One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater!

[Anonymous]

Pushing his hand through his slowly growing hair Vaughan looked down at the music player in his hand. It was his, so there were unreleased IF tracks on it, maybe if they got enough fans they could do one of those celebratory releases. For now, they lived on one of the computers at home, in the IF members heads and on Vaughans music player. He’d lend it to Nika. He’d since lost the wrap around his throat, unbuttoning the top button of his uniform, show off the scar.

His choice. Hold his head high, show off the scar, proof they couldn’t break him. Losing the one thing he had left to really cling to - his voice - he was a little more devil may care. Didn’t talk back to people anymore, couldn’t really, kept most of his thoughts in check. Vaughan rarely made Vaughan faces anymore, only around a few people. More often than not he had a drawn blank expression now.

Vaughan put a big smile on his face for Nika though, he didn’t know exactly why he was in the infirmary, maybe got his arm broken. Punched in the face? Heard something about getting beaten up by a Pilot, but little more than that. He was on his way now, down the hall, right outside the room and Vaughan looked down at the music player in his hand, clutching it before taking a breath and putting a smile on his face, pressing the button to open the door.

The sight almost made him drop the music player, he gasped and stared for a moment before sobering up walking in and sitting sideways on the bed and holding out the music player before placing it on what Vaughan figuered to be his leg under the covers.

Heya Niiks. I brought you some tunes from the band I was in. The music player is mine so you can’t lose it!

Vaughan stared, blinking slowly. An eyepatch. Half his face was bruised or... Vaughan didn’t even know what happened to him. Should he ask? Would it be rude?

Nika, what happened to your face?

[Anonymous]

Being stuck in a hospital room was intensely boring. He didn't have many visitors, few people even knew who he was. Not that he really wanted company. But sitting in bed, staring at a wall got old.

His book had been read and reread. A nurse had given him paper and a pencil, but he was having problems with his lack of depth perception. It was throwing his art off, and while he could get over it in time, right now it frustrated him.

But Vaughan was coming. Nika had felt him down the hall, the sweet call of his blood. So when the singer entered, Nika's eye was glued to the door. He stared at Vaughan, not blinking, not moving. The boy's response amused Nika for some reason.

His attention changed to the music player and he reached down to pick it up, "Thank you. I haven't really heard much of your music." Nika didn't really listen to music that much anyway, but he was willing to listen to Vaughan's.

The question got another smile from Nika's, "I guess I made the wrong Pilot angry. One of them got upset with me. I don't really know why. But he smacked me around a little, then beat my head into a door." His remaining eye was back on Vaughan's face, watching his reaction, "My cheek bone shattered and I lost my eye."

He waved a hand and the papers he had hurled away from the bed, covered in rough sketches, "I can't seem to draw anything. It comes out wrong."

[Anonymous]

Vaughan smiled, since chuckling and laughing ending up sounding like noiseless sobs of pain.

Not many people have heard my band. We were almost popular... but then I got kidnapped by the big bad Pilots. So that dream’s crashed for me now. It’s okay if you don’t like it. I know we’re odd.

The red-head gave a shrug before Nika went on to tell him about what happened to his face and he stood up off the bed and stared. Smacked him around? Beat his head into a door? That’s what these glorious pilots were? Vaughan’s face turned into a deep frown and his hands clenched. That’s what they were going to turn him into? Someone who beats on kids? He swallowed before he watched Nika.

Maybe it was a good thing he was so detached. Anyone else losing an eye... Wouldn’t be acting so normal about it. Vaughan moved his fingers to press them against the scar on his throat before looking down at the papers on the floor and brightening up. It took a few counts to ten before he calmed himself down enough to crouch down to pick up the paper without doing more damage to it.

Sick Pilots. Horrible people. Vaughan was bound and determined to use this as an example of what to grow away from. Anger. Hate. Fear. Amber eyes looked towards Nika again and Vaughan closed his eyes before coming up with a bright smile and standing besides Nika’s head.

