Persistence, Patience, and Pride [Goblin!]

[Blink]

Another day had come and gone, the final hours spent compiling reports of simulation data for her Commander. Sidney honestly didn't mind doing it, the task giving her something to pride herself on. The data was valuable, pointing out what each member of the squad was excelling or lacking in. With this information, it made it possible to compile formations and tactics based on the results. Who did better where and in what scenario. With the last piece of information in place, Sid saved the file, removing the drive to deliver to Blu immediately.

Slipping the small device in her pocket Sid left the control room, snagging her jacket and the lights on her way out. As she crept through the halls Sid couldn't help but let her eyes travel into every room with an open door between looks at her Com. Seemed most everyone else had cleared out for the day. Strange how quiet it could get there in contrast to how it was in the middle of the day. Yet at the end of the hall, one room remained illuminated. Of course, she would still be there too.

Poking her head around the doorway Sidney looked in at Blu, her eyes narrowing as she looked for any sign to warn her of the Commander's mood. Trying not to linger too long she drug her knuckles on the door letting out a soft knock before clearing her throat.

"Here is the simulation data for this week. I highlighted and noted areas I thought needed your attention first." Sidney then reached into her pocket, pulling out the small device to set on the edge of Blu's desk.

In Sidney's mind the moment she handed off the data she was officially clocked out for the day. Her body language immediately changing, her shoulders more lax as she sunk into a chair in front of Blu's desk. Again she found herself eyeing the woman, attempting to gauge what kind of mood she would be dealing with today. It wasn't that she thought Blu was mean by any means. She was more worried about how down she would be feeling. What had happened to her was a tragedy, to say the least, and Sidney wished she could just take all the pain Blu was probably feeling away. It was unimaginable the horror she had gone through.

"I think we are the only ones left tonight..." Sidney attempted to spark a conversation, now watching Blu out of the corner of her eye as she typed up a message on her Com.

To Schuyler: Heading out for the day now. How was your day? Weekend plans? Gonna ask her again tonight. Wish me luck!  XP
-xoxo Sid

Just like most nights Sid planned to ask her to join her for dinner but usually that ended with a no. Almost everytime she was shot down since the incident and Sidney was preparing herself for the same fight with all the reasons she should go.

"Maybe we could grab dinner and coffee or something?"  The end of her sentence sounding less confident than the beginning. Which excuse would it be tonight? Too tired, too much work to do, not hungry? She had heard them all before and prepared for another just like them.

[GoblinFae]

It had been a month and things were already back to business. The others had done what they could to pick up their Commander's slack but ultimately the burden of work fell predominantly on her own shoulders. She took her week of sick leave, underwent a psych eval, was cleared for active duty, served her stint of reduced hours at Plague's and Sid's insistence and was back to work as if nothing had changed.

In a way nothing had.

She was still Blu Moon, Pilot Royal, Commander of Angels, war veteran, part-time alcoholic, and part-time insomniac. She still was a woman plodding along through life and hating what she had become. She was still the woman with a closet full of secrets and a few more buried far away on distant red planets.

But also everything had changed.

She was the childless mother. Raphael's physical injuries may have healed, but their hearts were still broken. Yavul, sweet precious coyote-man that he was got his happily ever after surprise ending. Grisham made it home against all the odds. But, Belladonna wasn't going to follow in his footsteps. She wasn't going to live again. She was very much long gone from this world and Blu was not about to disillusion herself into thinking otherwise. That didn't stop the pain and the grief that came with knowing she had failed. Her body had been ill-prepared and ill-equipped for carrying a child. It was a small wonder she had even made it so far along in the pregnancy.

But, Fate and Fortune were cruel taskmasters. If the gods felt you were becoming too cocky and too sure of yourself, they gave you another reason to remember their existence. Blu had gone on long enough without truly acknowledging or thanking them. It really only was a matter of time before they reminded her that they had not forgotten their wayward daughter.

She sighed deeply, her eyes dry and aching from staring at a computer screen for too long when a sudden rap at her door broke her concentration. Wide-eyed and stern, she glanced up to catch Sidney striding in. Blu's expression became guarded as she accepted the report. A flip of her wrist and the data was authorised for viewing. A few keystrokes and she was able to pull it up on her computer to view.

