Ever since that lovely wake up call, Shiloh had been pissed.
It wasn't just that Pilot Tierney had burst in on him in bed with Finaa and Christian, oh no. That was bad enough. That was mortifying enough. But no, it had to be taken that extra step further, that extra step that sent him over the edge from embarrassed to infuriated and left him steaming for days afterward. If that was all it was, he would have been horrified at being outed like that--but now he didn't care.
That was nothing compared to being accused of raping his best friend.
That had left him feeling sick and angry in a way that few things did and he didn't know how to express that. It left him feeling tentative around Finaa, because what if? He never wanted her to feel pressured--and yet what if he had? After how he'd snapped, after what he'd done in that classroom...
No, he'd never hurt Finaa. He never wanted to hurt her. It would kill him if he ever did and the times they slept together after that had been rough because he'd felt nervous, like he couldn't trust himself, like maybe he made her. He'd been extra gentle, extra cautious, had checked and double-checked that she really wanted it because he'd rather just sleep beside her if she was even a little lukewarm.
It was difficult to bounce back from something like that when it hit so close to home and so close to the truth.
After he had a few days to cool down, though, the sickness eased up and left only anger. He would never hurt Finaa--and he couldn't just let the accusation sit. People could think what they wanted about him and he didn't care, but this was different. This he did care about.
Finaa was one of the few things in his life that truly mattered.
Shiloh found Gabriel on the flight deck atop the Citadel as he was on his way to visit Amaranth. The other Pilot had just dismounted his own dragon and was heading for the changing room without acknowledging him, but Shiloh made him.
He cut Gabriel off, moving to block the other Pilot's path and standing his ground doggedly. Gabriel opened his mouth to speak but Shiloh was faster.
"Now you listen and listen good," he said, and the tone of his voice got Gabriel's attention, made him snap his mouth shut. Shiloh spoke slowly, deliberately, as opposed to his usual quick, slurred manner. He met Gabriel's eyes and held them. He wanted every word to count and didn't want there to be any room for confusion.
He'd had time to think about this--and he didn't give many things much thought.
"I want you to know something. I would never, ever hurt Finaa. Ever," he said, carefully enunciating each word and pausing to let that sink in--and give himself time to think of what to say next. "She's my best friend in all the world. I want her happy. I want good things for her. I would kill for her and I would die for her. Fuck, I'd kill myself before I hurt her."
He took a deep breath, fingers curling into fists. It was difficult getting the words out; he was never good with this shit, much better with just punching the problem away. This just wasn't one of those problems.
"You understand? I love her. A lot. More than anything. I'd never hurt her. So..." He stifled a frustrated sound, not quite sure where to go with what he was saying. "So I really don't like you saying I would!" he finished.
That said, he was done. He moved around Gabriel then and crossed the space for Amaranth, leaving the other Pilot staring after him.
