Author Topic: Dubya tee eff, mate. [Rina!] (Read 6428 times)

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #40 on:** July 26, 2011, 11:09:35 am »

"I made myself a target," Gabriel answered simply, voice detached, "so I got targeted. Look, it's just like when you're a Pilot, you don't go into a mission wearing fucking neon and not expect to get shot."

Anonymous · « **Reply #41 on:** July 26, 2011, 11:11:36 am »

Finaa stared at Gabe, then suddenly reached out, hugging him tightly, his face cuddled against her chest, one hand stroking his back, the other against his head, "Oh Gabriel. No. That isn't true at all! No one asks to be bullied. Standing up for yourself or being extroverted doesn't make you a target Gabe! You didn't deserve that, ever. No one does."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #42 on:** July 26, 2011, 11:25:44 am »

"Of-fucking-course no one asks for it!" Gabriel snapped, prying himself free, not at all comfortable with this conversation or the contact. Even though so far this conversation had been kept broad, safe, and generic, it was still creeping far too close to sensitive areas that he did not want exposed.

He leaned his arms on the table, body angled away from hers slightly. "But you might as well be. It's not about what you want or what you ask for, Finaa, it's about actions and reactions and knowing your enemy. It's the same deal." He shook his head. "If I had done things differently, it probably wouldn't have been a problem. But I don't know when to quit, so they didn't, either."

Anonymous · « **Reply #43 on:** July 26, 2011, 11:27:38 am »

"Oh bullshit! That's not true and you know it. They chose to bully you and that doesn't mean you did something to deserve it. No one ever deserves to be hurt like that. Raley and the others are responsible for what they do, not you."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #44 on:** July 26, 2011, 11:34:30 am »

Gabriel grimaced at the mention of Raley's name and kept his eyes averted, looking at the table instead of Finaa and rolling his shoulders to try and work out the knot that had formed between them. This conversation had come about as far as he was willing to take it; he didn't like how vulnerable even admitting this much made him feel.

He let out a breath and shook his head. "It really doesn't matter anymore," he said, then pushed himself to his feet and stretched, worked to regain his composure. "What matters is your break's up. Finish up your juice and let's get back to it, yeah?"

Anonymous · « **Reply #45 on:** July 26, 2011, 11:36:06 am »

"It does matter Gabe." Finaa stood, setting her juice down, "And pretending it doesn't will only make it worse. How many more people do you want to hurt over this? I'm your friend, I love you and I'm here for you. You don't have to do this on your own. Anymore than I have to handle my pain on my own."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #46 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:02:21 pm »

"I know," Gabriel said, intentionally vague. He knew she was his friend and cared about him, but the rest? What was done was done and he was fine with it staying that way, in the past instead of being dredged up like this. This was already way too much and he was done talking about it.

"What also matters is working on those shields of yours, so show me whatcha got."

Anonymous · « **Reply #47 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:06:56 pm »

"The subject isn't over." Finaa gave Gabe a long look before heading back to the center of the room, pulling up her shields. She would wait and be as patient as she needed to be.

It had been a few weeks after Gabe's apology and Finaa hadn't dropped the subject. It was eating Gabe alive, that raw pain. Just because it was buried far out of sight didn't mean the damage wasn't being done.

She sat on the edge of her bed, watching Gabe, dark brown eyes sad, "Come on Gabe. I'm not letting this go. You need to talk about this with someone."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #48 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:18:39 pm »

Gabriel had come to pick Finaa up for more shield training, ready to lead her back to the classroom--but of course, it couldn't be that easy. With a groan, Gabriel leaned heavily against the door frame, the side of his head thumping lightly against it. She'd been hounding him about this since their argument, for weeks, and though he shut it down each and every time, she still hadn't backed the fuck off.

It was easy to go about his life not thinking about it when he didn't have someone prodding at it every second, just like how it was easy to ignore a bruise until it was being poked. And just like with a bruise, it hurt the most the first few times, but after a while you just...got worn down. Resigned.

He heaved a sigh, took a second to collect himself and rein in the wave of irritation and anger, and opened his eyes again. "Alright. Fine. I'll talk to someone about it," he said. "Now let's get going."

Anonymous · « **Reply #49 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:20:34 pm »

"Don't lie to me Gabriel. I don't deserve that." Finaa didn't move, staring Gabe right in the eye, "You are holding it all in and that isn't healthy. I'm your friend Gabe, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to listen to you, help you. Please."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #50 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:28:57 pm »

That was enough to make Gabriel finally snap.

"Dammit, Finaa!" His fist struck the door frame, knuckles stinging from the impact, but he didn't notice. He shoved off from the door and paced inside her room. "What the fuck do you want me to say? What do you wanna hear? What'll make you just fucking drop it?"

Anonymous · « **Reply #51 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:30:17 pm »

"I want to hear what happened to you. That's made you so angry." Finaa flinched when Gabe punched the wall, but she tried to hide it. He was a little scary like that. Normally Finaa trusted Gabe utterly, but when he got mad, he tended to do things he would regret later.

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #52 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:32:15 pm »

"I already told you," Gabriel snapped. "What do you want now? Details?"

Anonymous · « **Reply #53 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:34:43 pm »

"YES! Because something has obviously hurt you badly enough that you think you can lash out and hurt the people around you. It's hurt you enough that you think it's fine to drag me down a hallway for a fucking rape kit because I slept with two people!"

Finaa was standing now, body tense, her expression stubborn.

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #54 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:37:30 pm »

"It's not because you slept with two people. It's because you slept with rapists!" Gabriel shot back. "What was I supposed to think? That they didn't force you into it?"

Anonymous · « **Reply #55 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:39:19 pm »

"Maybe! Considering that one of them is my best friend and I'm perfectly capable of saying no and backing it up! You've seen that first hand!" Finaa took a deep breath, calming herself down, "And that isn't the point Gabe. The point is you are hurt and lashing out at anyone that happens to poke the wound. Please just talk to me. I'm your friend and I want to help."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #56 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:44:05 pm »

Gabriel took a deep breath, scrubbing a hand over his face and through his hair. She was impossible. And why the hell did it have to keep coming back to that? Heaving a sigh, he shook his head. "Like I said, I was bullied. It happened. It's done. And there's nothing anyone can do about it now. Learn from it and get over it, y'know? I haven't let anyone push me around since and that's all I can do. Alright?"

Anonymous · « **Reply #57 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:46:30 pm »

"You aren't learning from it you ass! You are repressing it until it explodes all over someone!" Finaa crossed her arms under her chest, chin set in a firm line, "You need to talk about it, start healing the wound."

Rhi-Rhi · « **Reply #58 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:54:01 pm »

Some of the tension seemed to drain out of Gabriel then, but it wasn't so much that he was relaxed; it was more that now, after that burst of anger, and after having it continuously prodded at, he was just starting to feel...tired. Deep inside, he knew Finaa was right; he knew he was lashing out at her, knew she didn't deserve it, and yet he didn't know how else to deal with it.

Because talking about it? Confronting that? That just wasn't an option.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned his back against the wall. "I just don't want that to happen to anyone else," he muttered. "I already fucked up with one candidate. You don't deserve it, either."

Anonymous · « **Reply #59 on:** July 26, 2011, 01:55:41 pm »

"We aren't talking about me. We're talking about you and your hurt." Finaa moved a little closer, reaching out and lightly touching one of Gabe's arms, "Pretending it didn't happen and that everything is fine doesn't work forever Gabriel. Please. What happened that made you so hurt and angry?"

Author Topic: Dubya tee eff, mate. [Rina!] (Read 6428 times)

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