Sit up and shove-a-bum!

Even as Vaughan thought this he took off his shoes and wedged himself between Nika and the head of the bed. Once either leg was on either side of Nika he placed the papers in front of him and retrieved the pencil from the bed-side table.

Even if it comes out wrong, we can blame it on me, right?

[Anonymous]

"I probably wouldn't have heard it anyway. I don't listen to a lot of music." Nika watched Vaughan. He didn't really know what was going through the other boys head. Which only made him feel more frustrated. His one eye focused on Vaughan's face, reaching out, "What's wrong? Are you upset about something?"

The shove-a-bum comment cause Nika to blink, confused at what the other boy meant for a moment. Then understanding dawned and he moved over, making room for Vaughan, "I've never heard that before."

It was hard to think with Vaughan this close. Nika could feel his blood racing through him. So close. Nika leaned closer, nuzzling his face against Vaughan's neck for a moment, enjoying the touch, breathing in his scent.

"Blame what? Are you going to try and draw?" The pictures were mostly of caterpillars going through the cocoon process. Melting into go and growing back into a butterfly, "I wanted to do a set. Of the process. But I can't get them right."

[Anonymous]

Well, you have now!

Vaughan said cheerfully, or thought cheerfully, positioning his chest against Nika’s back and wrapping his arms to the front to move easier. Who draws with their arms off to the side? Who draws with them around someone, too. Vaughan frowned for a minute, then blinked and tried to look down at Nika who was nuzzling at his neck. Hello distraction.

The red head cleared his throat and smirked. His mouth fell open and a hissing breath happened before he closed his eyes and spoke using telepathy.

Well, yeah. Your depth perception is off. You’ll probably draw funny until you get used to it. We’ll draw a big pretty butterfly.

A flash of a grin and Vaughan snagged whatever paper was nearby and placed it in front of them before he pushed the pencil into Nika’s hand and grabbed that. Pushing the pencil against the paper to make a nice curved line, the start of a wing.

I’m more artistic than I am a fighter. I wasn’t made for...

Vaughan looked around the room, the doorway that lead to hell. Well, a deeper part of hell. They were in hell no matter where they went.

This stuff. C’mon! Help me draw?

[Anonymous]

Nika sat on the bed, watching Vaughan. His face was blank, not bothering to fake an expression for Vaughan. He didn't really feel like it, and well, right then he was tired of pretending. He was tired of feeling so frustrated and confused and unable to understand humans.

Settling against the pillows, his dark coloring a start contrast to the sterile whiteness of the room, his one eye on the paper, "Yes. It's hard to judge distance now. I don't like it, but I suppose I'll get used to it." He didn't fight when Vaughan took the pencil, "I suppose we can just do the butterfly. I was going to send it to my sister."

Sending her something beautiful might be interesting. Who knew what she would make of that. She was probably a mess with out him around, though Nika wondered if part of her was relieved. Maybe he should send her a letter with the picture.

"I wasn't made for anything." Nika grinned, "I was a mistake, incomplete. I am just a monster." His own hand closed over Vaughan's, holding the pencil and making a gentle curve on the paper, "Why are you here Vaughan?"

[Anonymous]

Vaughan reached a hand up and pressed it gently to nika’s head, pushing his hair back before resting his chin on his shoulder. Curious. Nika had a family? With the way he acted Vaughan had assumed he was an orphan, or hated the world. Or something. Vaughan let his head drop slightly, hair slipping to cover his face. For such a miserable dark person, Nika had it light years better than he did.

I didn’t know you had a sister.

he commented quietly, looking away.  

Then Nika spoke again, and once the curve was on the page Vaughan’s face grew dark. He wanted his voice back. Everything was so much more powerful with a voice. Nothing but a monster.  A mistake.

