Author Topic: Time stays, we go. [Tally~] (Read 11606 times)

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #20 on:** June 15, 2011, 12:13:13 pm »

Gabriel fell quiet after that, the fight draining out of him until all he could feel was Roman's weight against him, his head against his shoulder, his arm around him holding on for support. The anger was all dried up and he didn't try to summon it back, but with it gone there was nothing under which to hide his own exhaustion. He hadn't slept much at all since the shooting, plunging into busy work and just keeping distracted, and when he had, it was with pills. It was one thing to go on a mission where the people were faceless, the bad guys, where he could convince himself on some level that they weren't real.

It was another altogether to see one of his best friends shot and bleeding out right in front of him, shot by the very person that had hurt him.

With a low, frustrated sigh, Gabriel turned and slid his arms around Roman, pulling him against him in a tentative embrace; he didn't want to hurt him when he wasn't fully healed. After all that, fuck it. He didn't care. He didn't care about that stupid fight they'd had, that Roman had freaked out at him because he'd gotten too close. He needed the contact now, wanted it, and after he'd lost Roman entirely--well, couldn't really lose more than that, consequences be damned.

"Me too," he finally said. "I dunno why I let you get to me. I shouldn't have. You're a stupid, stubborn asshole sometimes and I know that. I know you, and it's part of you, and I like you, so I should've seen through it and done what I always do. I just thought I'd wrecked everything."

Tally · « **Reply #21 on:** July 19, 2011, 10:40:22 pm »

Roman lost himself for awhile. A few minutes maybe, he wasn't sure. When he came back he had to remind himself where he was. Gabriel, the rooftop. Right. Time and space were getting confused in his head. He was fading fast. Time to go back. Even now, barely able to stand on his own, it was difficult to admit that he needed to be back in bed, even silently to himself.

He drew back from Gabriel, still holding onto his shoulder for support. He paused. "You can never wreck anything with me."

He waved Gabriel away and went on his own to pick up the pack of cigarettes. He'd let Gabriel help him down the stairs but once they were in the hospital proper and eyes were on them he'd have to walk on his own again back to his room.

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #22 on:** July 29, 2011, 07:56:07 pm »

"Really?" It came as both a relief and a surprise. He'd been so sure that he'd damaged things, ruined what they had, somehow gone too far and made things weird. It was strange to think that sleeping in a chair together would be the thing to do it, considering all the boundary-pushing they'd done, but those others things had always been done in the name of jokes and one-upmanship.

Gabriel let out a breath. "Good. You never can, either, you know. Even when you're being a stubborn jerk," he added as Roman went to retrieve the cigarettes. Dammit, he knew he should have tossed them off the roof.

But for now, he held in the lecture. There was no sense in fighting while Roman was like this--but that didn't mean those cigarettes weren't going to 'disappear', either. Right now, he just felt...drained, but in a good way. Relieved. Beneath all the crazy, roiling emotions, he was just happy that Roman was okay, that he was alive--and he was doing a terrible job of expressing it, he realized with a pang of guilt.

Following after Roman, he offered him his shoulder again. "Ready to go back in?" he asked. "I'll keep you company 'til you pass out."

Tally · « **Reply #23 on:** August 01, 2011, 09:36:06 pm »

Never, he thought. They might drive each other away, piss each other off, say things they don't mean. Gabriel could do all kinds of stupid shit and Roman could take offense to any number of petty things, and none of it mattered at all. This mattered, the two of them here together. He had known that, he now thought, even before the shooting.

It took four bullet holes in his back and an artificial heart beating out an irregular rhythm in his chest before he had learned to say it.

The cigarettes went into his pocket after some fumbling. His hands had gotten a tremor in them, his legs, too. He was grateful for Gabriel's shoulder again. The stairs had nearly killed him a second time. There were three flights between the roof and the elevator.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Stay with me awhile."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #24 on:** August 01, 2011, 09:59:40 pm »

Gabriel felt his throat tighten at those words and he nodded, for a moment not trusting himself to speak. They struck an unexpected chord in him and he had to swallow and look away for a second to regain his composure. It was just...Roman never asked for anything, had to be badgered into accepting company, and this...it made him seem both strangely vulnerable and--

It was just nice that he'd asked for him.

As Roman took his shoulder, he slipped his arm around his waist to hold him and was careful of the injured area. He'd tried to stop the blood pouring out of him; he knew all too well where that was.

