Hooked on a Feeling (Goblin)

[Bunbun]

For the most part, it seemed to Vanessa that the past few months had just... happened to her. Like she was simply an observer, watching herself perform the same daily routine over and over again. It had been quite the emotional roller coaster, with too many ups and downs to count, and at some point she'd more or less started to go on autopilot. At least it was better than letting her emotions rule her and tear her apart from the inside, which would have been a real possibility if it weren't for Alec's guidance. Gods knew where she would be if she didn't have the support of her friends and mentors to keep her sane.

Of course, it wasn't like she could completely block out all of her feelings, even if she wanted to. That would require total control over her psionics, which clearly wasn't something she was able to accomplish just yet. As such, there were a few things that managed to sneak their way through the cracks in the wall she'd built for herself. Every time someone left the ATC, it stirred up some rather... bittersweet feelings inside her, ones that she wasn't sure she should be having. Of course she was glad to see her friends succeed and move on to do great things, but it also felt like each one of them that left was taking a piece of her with them.

At least she could find peace in the fact that she would be able to see all of them again once she graduated. Except for... no. No, no, no. She wasn't going to think about that anymore. It wasn't... good to think about that.

The past little while hadn't all been doom and gloom, however. There always seemed to be new faces showing up at the ATC, and that meant more people to befriend. More people that she could offer her help to, and if necessary, more shoulders to cry on. She desperately wanted to reach out and start putting her empathy to use once again, but right now, she needed kind of push.

Well, it turned out that this push would come fairly soon, although it would come from a rather unlikely source.

A particularly strong surge of emotion made its way into Vanessa's mind, pushing aside whatever thoughts had been running through it at that moment and disrupting her daily routine of walking from class to class without paying much attention to whatever was happening around her. It was a familiar feeling to her, and one that some might argue should be left alone. But what if someone really did need help, and she was supposed to be the one to offer it?

Well, she did have a bit of free time before her next class started. It couldn't hurt to check it out, at least.

The source of the wave of emotion appeared to be a man who was... well, he was a little scary-looking. It wasn't the lizard-like features that made her nervous, but rather the fact that he was practically twice her size and looked like he could probably lift her easily with one hand. Vanessa's instincts urged her to not get involved and just keep on walking, but her heart pleaded for her to stay. Appearances could be deceiving, and what good were her abilities if she wasn't going to use them to their fullest? So, taking a few deep breaths to keep herself calm and clear her mind, the small girl approached the giant of a man.

"Um... excuse me, sir. I don't mean to intrude, but you looked a little down and I wanted to make sure that you're alright. Is there anything I can do to help? Something you're looking for, maybe?"

Of course, she already had a pretty good idea about what was bothering him, but bringing it up right away would probably just make him more uncomfortable... and it would be kinda creepy.

[GoblinFae]

Shale did not consider himself to be an easily flustered man. He worked hard, rolled with the punches, and did his best. At the end of the day that was all he could do, so there was no use in making himself sick with worry over failure. The Harpies were mostly a joy to work with and he was forever grateful he had been gifted with one of the tamer squadrons in comparison to the Ravens or the Valkyries.

Therefore, for the life of him he could not understand why the thought of doing a PR event with Pilot Bloom where she gave a small lecture to some Candidates was so nerve-wracking for him. Well, that was not entirely truthful to himself either. Shale knew why his heart danced a salsa all of its own every time she walked by.

She was smart and funny and earnest and kind and-...Shale caught himself in his thoughts before he became too distracted. Pilot Noble Royal Bloom, Combat Medic of the Harpies was too good to be true. She was dreams made real. Whenever he saw her, Shale could not help but want to hold her close. But, the moment he tried to open his mouth it was as if his tongue had gone lame. All ability to speak would flee out the nearest window so that he was left unable to do anymore than smile and make a hasty exit.

It was only moments like this, where she was otherwise occupied and unable to notice him, that Shale felt safe enough to let his guard down a little bit. He listened from the back of the lecture hall as Royal passionately discussed some of the things she did as a Harpy. He could have listened to her talk forever. Blessed Fire was not so kind though. His com pulsed in his hand, forcing Shale to bow out take the call.

By the time it was finished, he felt his thoughts drifting back to Pilot Bloom. It would be rude to pop back in and cause a commotion. The last thing he needed was to bring more attention to himself. He was already an imposing figure with his height and size without causing a fuss going in and out. His luck, he would enter and get another call.

He sighed, resting his head back a wall and feeling his own frustration poking at the surface. If only he wasn't such little mouse about talking to Royal. Perhaps if he spoke with her his little crush could die and she could go on to be happy with someone who suited her far better than he did.

Shale snapped back to reality and attention at the sound of a young and gentle voice. He smiled tightly, careful to keep his face from splitting in two with how large his grin could get. No teeth showed and his ears only moved ever so slightly as he nodded his head back in greeting.

"Thank you for asking, yes I am fine. I'm waiting for a Pilot to finish her engagement. I'm sorry for being in your way. I did not mean to take up the whole hall," he stated, standing up a bit straighter, his tall stilling behind him as he did so.

"How are you today, Candidate...?"

[Bunbun]

It was probably a good thing that Shale decided to keep his mouth from opening up too much. If Vanessa wasn't already a bit nervous around him, then seeing him do something like that would definitely do it. As far as she could tell, though, he didn't have any intention of doing her harm, which was admittedly kind of a relief. It definitely made her more comfortable talking to him.