That’s all you ever try to be! Damnit, Niiks. Pretending won’t turn you into a normal person. Take some freaking meds, stop... Pretending and start being. You like I liked being beaten by my own dad for being some bastard child he didn’t want? Do you? I left there. I ran away. I wanted to be more than some unwanted burden. I changed the god damn environment and then I got picked up by my family. All you ever do is... is.. Sit around and mope. Whine. Study people and their expressions, try to get feelings and understand them from cheap romance novels and play with your creepy Pilot who just encourages your bullshit.

Vaughan didn’t move, but his knuckles were white again, his face was dark. He wanted to yell and rant and rave.  

You like being a monster. If you didn’t you’d get help from someone. Real help. And I’m here because you need a friend. And I’m a friend.

The red head didn’t turn to move, he sat there with Nika, his head turned slightly, looking away. Obviously a little mad. Nika, who Vaughan could only guess grew up with so much more than he had, was so much worse off. His amber gaze was cold as it stared at the floor, obviously not a happy camper at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Nika's hand never stopped drawing on the page. It was a little rough, not at all his best work, but a wing was starting to appear on the page, His facial expression never changed, blank and calm, "Yes. I have a sister. A mother and a father too. They never beat me, in face, when my mother bothered to be home, so doted on the two of us."

The wing grew and a body started to appear as well, fat and dark, "I suppose I had a wonderful childhood. I was not made Vaughan. You are broken because someone broke you." His gaze shifted then, watching the other boy, "I suppose broken it the wrong word to describe me. I was never whole." He shrugged, looking back at the page and continued to sketch, "I don't know how to do any of the things you just suggested. How exactly do I be?"

His voice was still even, calm, almost bored. He could feel the frustration building and he didn't want to give into it, "I am not like you, I don't feel things Vaughan. There is nothing wrong with my family, but, well, I don't care about them. If they all died today, I wont miss them." He grinned then, giving a short laugh, still sketching out the swirling butterfly, "Do I like being a monster? Yes, I suppose I do. As much as I like anything. Do I watch people together and wonder what that is like? To be able to care about someone, to be like everyone else? Yes, I do."

The anger and frustration was building. So many things he didn't know how to say, how to express. No one understood him. He had thought Vaughan was like him, had that darkness inside him as well. Not even Llyn really understood, because Llyn didn't wonder what it was like to be human. "Really. If you know so much, then you tell me. How do I fix what I am?"

[Anonymous]

[ <_< Super emo post ahoy ]

The idea that Nika had always been like this sort of made Vaughan want to cry. How... Could someone be missing something so vital? Jealousy rose up Vaughans throat, his shoulders shook and he just stared at the ground. He felt... Alone. Vaughan rubbed the heel of his hand against his eye and slowly moved off of the bed, listening still, starting at the floor. How unfair was this? Nika who couldn’t feel anything got... Everything.

The red head was usually an easy going kid, even if his father beat him he’d be docile, do what he told him to like a good little boy. Vaughan craved what Nika had in abundance. Vaughan wanted love and affection from the person who raised him. When he figured out it was impossible to get it from that source he left, found it somewhere else, his new family. The family he had to leave behind.

Silently he stood, but hands to his eyes, breathing quietly. Listening. It wasn’t fair. If they all died today he wouldn’t miss them. The idea of Pari or Jace or Jares or... Anyone he knew dying made him sad. Vaughan sucked his lower lip into his mouth and lowered a hand to hold the bottom of his uniform jacket. His amber eyes were wet, and he took in a big gulp of air.

At first it was pity he felt for Nika. Pity and a sense of kinship, someone else who might just not be able to look through the darkness. A poor broken boy who ... wanted to feel... Be like everyone else. Now it was jealousy, anger, rage. This person who enjoyed being a soulless husk, simply curious about all these things he was missing out on. Vaughan lifted his head and stared at Nika for a moment before he crumpled to the ground, his knees hitting first and his hands moving to his face, his shoulders racked with sobs before he stood up again and stomped towards Nika’s bed, grabbing the papers and throwing them across the room.