"I visited daily," he finally said as they made their way down the steps, taking them one at a time. "And I'll stay as long as you want. I mean, if you want, I'll stay the night. Sleep in the chair. Y'know...be there. If you need anything, even if it's just another body in the room."

Tally · « **Reply #25 on:** August 01, 2011, 10:25:01 pm »

Roman nodded, unable to speak. It wasn't just because the simple act of getting himself down the stairs without faceplanting took most of his concentration. There was too much in his head for him to pluck one thought out and give it voice. He thought of Gabriel in that hospital room every day, and him oblivious, gone, and his stomach twisted up. It was irrational, and a result of his growing delirium, but he didn't want Gabriel leaving him now. Felt like he wouldn't see him again if he did.

Footsteps sounded from the stairs below, but it didn't register to Roman that someone was there until they entered his peripheral vision. He pulled away from Gabriel and stood up as straight as he could. He nearly let out a stream of curses. He did let them out in his head.

Aydan stood below them, grinning around a cigarette in his mouth.

"Roman." He plucked the cigarette out with two fingers and exhaled a cloud of smoke. He gave his son a good, long look. "Ya look great."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #26 on:** August 01, 2011, 10:42:52 pm »

Roman wasn't the only one cursing.

Only Gabriel said them out loud.

He hadn't forgotten that moment in the hospital, what Aydan had said about his own son just moments after Gabriel received the news. It stayed with him and where he'd been indifferent about the man before, it had colored his perceptions of him from that moment on. He tensed, jaw clenching, and glared down at him. And right now, he was definitely not in the mood for bullshit. Especially not if this delay was going to have Roman being all stubborn and determined to stand on his own--and he couldn't hardly blame him in this case.

"You're in the way," he snapped. "Fucking move."

Tally · « **Reply #27 on:** August 01, 2011, 11:03:05 pm »

Roman snapped his head around to stare at Gabriel. Where had that come from? And could he get more of it?

Aydan answered the order with a smile and stepped aside. "Yes sir."

Roman took the steps slowly, leaning on the railing and trying to look like he wasn't. "What are you doing here?" It made little sense, his father's presence, and it raised his suspicions. They didn't see each other or speak to each other. Ever.

Aydan shrugged. "You came back from the dead. Seemed like the time for a visit." His eyes slid to Gabriel. "Good to see you again, Pilot Tierney."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #28 on:** August 01, 2011, 11:15:55 pm »

As soon as Aydan moved, Gabriel continued down the steps and did his best to pretend the man wasn't there, focusing instead on Roman. He didn't move to help him and let him take the steps on his own, but he stuck beside him in case he stumbled. Or passed out.

"Huh, can't say the same!" Gabriel replied cheerfully as he made it to the bottom. "Are you done now? Visiting hours are over."

Tally · « **Reply #29 on:** August 01, 2011, 11:45:56 pm »

"And yet you're still here, aren't you?" Aydan said softly.

As he drew level with Aydan, Roman paused and looked down at the cigarette in his hand. He scowled. "You smoke?"

Aydan shrugged again and blew a smoke ring toward the ceiling. "Occasionally."

"You can't smoke in a hospital."

A wry smile, and Aydan put the cigarette out on the wall then flicked it down the void between the flights of stairs. He ascended the steps and as he passed Gabriel he leaned as close as he dared and said in a low, silken voice, "Thank you for your service."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #30 on:** August 02, 2011, 12:04:36 am »

"I meant for you," Gabriel answered, staring pointedly at Aydan.

If it had been anyone else at any other time, the following exchange would have been hilarious. Roman? Being a rules lawyer? Over a habit he shared? Hell, it wouldn't have surprised him if Roman had tried to smoke in the hospital to begin with and, deep inside, Gabriel was dying to call him on it.

He saved it away to rub in later.

Passing by Aydan, he wasn't going to pay him any mind, intent on getting Roman back--but when the man leaned in and spoke quietly to him, he tensed and felt a small shiver travel down his spine. It wasn't the words so much as the tone, leaving behind a gross, uncomfortable residue. What...the fuck was that?

As soon as Aydan was gone, Gabriel leaned closer to Roman, still tense. "You have one creepy-ass dad, y'know that?" he said as they continued down the hall toward his room. It was empty at the moment, so he moved a little closer and chanced slipping his hand around Roman's waist.

