins me; I can't quit. Neither should you. Again I don't know what's got you down but whatever it is, whatever you're considering settling for close enough over, don't. If you want something, don't self-eliminate yourself from the ring just because you're afraid to fight. The moment we settle is the moment we stop being true to ourselves. What's the point then? Nothing is truly impossible. A candle still always burns brightest when it's darkest.

So whether it's the rain or something more life-changing, never give up on what you want Ren. If you want world domination go for it...just wipe all traces of this message before you do. ;) I know we don't always get what we want in life and certainly not when we want it but that doesn't mean we have to sit down and take our lumps. Remember patience is necessary in all things. Just because it's not happening the way we want it to doesn't mean it won't. The pieces have to fall before we can put the puzzle together.

And...I'm sorry if I sound preachy and...and I don't even know the words to describe this word vomit. Take it as you will. The point is if there ever was one is that it's not over until it's over and if you ain't dead, then it ain't over. At least that's what someone used to always tell me. Don't worry about thumbs and brains and meanings tonight, Ren. Clarity comes with the morning or something equally trite. <3

Take a shower, get some good food in you, crawl into that bed of yours and make Aedolis's best blanket fort under those covers. Hell leave the shower on and let the water remind you of the rain on my balcony. Can you hear the pitter-patter of it dinging off the gutter? Those soft splashes and drips as it floods the ground with puddles? That quiet whoosh of it all bearing down?

You'll be here soon enough to hear it for real.

Sending you all the rain-filled dreams!
~Jain

P.S. Tell the ghosts they need to split room costs or get out.

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2018, 10:33:48 am »
Hello Ren,

I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to say thank you again for the mouse hoodie ^-^ It arrived safely and it's more adorable than the pictures showed. I'm hard pressed not to work it to work every day XD. It's probably one of the comfiest things I've ever owned.

As you can see Mitra and Amice have already claimed it (and me) as theirs.

[Selfie of Jain smiling and wearing the hoodie, a mouse on each shoulder and her giving the peace sign at the camera]

I won't keep you though. I'm sure you're still busy taking in the sights and all. Make sure you take some time to rest too! Seems everyone is coming down with something lately. Would not surprise me at all if half the Pilots in Aedolis have turned into exhausted zombies at this point.

Take care!
~Jain

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2018, 12:08:40 am »
Jain,

I’m glad you like it! I prefer soft fabrics as much as I can get them, so I may or may not have spent a good amount of time feeling at the inside of the hoodie to see if it was suitably-mousey-soft or not. Haah.

But all three of you look adorable and well-matched now! I’m not often right, but can I just say I was absolutely right in that ‘cute’ is one hundred percent your style. So right. The most right.

Thank you, by the way, for your letter while I was not at all in my right mind. I know you don’t think much of your own presence and your own importance, but it really, really meant a lot to me to read what you had to say. I just… didn’t know how to respond to it until now, and I was afraid what I might have to say would come off as painfully insincere.

But I don’t mean to be. And I can’t really articulate this without getting a little heavy so… if you don’t want to deal with that, by all means skip down to the JAIN START RE READING HERE bit.

I’m not used to being enough. I’m not enough. I have no gods who I believe made me, and yet I believe I was made with several pieces missing. Like a terribly-manufactured Ekai bureau or some other such cheap nonsense. And after nearly three hundred years of trying and failing to be enough, failing to be able to reach for the thing I want and to actually receive it, failing to earn it, it just gets disheartening. Doubly disheartening, considering there’s two of them, haaaaaah. I’m just tired. I’m so tired of trying to be something I’m genuinely not, and I’m tired of getting my hopes up thinking that I might actually be worthy only to find out, once more, that no I really am not.

I know that this is terrible thinking. I know that this is just my head. But no matter how much I try to talk myself out of it, it’s always what it boils down to. Because it’s always what happens. That or some other cosmic event transpires to throw yet another spanner into the works. Here I am barely into my thirties and I’m so, so exhausted. Even writing this is exhausting, and despite knowing that it’s terrible of me to want to give up, it would just be a relief. I’m tired, Jain. And I wish the tired would just hurry up already and do what it’s setting out to do so I can stop worrying about it.