“That isn’t fair! This isn’t fair! Why are you, some spoiled rotten rich kid in here with a missing eye, not caring!? Your parents dotted on you, your sister probably misses you, and what do I have? A.. A... Mismatched adopted family that I’ll probably never get to see again.” Tears dripped down his cheeks, he was physically speaking so his voice was breathy and raspy, more like choked on air than words. “You don’t deserve any of that! You can’t even appreciate any of it for what it is. Do I mean nothing to you? You rape me and yet I’m standing here? Trying to cheer you up? When you don’t even know how to do something as simple as that?”

His hands quickly went up to his face to wipe at his eyes as he crumbled again, sitting on the ground with his head down, shoulders shaking with the occasional soundless sob. “This isn’t fair!” Vaughan took a few minutes to catch himself before he looked around the room, frowning at the papers before getting up and collecting them, slowly, uncrumpling the papers he’d grabbed too hard.

Sorry for ruining your drawings. I... I’m sorry.

After his mini freak out, Vaughan just felt awkward and mean. His head was down still, his eyes half closed. Quickly he snuck a look at Nika, his eyes still a little wet.

[Anonymous]

Nika watched Vaughan stand up, his face blank and pretty, half covered by the bandages. He could tell something had changed for the redhead, but he didn't understand what it was. When Vaughan grabbed his discarded art work, his one eye narrowed.

"Fair? Fair?! You think I asked to be like this? I was born without a soul." Nika was angry now, one of the few emotions he knew well. His hands curled into fists against the sheets, "So what if I have a family? I can't love them! I can't even like them! Nothing means anything to me! Oh, poor little Vaughan. You found love and it's just not enough for you."

The small boy leaned forward, teeth pulled back in disgust, "I am afraid of my own mind! That the darkness inside me is all that I am and will one day devour me. I don't care about anything and more then anything I wish that it bothered me more then it does. I am always on the outside, watching people live around me and it means nothing to me!"

Nika was breathing heavy, nails biting into his palms hard enough to draw blood, "The fact that I raped you should mean something. I do not like people Vaughan. Sex doesn't interest me. You did and I am so twisted inside I don't know how to express that. And I don't care. I don't lose sleep over what I did to you and I would do it again."

He leaned over the edge of the bed, grabbing Vaughan's chin and jerking the boys head up, "Nothing is ever fair. I was born a monster. You were born a victim. I might just read my stupid books, but at least I am trying. What have you done but mope and cry?"

Nika ran his thumb over the boys lower lip, "Do you think your life would have been better with my family? Maybe you should meet my sister. She is not happy." Nika smiled then, though it didn't really reach his one eye, "Instead of screaming at me, why not just be happy that you can cry."

[Anonymous]

Startled, Vaughan dropped the pictures before reaching and grabbing them again. The one thing he wasn’t expecting back was an out burst. Vaughan didn’t know Nika could do that. He stared, wide eyed at Nika from his spot on the ground, mouth hanging open slightly. Now Vaughan felt a little bit like an ass, he listened.

Nika could feel anger, and fear... At least, he knew what they were. Vaughans mind whirled and he closed his eyes for a brief moment before looking up again. He recoiled when Nika admitted that he’d do that again without a second thought. Vaughan was looking away when a hand was on his chin was forced up and he looked up at Nika, staring at his eye.

At Nika’s words, Vaughan felt his lip tremble and his eyes start to water. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stared before closing his eyes, tears trailing off the side of his face as he took a breath. What had he ever done but mope and cry? Vaughan had been doing just that when Jace found him. The hyper active red head was him, but it was the extreme Vaughan, the one he wanted to be, tried to be. Out going, friendly.

The thumb over his lips drew his attention back and he stared before licking his lips. Just be happy he could cry? Vaughan stood up and pulled Nika’s head against his chest gently, pulling the other boy into a hug while he curled over top of him and cried again, fingers playing with Nika’s hair. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t help you, I want to, I want you to be able to cry and really smile besides that fake creepy one you do.” Vaughan figurered rambling while getting the top of Nika’s head wet with tears was a good idea, “No one else thinks it’s creepy, but I do. So much about you is creepy, or wrong. I hope you never try to make a sexy face.”

