It had been a delightful day. The kind that was so simple and sweet and utterly domestic that looking back you could not help but smile softly in recollection and want to hold the memory close. For as long as she lived, Blu did not want to forget it.
Tuesdays were rather ordinary, but she had awoken feeling wonderful. No morning sickness, an almost full night’s sleep, and a happily squirming bundle of joy rolling about inside her. Life was such a precious thing and as the days continued to wind on and on, she could not help but marvel at the wonder of it all.
There was still a deep trepidation about the future, both hers and Plague’s. The baby at least would be well-loved whatever would come. She already loved that blessed tiny beating heart so much that it hurt to think she had considered never having children. Even if the worst happened, even if Blu had to be apart from her child’s life, she knew Yavul would do right by her. If he couldn’t take Petite in then he would find that little child a home and stick by them through thick and thin. That’s what family did.
Family.
Time was moving so quickly. Was it really almost half a year since she had formed the Angels and reconnected with old friends and new? Was it really only five, nearly six months since New Years Eve and its aftermath? SO much was happening - had happened - and in no time at all it seemed.
Today though would be the day Blu would remember not her fears and worries, but the sound of Petite’s beating heart on the monitor, the shape of that monochrome form wriggling about inside her on the screen, the moment she learned her sweet, precious little angel, was going to be born a beautiful, healthy, baby girl.
She cried when they told her, though she was sure she would have cried regardless of what gender they told her Petite was. Plague had been with her for the appointment though Sidney had hovered and tried to make excuses to walk by and pop in, much to her amusement. The enthusiasm of her loved ones and her squadron did nothing to dampen her mood. If anything it only served to brighten her days as they all shared in her unexpected joy.
Plague had taken her to lunch afterwards to celebrate. His own amber eyes danced with as much joy as she felt within herself. There were so many words they could not speak aloud about it, but there was no doubt about how much they both were excited and wanted this child. They ate quietly while playfully passing names back and forth. Blu swore she would absolutely not curse her child with another Kulshedra name and made him promise that if she wasn’t coherent enough after the birth to do so herself, to at least spell the baby’s name right.
It was all so normal and sweet that Blu had kept wondering throughout the day when she would wake up and find it all just a dream. Because that’s what it felt like. All she had ever wanted since she was a young girl was to have a family, a partner, a couple kids, and a place to call home. She had thought Coy would be the one to give her that. She had wished that Darry had been able to give her that. But now there was Plague and all the puzzle pieces of her life had been shaken and scattered so that while they fit together the picture was mix-matched and out of place.
Blu had alway admired him, had always found him attractive both intellectually and physically. His eyes just seemed to always have a way to see right into her to the very rawest parts of her and read her like an open book. Her heart still skipped a beat whenever he walked by or she caught a whiff of his cologne. She hadn’t meant for this to happen when she had asked him to be her second in command. She had not meant to pay him more mind than was necessary as a colleague. Yet, one thing had lead to another and along came Petite.
She knew she should stop what they were doing, should break things off and pretend nothing happened. But, the past is not erasable. Blu saw herself as selfish. She had fallen in love with her little unborn daughter but that was not the only one who had wormed their way into her heart. She cared deeply for Plague and that thought terrified her. Blu did not know what to do about all that either. She knew she needed to let him go and yet she could not bring herself to stop. Every time they were together she swore both to herself and aloud it would be their last. Each time Plague would smile that cursed little smirk of his and Blu knew they both would end up back to where they were in no time at all.
But, altogether it was not a dream. She really was pregnant and head over heels in love with the thought of having this little one of her own. A little girl, a precious new life with a massive future ahead of her that Blu could not wait to show her. She rubbed her palm over her swollen middle and smiled to feel the answering kick.
“Maman loves you so much,” Blu murmured aloud as she stood alone in her kitchen. “Maman can’t wait to meet you and hug you and love on you and show you all that this world can be. I will never stop loving you Mon Petite Amor.”
She gave her stomach one last pat before waddling back to her bedroom and crawling into bed for the night. It was early yet, perhaps only just past eight in the evening but it had been a full day and she was exhausted. It was best to get sleep in when she could. Between work and Petite’s endless squirming she would likely be up and about in a couple hours anyway.