I don’t mean to put all this on you, though. I don’t mean to make you worry or fear or what have you. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is, you’ve already had to handle so much, and I’m sure you have your own personal problems that don’t involve holding the hand of a man who’s ten times your senior and should know how to hold himself together better. I’m sorry for that. I am.

But my point is, with all of that, with the immense garbage fire that I myself am on a day-to-day basis, you have been the only thing to make sense to me. And you’ve been the only one to tell me I’m enough. And I have no gods to swear by, but by the gods when you say it I actually believe it.

JAIN START RE READING HERE

Your esteem is by far the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, Jain. I could never, ever forget you even if you were just a whisper on the wind. I’m far better off for having known you, and I hope that you believe me when I say I could not be more sincere if I tried.

Also, I would love to be resting and relaxing and taking in the sights, but ye-gods-that-I-don’t-believe-in have apparently decreed otherwise. I promise what time I do have is being spent as asleep as I can manage.

I’m very much looking forward to visiting Samariel again. I think when I’m no longer necessary here I should have time to spare.

Also, I’m considering getting a cat. Fuzz is highly therapeutic, I find. But I suspect Rorschach may become jealous and that would be a great and terrible offense, indeed. So perhaps not. Perhaps I’ll order one of those hoodies for myself, instead. Not mouse-styled, as I am not at all capable of pulling off cute, but by all that is right and good in the world, that faux lining was to die for.

Hope you’re having a good day, Wisp.
Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2018, 12:05:27 pm »
Ren :)

I certainly hope you got yourself something equally soft and comfy. It's like being wrapped in the most gentle and loving of hugs ^-^ I absolutely love it! Although this "cuteness" you speak of...I do not know this word. I'm sorry your message has gotten all garbled...what's that- chzzzzz :P

Seriously though, Ren, you don't need to thank me for being a friend, for being "human," for having compassion like everyone else should. This is what we do for each other. Yesterday you, today me, tomorrow the next person. I'm really glad I was able to help though. I was afraid I was too much. I didn't want to bother you when you didn't respond so I left you be.

On the topic of being enough though...I wish I knew who took the stars from you. I wish I knew who made you believe these horrible lies that you are not enough, that you are not worthy of care, that you have to be something other than who you are. I wish I knew because I would tear them to pieces with my bare hands for trying, and I thank whatever deities exist for this, failing to shatter you.

YOU are NOT a failure, Erenys Dei.

Read that again, I'll wait. You are not a failure. You are enough. You are beautiful, and smart, and hilariously funny! I don't think I've laughed as much as when I receive a letter from you in a long, long time. You have two hearts of absolute gold and the cutest freckles to match! :P Seriously I don't think you realize since I'm so short how hard my jaw hit the floor when I saw you in person. They say Ravens are terrifying and yet all I see when I look at you is a very kind and giving and beautiful man, inside and out.

It's okay to be tired. It's okay to feel weary when you've lived so long and yet are still so young. You're barely older than I am, Ren. Seriously, think about that. We're so many titles and names and things that we forget for a moment, we're still young too. We're Pilots, and soldiers, and children, and parents, and siblings, and friends, and colleagues. But, we're beings too. We exist and I think sometimes people forget that buried beneath all the titles and all the fame and glory and fortune, we are just people. We make mistakes, we bleed, we hurt. Goddess do we hurt like nothing else. And then in the morning we put on that brave face and we smile and we play and we work. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted.

But, that's why we have friends. That's why we have each other to pull us through it. Because anyone that dares say you are not enough, anyone that dares make you believe you are not worthy of them is not worthy of YOU. So screw them, right? You don't need that. There are people that truly care and love you, Ren. Being around you is a blessing not a curse, not a nuisance. Anyone that says or treats you otherwise is a fucking fool. So don't you dare apologize for being you. Not to me, not to anyone. Don't apologize for giving me the honor of your friendship and sharing who you are with me. You are not a burden. You are a friend. And that is a precious responsibility that I am truly blessed to have. So thank you for your friendship. Really and truly I mean that, thank you.