"Viktor's showing rapid improvement," Blu commented offhandedly. "Thank you, Sidney." She continued to scroll through the data, noting the assistant squad leader's suggestions and highlights. The commander was nearly oblivious to her subordinate speaking to her until she caught the tail-end of her sentence.

Blu sat up straight, eyes finally shifting to give Sidney her full attention. How long had the younger woman been asking for her commander to go out with her? Two weeks? Three? She raised her arms above her head, hands locked at the wrist until a satisfying series of pops rang out from her spine and neck.

"Guess it's time t' call in th' sprangers, ya?"

She stood up then, exchanged her lab coat for her sunglasses, and moved around the desk to stand beside the other woman. "Shall we?"

[Blink]

To say she was taken off guard was an understatement. There was no battle of excuses of why and why not like usual. Sid was rendered speechless as Blu came around to stand beside her as if going out to dinner was something they did on the regular.

“Uh... yeah”. Sid jumped out of the chair, stuffing her Com in the front pocket of her jacket in the process.

“So what are you in the mood for? We can go anywhere you want, I'm just starving. I'll even pay.” Deep down Sid was hoping Blu would take into account her vegan diet. She had nothing against going somewhere that served meat, as long as they had a scrumptious salad or more savory vegan options available. However, even if they ended up at a 24-hour barbeque Sid would go, just knowing that Blu had finally said yes.

Ever since the incident, all she could do was worry. It was eerie what kind of bad vibe the whole thing had cast on the Angel's. It was like Blu losing that child took a piece from all of them, and all of them had to adjust to a new kind of normal in the days after. It was expected it took a piece of Blu too, a piece Sid wasn't sure would ever come back. She couldn't imagine the kind of pain Blu had gone through and didn't blame her in the slightest for however she dealt with it. All Sid wanted was for Blu to smile again... a real smile.

Sidney stepped out of the office, checking over her shoulder that Blu was actually following her from time to time. It was taking everything in her not to ask how Blu was feeling today, but in the end, she knew that would only bring the bad vibe back full force.

“So I've started seeing Schuyler a bit more seriously. I don't know if you remember him or not, he's from the Hellions. He came with the group that raided your kitchen and tried to burn it down.” A light chuckle vibrated through her as she recounted the night. “We really hit it off and so far.” In an attempt to make a joke Sidney looked over her shoulder at Blu again. “And he really admires the flexibility it takes for yoga.”

[GoblinFae]

Blu eyed Sidney from the corner of her eye as the pair walked along. She knew the poor girl was trying and that she really hadn't managed to be as accepting of that proffered bond as she probably should have been. Some days though it was just so hard to get up in the morning, to drag her sizeable ass into work, and to be the leader they all needed and wanted her to be. To be Sidney's buddy, to be her friend, and to admit that she was very much not okay was not something Blu could handle these days. Maybe in another lifetime she would have been comfortable with laying down her armor and showing off her still bleeding wounds. But not now, no now all she wanted to do was bandage herself up and hide it all away. She needed to be strong for others and it was easier to hide her own pain and suffering than let them in and let them see just how much of a mess she really was. The only ones who even came close to knowing just how broken she was were likely Plague and Yavul. Even then, they really didn't know just how many secrets she held and kept buried in the deepest parts of herself. If she had her way, they would never know either.

Sidney though deserved so much more than Blu had in her to give. So for now she could give the younger woman her company for dinner simply because she had asked, because she had been asking for a long while now, and because not everything was about Blu. So tonight could be about Sidney and that was okay too.

"You know," she commented softly, "I think I'm actually in the mood for a salad. Know any good places?" Blu looked sideways to Sideny and attempted a small smile. Gods both she was just so tired. When even was the last time she had eaten? Lunch? No, she'd worked through that. Must have been that sad half sandwich for dinner the night before. Damn.

Her brow crinkled as she tried to focus on the rest of what Sidney was saying and not her own rumbling stomach or aching and stiff limbs. "Schuyler...he's th' uh one with th' skullface, yeah? He seemed like a nice kid. Polite and all that." She snorted softly and shook her head at the quip. "Oh cher, I imagine he does. You still teaching them classes then?"