Dubya tee eff, mate. [Rina!]

[Rhi-Rhi]

"I mean...like..." He wasn't quite sure how to put it into words. It was a more of a feeling. "Like...when people obviously don't care what I feel about it. And just think it's funny and to just get over it and get a good dicking. You know? It's a gross feeling."

[Anonymous]

Finaa nodded, "Yes, I'm familiar with that feeling. You shouldn't be feeling that with someone you care about and cares about you. What do you think might help you feel more in control then? To know that you have the power."

[Rhi-Rhi]

"I...don't really know." Gabriel grimaced. "I mean, like, I can do stupid stuff and it's alright when I do that. But..." He made a frustrated sound. "I guess if I trusted them. But I wouldn't be doing that with someone I didn't trust to begin with. I guess it's the old 'haven't found the right person' deal."

[Anonymous]

"Does that mean you don't trust me?" It was a simple, honest question. Finaa would understand if he didn't, but she was curious. She had thought he did, but maybe just didn't trust her enough.

[Rhi-Rhi]

"Huh? What? No. No. I trust you." Gabriel blinked in surprise. "I mean, shit, Finaa. I've told you this much, haven't I? I mean--jeez, where'd that even come from?"

[Anonymous]

"Well, you freaked out when I offered to sleep with you." Finaa shrugged, "I was just wondering what would help you feel better and more in control with you do sleep with someone. What do you think would help you feel in control of the situation?"

[Rhi-Rhi]

"What? I trust a lot of people but that doesn't mean I wanna sleep with them," Gabriel said, blinking in confusion. "My BFF, brother from another mother, I trust him with my life, but I don't wanna have sex with him..."

He leaned back in his chair, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. "I guess...knowing it can stop."

[Anonymous]

"Okay. Thank you for telling me this stuff. You aren't as broken as you think you are Gabe. You just...have some very tender scars that need to be handled delicately." Finaa leaned against the table, "Why don't you try it with me? We can go as slow as you need to, stop any time. And I don't have to look anything like me. A safe space to confront your fears."

[Rhi-Rhi]

There it was again. Gabriel felt his stomach tighten. "Uhhh..." There were so many things wrong with that, he didn't even know where to start, though at least this time she didn't come on so strong. It didn't elicit the knee-jerk panic of the last several times though he still was not okay with that.

His mouth moved but no words came out as he tried, and failed several times, to get his thoughts in order enough to speak. What did you even say to that? "Uhh...that's...thanks? But--I don't--" He made an incredulous sound. "I...can't do that."

[Anonymous]

"Why not? Just...wondering. I mean, we're friends, right? And I know it can't be physical because, well, I can look like anyone." Finaa lowered her gaze, face a little red at getting rejected. It stung a little, but it would be kind of nice to know what was wrong with her.

[Rhi-Rhi]

"It's...it's because we are friends. Finaa...you're like a sister to me. A little sister. Family." Gabriel took a deep breath. "I...it's nothing against you. I mean...like I said, I wouldn't sleep with Alaric, either. Even if I wasn't so fucked up."

[Anonymous]

"How come? What's wrong with letting me help you. I care about you and want to help. It's not like I'm asking you to bend me over the table. You have a problem and I can help you with it." Finaa shrugged her shoulders, "Who better to sleep with than someone you care about and trust?"

[Rhi-Rhi]

"I just told you! I don't want to!" Gabriel said, patience starting to wear threadbare. This was starting to go a place he didn't want to go and it was starting to freak him out. He'd already said he didn't want to; how many more times would he have to? "It's nothing against you. It's not a slight. There's nothing wrong with...with wanting to help. I care about you. I trust you. I don't want to sleep with you."

[Anonymous]

"Alright. I was just trying to understand. Sorry." Finaa shrugged again, looking down, "Sorry."

[Rhi-Rhi]

Gabriel took a deep breath to rein in his frustration and upset and another to lock it all back away, compose himself--which was difficult, because he didn't know how to handle this and it had thrown him off balance, crossing boundaries in a completely different way. And he was just ]i]tired[/i] now, hardly even had it in him to feel much of anything except fatigued and drained and empty.

He raked a hand through his hair. "I know. It's alright."

It was his fault, anyway.

[Anonymous]

"I'm just-I'm sorry." Finaa kept her eyes down, stomach in knots. She had just been stupid, thought there was more of a bond between them. Gabe wasn't that close to her, he was just being her mentor and she was being selfish and prying.

"Do I have permission to leave Sir?"

[Rhi-Rhi]

Gabriel gave a small shrug. "You don't have anything to be sorry for," he said, and at her question he nodded. There was no point in keeping her. They'd gone over what they needed to, and the way things were now...they wouldn't be getting anything else done, anyway.

"Yeah. You're good to go."

[Anonymous]

Finaa saluted, then took off, face flushed and feeling stupid and ashamed. She should have known! Idiot! She was just going to have to remember to not be so close to Ga-Pilot Tierney in the future. He was just a mentor, that was all.