Ah, "whisper on the wind" Clever Ren. You found me! Or maybe I found you ;) Am I really that obvious? Perhaps I need to start looking for a new job :P Get myself transferred into some desk job like transportation. Blegh!

And aww yes you did mention about the hospital and your friend. Did Nym go and do something stupid again? I know he's your commander and friend but I just don't understand him. Too reckless for my tastes maybe. Regardless I hope he feels better. On the upside you could look at your little hospital adventure as a means to make a difference in someone else's life. Maybe you're meant to be there for someone, even a stranger who needed you just in that moment. Or it's a sign you're meant to take a rest of your own. A reason to keep you still and at peace. OR and the most likely of them all...the goop monsters of the universe are out to get you and are slowly enacting their plan of world domination via hospital internment and isolation. Definitely be on the look out for bits of purple slime just oozing their little ways along the walls and halls. That's the first sign you're in danger.

I'm looking forward to you coming as well. You'll be here when you're able and that's all that matters. The when isn't as important.

Both. Definitely both. Rory I'm sure will understand. He is such a generous and loving fuzzball, and don't let Cabe lie and fool you. Aww I miss that beautiful boy so much though. He always gives the best furry snuggles. Sorry Mitra and Amice but you can't compete with a ball of warm purring fluff.

But yes if you have the time to be home and all you should get a cat. They're lovely. I loved when Cabe would let me kittysit Rory. I just am not home enough with work to be able to manage caring for one. I worry about the first mission I Have to be away from home a long while with the mice. I know Jesse said the autofeeder and everything will work but....my track record with fish has been rather depressing.

Enough about me though! You thought you could distract me but I will not be deterred! Right, that was definitely me distracting myself who are we kidding. You could get a kitty hoodie though. Then when you come to Samariel we can match. Also I'm sorry Ren but you cannot lie to me. I read your birth certificate. Your middle name is CLEARLY printed as Cute. So lies and slander you most certainly are cute. Own it. Because it's either that or I know the EXACT hoodie I will make you wear when you come here. I walk past the shop that sells it every day and it always makes me smile.

See!
Fish Hoodie (made by newproductions) :P

Just keep me posted what you're up to as you find the time and think of it. I'm not going anywhere XD Take care of yourself and hope your friend feels better <3

~Jain

P.S. Wisp is cute ;)

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2018, 10:54:38 am »
Goddess I really don't like that woman. Seriously ugg! Hopefully she doesn't get under skin the way she gets under mine. She's just so mean-spirited and vile! Always has to escalate things to the next level and just ARRRRG!

Sorry she really does just make my blood boil. Anyway, how are you? I saw you're headed back to Adstreia, what was I so dazzling I kept you from looking at all the pretty simulated stars on our visit? ;) Give Rory a kiss for me and tell him I'll visit when I can. He'll understand. Such a smart furbaby ^-^

Do me a favor though. Kick Andromeda's goddamn ass, for both of us. (Yes I'm back to this she just makes me so fucking MAD!) I swear to the Goddess though if she wins she'll be insufferable. It's always something with her. I don't get why her and Cabe are friends, I really don't. Ok no I do maybe I just don't get why he and me are friends. Imagine me rolling my eyes and throwing my hands into the air on this one. So much grrrrrrrr right now.

Oh and a heads up as well, I heard noise that they may be calling me back into the field this week. So if you suddenly stop hearing from me I'm probably off doing what I do best. I don't think I'll be gone long. Routine in, out, and done kind of deal. They may even let me keep my com this time if it's what I think it is. Not that I can go into more detail on that but you get the gist.

ANYWAY anyway anyway I miss you and I really want you to have a great time in Adstreia okay? Do something fun and a little crazy and very silly. That is an order, Erenys Dei. <3 Text me!

~Wisp

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2018, 11:37:01 am »
   Amazing, I was just about to text you. I think you may be psychic, Jain Dau, and I feel it is my civic duty to report this incident to the Candidate Program’s screening department.

   Sorry, my humor’s off this morning. I haven’t slept right in… a while, and running off onto a railcar at one in the morning is a wildly terrible idea on the best of days.