Tally · « **Reply #31 on:** August 02, 2011, 12:36:30 am »

Aydan's smile didn't fade as he continued up past them out of sight. He climbed to the roof, mulling over the exchange. He had come to a conclusion down there.

He wanted to fuck Gabriel Tierney, and he wanted to do it while wearing his son's body.

[hr:35kijqqm][/hr:35kijqqm]

As soon as they were no longer in Aydan's line of sight, Roman slumped against Gabriel. He had to put his head down. He was about to pass out. Another minute of that and he would have hit the floor.

In spite of all that, he laughed. Creepy. Yeah, that was his father. That and so much more. And Gabriel—irreverent, insufferable, never-back-down Gabriel—had cursed him out, snapped at him, and shown him nothing but disrespect. Roman laughed and shook his head, lightheaded. "That was amazing. I love you."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #32 on:** August 02, 2011, 01:07:45 am »

What. What?

Gabriel's head snapped around to stare at Roman, the sour mood fading away as quickly as it had come and his chest tightening at the words. Did...he...just...what? For a moment, his mind blanked out and he struggled to get it working again, struggled to think rationally because Roman was tired and he was running on little sleep and no one was one-hundred percent here, Roman especially. Right. Aydan. That's what they were talking about.

"Oh. Heh. That's nothing. You shoulda seen the part where I punched him," he said, arm tightening around him in a one-armed hug. Shit. It wasn't working, heart going a little too fast. But clearly he was delirious. That was the only explanation. He didn't know what he was saying.

Why did he have to say that?

They were to the room by then and Gabriel steered them inside it. "No one gets to treat you like that."

Tally · « **Reply #33 on:** August 02, 2011, 01:24:04 am »

One thing Roman never thought would be true—he was happy to see that bed again. He crawled into it on his stomach. A couple of the bullets hadn't exited. His back was more tore up than his front and he couldn't sleep on it.

"Stay," he muttered, pulling a pillow to him.

He could have sworn Gabriel said he'd punched Aydan, but that couldn't be. He must be hearing things.

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #34 on:** August 02, 2011, 01:36:02 pm »

As Roman climbed into bed, Gabriel pulled up a chair and slid into it. "You couldn't lose me if you tried, honeybear."

He was quiet for a moment, not sure if Roman wanted silence or needed to hear a voice. It didn't matter if Roman couldn't carry on a conversation; he didn't need to. Gabriel was good at running his mouth and he knew that sometimes just hearing words spoken by another person could be comfort enough. Enough to remind you that you weren't alone.

"So, uh...by the way...I'm sorry. For going all aggro on you," Gabriel said after some shifting around in the chair to try to get comfortable. It was impossible to do in these chairs--probably to encourage more people to go home--but he was tired enough himself that it hardly mattered. "That really wasn't the first thing I wanted to say to you. There was a lot of other stuff and just--I dunno. Of everything else, that was what came out and that wasn't what was supposed to and--"

And maybe he was being stupid. This wasn't the time and he knew it, with Roman barely hanging on--or maybe he was passed out already.

Maybe that's why he chose now, because he was a coward.

"And I guess...what I'm trying to say is--what I wanted to say, I mean..." Deep breath. He knew if he didn't say it now he never would, and then he'd come to regret it again, like he almost had this time. He might not get another chance. Things could happen anytime, any day, like it had that time. It didn't matter if it was never gonna happen--that was okay. But he just wanted him to know. "I missed you."

He brushed some hair back from Roman's temple and leaned in to replace his fingers with his lips. "And I love you, too."

Tally · « **Reply #35 on:** August 02, 2011, 03:16:08 pm »

"Hey," he snapped. His eyes were closed, his words slightly muffled. "What did I tell you about using WoW lingo in real life? I'll smack you."

He was drifting fast. He'd been awake now for nearly three hours. It was the longest stretch of time he'd managed to stay conscious thus far. If he'd been fully awake and healthy, able to stop himself, he would never have said what he said. He would never have had the thoughts to begin with. They would have been crushed beneath an infinite denial before even taking shape. He couldn't stop them now and was only half-aware of them, confusing them with dreams and memories. He was too far from wakefulness to speak, but one of them, one thought, communicated itself. It drifted up to Gabriel from somewhere between his conscious and subconscious.

"I think we knew."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #36 on:** August 02, 2011, 04:57:19 pm »

"Yeah..." Gabriel said, brushing Roman's hair as he drifted away. "I think so, too."