With a smile on her face, Blu quickly dozed off, the sound of her daughter’s heartbeat ringing in her mind. Her dreams were strange though. That tiny drum grew louder and louder still until it was deafening. She was standing in the middle of a red desert, a gun in hand and a low brimmed hat upon her head. She was surrounded by faceless shadows that kept reaching towards her but would back down the moment she trained her firearm on them.
The shadows morphed into faces and suddenly there was Coy spewing obscenities at her while cursing her unborn child. “Dinae want children my ass! Spread yer legs fer every man that so much as glances at ya but couldn’t stand yer wifely duties t’ me! Godsdamn useless whore!” The dream version of Coy howled as his clawed hands swiped at her. Blu found herself stumbling backwards into one of the other figures. A broad, strong chest met her back and she nearly wept to feel his arms around her again.
“Aw Bells look at ya now! Why you’re positively glowing brighter than a sunny day on Fleurivale!” She turned in those arms and felt her heart cease painfully to see Darrin restored to his former self. The scene around them shifted and changed so that she was standing back in Solarta in their old camping spot from their childhood.
“I’ve missed you,” she breathed, leaning heavily into him even as pain gently throbbed in her breast.
He smiled back at her and kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m always wit ya Bells. I ain’t, going nowhere.”
“We all are, amigato.”
Blu gasped then, her breath rattling hoarsely as she spun to face that grizzled face with its bastard grin. “Grisham,” she croaked with tears in her eyes. The pain in her chest was becoming unbearable now, spreading throughout her being as she felt Petite kick within her in protest. This man’s loss was too fresh, too new and painful.
“None of that, Bluhana. You’ve shed enough tears. No need to waste any on me,” the green-haired man said. He offered her a lopsided grin before glancing behind her again and nodding with a wink. “Time to wake up though, amigato.”
“Time to wake up,” the voices of the men she had loved and lost rang out in overlapping unison around her in a growing cacophony of sound that threatened to drown her. The scene shifted again and she was drowning in a deep, dark ocean, alone and without breath. Pain wracked her body in wave after wave after wave as she struggled and failed to drag herself back up to the surface. The shadowed hands had returned to claw at her limbs and drag her back down into the painful depths once more. The drumbeat had resumed in her head too but it was softer and growing slower and slower as the dream bled to black.
Blu Moon awoke with a start, her cheeks wet with tears. She sat up quickly, gasping for breath as if she were still drowning beneath those icy waves. Her nightclothes clung stickly to her frame and she shivered as the running ceiling fan began to give her a chill.
“Some dream eh, Petite?” Blu dragged herself from her bed, wincing as her back twinged painfully. “Maybe a shower would be better,” she muttered to herself before shuffling in that direction. She made it as far as the doorway when the next squeezing pain struck her. It was stronger than the last one, forcing her to catch her breath and grip the moulding.
Blu grit her teeth against the pain but stayed put even as it ended. “Alright that definitely felt like a contraction. Okay Blu girl it’s all good. Go have a seat and it will pass. These are normal this far along. Just...yeah, have a seat. Wait for them to pass,” she coached herself as she eased down onto the edge of the tub. Another bolt of pain had her slamming her closed fist down onto her thigh as she tried to grit through it.
The pain only continued to get worse though as she panted and tensed with each new wave of cramps. It was when Blu moved to stand and turn the tub on that she realised just how bad the situation was becoming. A small pool of red was dripping down the edge of the tub where she had been sitting. She yanked down her pajama bottoms and kicked them off, horrified to see the amount of blood that had soaked through them.
Panic flooded her system then as her knees went weak and she sank to the floor. Without thought her mind instantly slammed into that mental space where she kept her telepathic connections to her squad. She slammed against the figurative door of Plague’s mind, too terrified and in pain to be concerned with her usual amount of propriety.
“Raphael! her mind screeched into his. The pain was excruciating now and refusing to lessen. Sobs wracked her weak form as she clenched her hands into tight fits and clung fiercely to the floor mat. She did not know whether she spoke the words aloud or in her head or even a combination of the two as she begged anyone who would listen for help. “Help, please...pas Mon Petite Amor...mes dieux, sitoplé. Hurry…”