   This was a huge mistake, Jain. This was stupid and a huge mistake and I don’t… know why I’m even here. Well, no, I do, and you do, too, I suppose. Fuck, I’m an idiot. I’m an absolute idiot. I’m holed up in a coffee shop being an idiot. I am presently drawing a sign that says “beware of idiot” just so I can put it up on my little table to forewarn anyone else of my cloud of excessive stupidity.

   I mean, I’m here, I’m going to paint the most divine rendition of sushi tits I am even remotely capable of. Don’t worry, I’m not giving this contest up. But I don’t fucking belong here. I don’t. And even if I don’t like Andromeda, she does belong here. And I hate myself for envying her for that. Like genuinely, if I could somehow figure out how to not give a single shit and just… be, that would just

   Solve so much shit, I guess. Or turn me into my birthgiver. Fuck me sideways and throw me on the mantle, if that ever occurs there really are no gods and I humbly request that I be gently euthanized to spare the universe an encore performance of wanton psychopathy.

   For you, though, Jain, I promise to try and enjoy myself regardless. Frozen ears and all. (I have no gods to curse, and yet here I am cursing them for this cold. I’m wearing FIVE layers, Jain. FIVE. And even the coffee isn’t helping!) Maybe get another tattoo. That sounds fun.

   Well, routine or not, I hope your assignment goes well. Come back safe and sound and with a few more tallies for the scoreboard for us, yes? Haah. And let me know when you’re back amongst us, I have a pressing need to draw the little friends doing ballet and would love a second opinion.

Insert salute here,
Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2018, 03:04:40 pm »
Report me?! But Pilot Dei I don't have a number two pencil! I couldn't possibly pass all the tests again!

Yeah bad jokes from us both. At least if we both half ass it maybe we can form a full ass? I don't know that was bad too. My mind is running a mile a minute and not getting anywhere good.

So it was a mistake. We all make them and I would hardly classify it as a monstrous or terrible one. Believe me I'd know. I'm the one that makes those. But, you're not an idiot. Your trip is what YOU make it out to be. You wanted to see Cabe and win a dare so see Cabe and win a dare. He wants to see you. He'd tell you if he didn't loud and clear. Goddess knows he isn't shy about things.

And I don't know where you get off saying that harpy of a woman has anymore right to be anywhere than you do. Adstreia isn't her home anymore than it's yours or mine. Seriously Ren what does she have that you don't? What have you gotten into your head that makes you think such untrue things?

If you really doubt me then consider this. Who did Cabe contact when he got hurt? Because last I checked it wasn't Andromeda and I know for a fact it wasn't me. Give yourself credit where credit is due, Ren. Don't beat yourself up so much. She ain't got nothing on you or me but hot air. So just blow that away.

And hush. Nobody is putting you out of life just yet. I don't know your birthgiver but I find it hard to believe that if they are really all that terrible that you could ever turn out like them. Two hearts of gold remember? Nothing can tarnish those or take them away either. So brush off the dirt and stand tall. You're too good to be fretting like this. And you better have fun for me! I expect a FULL report when I get back. Also put on a hat you goof. You don't have your long hair anymore to keep your ears warm. :P

Thank you, Ren. Lucky me no one will even notice I'm there let alone gone when it's done. Also if you find yourself in Samariel and I'm not around you're welcome to crash at my place. I'll make sure you're keyed to come in. But, oh the littles as ballerinas sounds precious!!! I can't wait to see  <3

Have a fantastic trip, Ren! Chin up and smile wide. No one can take the stars from you, not even me, not that I will ever try <3

Sending lots of good karma and juju and all that good stuff.
~Wisp

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2018, 08:05:41 am »
Erenys-

Home in one piece. Been back a couple days now. Sorry didn't write. You doing alright? Still waiting on that fun report.

~Jain

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2018, 02:55:18 pm »
Wisp-

Good to have you back with us. No worries about the whole not-writing thing, it's absolutely fine. Duty comes first, after all.

I'm fine, all systems normal. I'm afraid I forgot to file a full fun report, though. I did end up getting another tattoo, at some point in all the fun that was being had. Otherwise I'm sure I was on too much of too many things to really remember.