"Candidate Corriveau, sir," she replied, returning his smile and giving him a quick salute. It wouldn't do not to show a Pilot the proper respect, especially not when she was trying to make a good first impression. "And I am well! Mostly. Maybe a little stressed out, but nothing too out of the ordinary."

Okay, maybe that was a lie. She wasn't doing that well, but now was hardly the time to dwell on that. Right now, she needed to do what she could to help someone else- maybe then she could start to feel better about her own situation.

While Shale might not have exactly been clear about which Pilot he was waiting for, it wasn't too difficult to figure out who it was. The Harpies were well known for their presentations at the ATC, and she'd picked up on some chatter earlier about Pilot Noble Royal Bloom being scheduled to visit today. Come to think of it, Royal was also a Kulshedra, wasn't she? And considering that the species had a tendency to be on the possessive side... this might be something more than just a little crush.

"You get to work with the Harpies? That must be pretty great! I mean, they're all so cool, and strong, and brave..." she glanced over at the door to the room where the presentation was being held, then back at Shale. "...I hope you don't mind me being curious, but do you ever get to spend time with any of them? Outside of work, I mean."

[GoblinFae]

He continued to smile and bobbed his head once more in greeting. "It gets easier eventually," he offered gently. Candidacy had a way of kicking ass and taking names until it seemed it either broke you or you came into your own. From what he had been told it was in a way like puberty it just unfortunately happened all at once for humans so that they had double the trouble and strife.

"Yes," he said a bit hesitantly. "I suppose I do work with them. And they really are amazing." A prideful warmth filled his breath as he thought of his squad, of Izzy and Cinnamon and Royal. His heartbeat quickened and his cheeks flushed slightly before his brows furrowed and he tilted his head at the young candidate.

"I suppose I do but not really. Pilot Henning-Rook is my cousin. We see each other often enough. I think you'll find Candidate Corriveau once you're a Pilot that there really are a lot of us out there. Even your coworkers can end up being nothing more than acquaintances. There's just so much to do and so many people with so little time.

"So, what are you currently studying?"

[Bunbun]

Vanessa's strongest psionic ability may have been empathy, but she hardly needed to use it to interpret Shale's reaction this time around- his brief change of facial expression was pretty much a dead giveaway to what he was feeling. It helped to confirm her theory about what exactly was going on with him, but his actual answer didn't didn't give her much to work with. It was interesting to learn that he was related to Cinnamon, sure, but he hadn't left her much room to continue that line of questioning, and she couldn't help but frown a little.

"What am I studying? Um, well, my next class is on psionic theory. I guess there's a lot of Candidates who think it's really difficult or boring, but to tell the truth... I'm actually really enjoying it so far. I think it's interesting to learn about, but maybe that's just me. Speaking of my next class, though..."

Around them, the hallways of the ATC were beginning to come to life. Candidates of all stages chattered amongst themselves as they made their way to their next scheduled classes, and the murmuring coming from the nearest classroom indicated that Pilot Noble Royal Bloom was just about finished with her demonstration.

“…I should probably get going if I want to get to class on time. If I could share how I feel, though… I think if you really want to grow closer with someone, you should do what you can to try and make that happen. Making plans, sending a few messages… it doesn’t have to be anything too crazy, just enough to show that you care. And maybe that won’t always work out in the end, and maybe you will just end up as acquaintances, but maybe you won’t. I think the best thing to do is to take that chance when it presents itself, because… well, I’ve learned that it can easily slip away if you don’t take it.”

Vanessa’s frown deepened a little, but she caught herself this time and quickly reset back to a neutral expression. Her attention was completely directed towards Shale, waiting for him to either offer a response or simply dismiss her- the latter may not have been strictly necessary, but it was certainly impolite to walk away from a Pilot who wasn’t finished speaking with you.

[GoblinFae]

Shale nodded his head as he listened, remembering his own days as a Candidate and the long hours that had come from hard work and study. His own eyes shifted to scan the filling halls before he nodded his head again. "Run along then, Candidate Corriveau and don't be late," he urged her gently while moving to step and press back against the wall again and out of her way. "Keep up your hard work and it won't be long before you're a fine Pilot yourself."

He abstained from commenting on her opinion though. While he would not damn her for being so bold, he also did not feel it was his place to encourage such behaviour. Candidacy was so hard, he didn't need to be crushing what spirit that still survived in the next generation of soldiers.

Her words stuck with him though. Young, she may have been and oh so sweet and naive. But, there were pearls of truth in her suggestions. If you let people slip away then you would end up alone. You had to make efforts to keep people close just as they did. A relationship, a friendship, a family, it took at least two people to make it happen and none of those things would ever happen if he didn't take the time to put his own actions into motion.

He made a mental note to message his cousins for dinner. He hadn't seen the cutest button in existence, Almond in ages it felt like. He loved the little pyromaniac and Deego likely could use a break from fatherhood for an hour or two. And Cinna was newly married so of course Soba would be invited. Those two always had a way of making a room feel small with their affection for each other. It was a good sight to see.

As the last students trickled out of the auditorium, Shale quietly slipped back in. There were a handful of students still talking with Royal, their faces bright and questioning. His own face lit up without his knowing, his ears perking up and his tail wagging gently behind him.

Bells chimed the time to be in class and all too soon the young future Pilots were scattering out the door leaving the pair of Kulshedra alone. "It seems you're still the ATC favourite, Pilot Bloom."