[hr:2ops4pz9][/hr:2ops4pz9]

It had been a week since Roman had woken up. A week since he'd said--thought--the four words that had been haunting him ever since, four words that had been far more shocking than the previous three. Gabriel didn't bring it up again, though, because Roman didn't either. Roman didn't seem to remember anything they'd talked about which...he guessed he shouldn't have expected, anyway. Not when the man was weak and heavily medicated and could scarcely hold a conversation.

So Gabriel visited him daily, talked to him when he was awake, but kept the conversation light and about not much of anything--and tried to not let it bother him.

Deep down, though, he was just bursting to ask.

And terrified to do so. People said weird things when they were delusional, things they didn't mean; maybe Roman hadn't even been talking to him right then, or had been talking about something completely different? There were too many questions and explanations and possibilities and outcomes and if he thought about it too much he'd make himself sick--because most of them weren't good.

For now, though, his mind was occupied with other things. Like getting Roman home after he'd been discharged, a process in and of itself. Roman hadn't wanted the help, but Gabriel had insisted--which meant he'd taken charge whether Roman wanted it or not and saw to it that he got safely from the infirmary to his apartment.

And he did it all calmly.

Roman was wearing a blood pressure monitor and was under orders to, well...take it easy. If his blood pressure got too high, it could trigger cardiac arrest. So, since Gabriel did not want his heart to explode, he'd made an effort not to incite anything. Let Roman bitch! For once--and only once, because he didn't want him to die--Gabriel would be on his best behavior.

Opening the door to Roman's apartment, Gabriel stepped aside to let Roman in first. "Blank'll be happy to see you," he said as he stepped inside. "She's been all extra needy and everything. I think she's missed you."

Tally · « **Reply #37 on:** August 02, 2011, 06:43:59 pm »

"I can open a goddamn door!"

If Gabriel hadn't already been out of his way, Roman would have shouldered his way past him. Getting out of the hospital had been one long string of difficulties, each one testing his nerves to the last. Keeping that BP monitor from going off was a fucking inhuman feat.

It had started beeping right from the start, when August was giving him his orders. One month's forced leave. A thorough investigation by the auditors. Visits to a counselor three times a week. Physical therapy daily. Off of field work indefinitely. He couldn't remember ever being so angry.

He'd only been able to calm down when he though of just how close he'd come to demotion. A biting dread mixed with bitter shame ate at him from the inside whenever he thought of it.

Then came the trip back, with every fucking Pilot in the Citadel looking at him and knowing. Knowing he hadn't been able to do his job without popping speed. Gods.

Roman stormed into his apartment and threw his bag on the couch.

"And what am I supposed to do now?" He laughed, bitter, and spread his hands. "A month? What the hell am I supposed to do for a month"?

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #38 on:** August 02, 2011, 06:57:11 pm »

Closing the door behind them, Gabriel raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What? Hey, lots of stuff! Dude, you're on leave. This is an overdue vacation." A forced vacation, yes, under horrible circumstances, and Gabriel didn't know if Roman was even capable of relaxing or knew what the word meant. But he'd been trying to spin it in a positive light the whole way here.

"Now you can do everything you couldn't do 'cause you were chained to your desk. You know, read a book, play a game, catch up on movies, visit some friends..." He raised an eyebrow at Roman and grinned, nudging his arm lightly as he passed by him. "Buy some new clothes. C'mon, it's not forever. You'll be buried in paperwork in no time so enjoy the break while you can."

Tally · « **Reply #39 on:** August 02, 2011, 07:14:45 pm »

Roman stood there, breathing slightly hard. Not from the ranting so much as the walking. August hadn't been kidding. Even a regular-paced walk could wind him in a matter of minutes. He felt, for the first time in his life, frail.

He glared at Gabriel side-long. "I know what you're doing."

And he couldn't decide if it pissed him off even more or made it easier. Both, in a weird way. He hated that Gabriel was acting different around him. Fucking hated it. On the flipside of that, without Gabriel openly instigating him, he found it harder to maintain his anger...even if he wanted to.

He sat on the couch, but didn't sit back. Still couldn't put pressure on his back like that. He sat forward with his elbows on his knees and was quiet for awhile.

"Scher won't talk to me," he said finally. It was a like a tightened noose around his neck, choking him. Not a word since he'd woken up. Not even a reprimand. He hadn't said anything until now.