How are you? Hows the little friends? Cage doing what it's meant to and all that?

-Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2018, 05:05:09 pm »
Duty...yes, I suppose. Truth be told I'm rather worn out inside and out. I don't think I realized how much I miss Cabe and Jesse until I got home and there was no one to call or visit or...anything. Sure there were times we all were out and doing work but you knew someone would make it back home soon enough.

I almost called Cabe. Maybe I should have but I don't want to bother him and not like anything he can do all the way in Adstreia. I regret the scuffle we had before he had to transfer. I know we both made our apologies but, things haven't been the same...it's all my fault too and I'm such a fool. I spend a lifetime driving people away from me at every chance I get and then I go and wonder while I'm all alone when it works. I should be used to feeling like this by now. Andromeda's right, I only ever have myself to blame for the shit I get myself into. Whatever, I guess, right? Not like I'm ever going to learn.

And I'm sorry I shouldn't complain to you of all people. You don't need this shit from me. Ignore me. I'm just worn out from being someone else for two weeks straight. Take what I say with the finest of grains of Yvrei salt and then promptly chuck it into toxic seas where it belongs.

The mice are alive and well it seems. They were still in their cage when I got home and if anything Mitra looked rather fat. I think I need to play with the autofeeder more because it's either that or they're not the same gender and I'm about to have a much bigger problem on my hands very, very son. Would be perfect karma for all the Ponyos of the world I've lost.

But, enough of me. What did you get a tattoo of this time? And where? And am I going to get pictures or is it in places that Jain Dau really needn't be seeing for fear of going blind? Also you still liking your new haircut now that the novelty has worn off?

~Jain

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2018, 06:02:57 pm »
Jain, if there's ever any point you just want to call me, or come visit, or call me to tell me to come visit you, you need only ask. I know it's not the exact same-- and I don't mean that in a self-depracating manner or anything, just that I know there's a difference between the good old days and more recent ones. But in lieu of being capable of time travel, I'd be more than happy to be your subsitute.

And while I'm not exactly the expert on "How to make nice after you've set someone on fire", I think you're only going to drive people away further if you don't reach out to them. You should call him, Jain. Adstreia or not, reach out. It won't be the same, I don't think anyone really ever can stay the complete same forever, but that's... kind of part of it, isn't it? Existing with other people, and things changing, and learning how to exist all over again. You're you, you're human, and you absolutely are going to get yourself into shit.

But that's not damning, Jain. That's just how life is. And you can always make the choice for yourself to try differently. To do differently. If something isn't making you happy, and if something isn't working for you, you don't have to keep doing things that way. It used to be some... oh, hell. I want to say seventy years back where, I shit you not, everyone, absolutely everyone had bright Dawn-Glo ass hair and clothing and everything, I mean everything was triangles. It was atrocious, and I have no gods to thank, but thank the GODS we moved away from that.

The Jain who just sits back and pushes people away at every turn? She's wearing triangles. Give the poor girl a new wardrobe, for pity's sake.

You should always complain to me, Jain. My shit's my shit, and you help me shovel it. The least I can do is help you shovel yours. It's what friends do; mutually disgusting shit-shoveling. What a mental image... Though I suppose if the mice are about to become more populous, then I suppose it's still my sworn friendship duty to help clean out all the rodent turds as well.

Why, Jain Dau, are you telling me that you wouldn't want a glorious, terribly shot selfie of my unclothed ass? I thought we were friends! My butt is now saddened to know you never want to see it. Haaaah, in truth it's just on my other collarbone. A tiny little glowing koi. Honestly, between the tattoos and the new 'do I'm feeling terribly stylish these days. If it weren't so cold I'd elect to wear more tank tops to better show it all off, but alas. I still love the haircut, thank you, and will continue to love it for several more decades still.

Seriously, butt-pics, yes/no? Sending some anyway so treat every text with caution. HAAH.

-Ren

Offline GoblinFae

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2018, 09:07:11 pm »
Ren, sweet, precious, adorable, beautiful, generous, kindhearted, Ren what did I ever do to deserve you gliding into my life? You're no substitute. You're your own person and a friend I am most unworthy of. Look at me bitching about missing people to a person still around to listen. Could I be any lower? Don't answer that. I just don't want to be a bother, you know? No one needs to see the Plain Jain show. It's so boring you'd rather watch commercials than stay tuned for the next five minutes.

But, fine. No more excuses I suppose I'll...send him a message. I opened a bottle of something strongly alcoholic earlier. I don't even know what it is but the last thing I need is to be slurring into the phone or saying something stupid. Goddess I'm such a fucking coward. And you're wrong. I'm not a triangle, I'm a loser, a L7 square. There's no coming back from that either. I can face it head on though. I think what I'm afraid of most is if I change, if I let go of the things that I have now, they won't be there still when I move forward. I let go of my loved ones once already. I lost Jesse before his time. I'm afraid to lose Cabe. I'm afraid to lose you.

Maybe it's the alcohol. I just feel so alone tonight. I feel like I'm underwater and I can't breathe and my chest is getting tighter and tighter. It's so quiet here. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just keep thinking about Jesse and how I should have been better to him, how he died alone and no one even knew for days. Is that going to be my end? Is that what will become of me? Am I going to die and be forgotten because I'm just another face in the crowd no one ever tries to see?

Ha, look at the can of worms you opened, Ren. Your little whisper is just as broken as everyone else. Be grateful I suppose that I won't live centuries to torment you further with my hell. Okay that was bad form. I take that back. I'm sorry. Not my best night. I should have waited to message you a few more days I think. yeah, when I'm more me. Shit-shoveling aside, thank you. I don't know if I said that earlier. The warm tingly feeling is starting to take effect I think and my thoughts are rather scattered. I don't mean this any less though. I am grateful to you. Grateful for you. Honored to know you. All that wordy word stuff that sounds stupid but I mean with the deepest most precious parts of my heart. I only have one of those too, so sorry. I can't extend that love and gratitude as much as you but it's there nonetheless. You have become one of my dearest friends so quickly and it frightens me because I don't want to let go. But, I am so happy and will cherish what I get because you are so, so, so, so, sososososososossoso sososo special.

As for asses, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself bending and contorting to take the picture is all. I need you in one piece otherwise who will put up with my disaster of an existence? The tattoo sounds pretty though. Don't let me touch it though. I'll probably kill it like all other Ponyos. Just touch and POOF no more glowy glow glow ness. Decades? You know hair grows back right? Am I going to be your new hairdresser to maintain it or do elfsies? Elfs? Elves! have a what was I trying to say? Something about your hair and growing. Oh does it not grow? That would be unfortunate. I don't know. I should send this message to Cabe before I get so far gone that I try to call him instead and I don't know do drunk girl things. What are drink girl things? Crooning? Oh that would be bad. No crooning. Something! You get the point I think. I don't know. Thank you though and I love you Ren. Thank you for being a good friend. <3 Sorry for offloading on you os much.

~Wispy Wisp

P.S. Hhhhhhhhhh, butt 8) It really isn't fair you know. You have the perfect legs to match. I bet you look great in heels too you ass. Hehehehe ass. I bet it's all perky and cute. Not that it isn't already cute. It looks like it would make the perfect pillow too. When I see you next can I just rest against it? Just one cheek? OMG CHEEK TO CHEEK XD Goddess help me I'm so screwed. It's a nice butt though. Best butt that ever butted. 10/10. No one has ever butted better than your butt is currently butting. Why it's practically a buttress hehehehehe badumtissssssss. Alright I'm done I swear. Game face Jain time. Got an important letter to send.

Offline nephero

Re: To Pilot Echo Dau, from Pilot Noble Dei
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2018, 09:20:12 pm »
Send your letter, Jain. In the meantime, I'm going to get the rest of my shit packed. Neither of us is going to finish this out on our onesie, that much I can promise you. I'm going to catch the next rail to Samariel and you and me are going to be roomies.

That way, you can take your steps forward and... I'll still be there. And I'll also mind the mice while you're doing what you do best.

See you in some ghastly number of hours,
Ren

 

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