“There must be a you in there.” Vaughan ran his hand through Nika’s hair again. “A real you, with all a whole bunch of emotionie colours instead of just the reds and blacks.” Vaughan licked his lips and pushed his sleeve over his eyes before stepping back, putting his hands on Nika’s shoulders and leaning down to stare at him in the eyes. “One day. Promise me. I’ll stop being a huge pussy and you’ll stop being a black hole for all that light you crave.” Vaughan squeezed Nika’s shoulders, “Promise me.”

[Anonymous]

Nika didn't fight Vaughan as the other boy pulled him closer. The pose was quite uncomfortable, but he put up with it. The anger he had felt moments earlier was fading, replaced by the calm emptiness he was familiar with.

"I don't think I know what a sexy face is, so you don't have to worry about that." The wetness dripping into his hair was not pleasant at all. Vaughan was a strange person, but that was part of why Nika liked him. He was broken on the inside, there was a darkness there.

The teenager pulled back, lifting his face so it was close to Vaughan's, "There is no real me Vaughan. There never has been." He smiled again, "There is nothing but emptiness. A dark, empty place." His hands slid along side Vaughan's head, into his hair.

It fascinated him how sure Vaughan was that there was a soul buried in him somewhere. He liked that, in the small, detached way he liked anything. And so he smiled at Vaughan, "I promise that I will keep trying." He might, he might not, but it didn't matter. He would tell Vaughan what he wanted to hear either way.

[Anonymous]

It irritated him, so much. Vaughan frowned, his eyebrows drawing together as he just stared at Nika. The skin around his eyes stung and they felt cold, he sighed when Nika put his hands into his hair, closing his eyes briefly. Darkness. Well of course there’s going to be darkness if nothing ever goes in there.

Yeah, okay.

His mouth stayed closed and he lowered his head, defeated. All this darkness bullshit. Nika sure was solid on this ‘I have darkness in me.’ ‘your insides are as red and bloody as mine are.’ Vaughan frowned before looking back up, a distinct pout on his face. ‘and not being able to express emotions isn’t the same thing as not having them. I’m sure they have medication for that stuff.’ His head tilted to the side, his eyes widening slightly before they closed and he took a deep breath.

‘You can’t hide behind that darkness you think you have because you’re...’ Vaughan trailed off and put his hands on Nika’s shoulders. ‘Maybe you should keep a journal.’

[Anonymous]

No one ever seemed to understand. They all seemed to think if he just put a little more effort, suddenly it would all be okay. That Nika would find that hidden core of emotions and suddenly mean it when he laughed and cried. They didn't understand what it was like to be empty.

"Yes. Of course. You are so right. I've just been mistaken all these years." Nika sat back, cracking his back as he did so, "They can give me a pill and it will be all better." He watched the former singer with that unnerving stare of his. Vaughan had seemed like him, all twisted and broken inside. While he was broken, Nika was starting to realize that he wasn't like him. There was no real bad place inside him.

Nika leaned back against the pillows, his head starting to hurt as the pain meds wore off, "A journal? And write what?" It was almost ironic. He had tried to hard to keep what he was a secret, make people believe he was normal. Then he came out and told someone and they just insisted he was normal. He really hadn't needed to bother with the act.

[Anonymous]

Vaughan sighed and rubbed his face. This was difficult. Nika was being so damn difficult.

Whatever.

the red head bent down to pick up the picture he left on the floor before sitting on the bed and placing them on Nika’s lap, sad, his eyes still red. His hand went to Nika’s leg and he rubbed it a few times before sitting up and moving towards his face, staring at him.

I’m your friend. Just don’t turn into a mindless tool. I know you don’t think you have a soul, but you do have a ‘you’ so...

Vaughan gave a slow nod and leaned in over Nika, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead and then leaning back, smiling sheepishly.

You should get some sleep. I’m... sorry for bugging you.

Slowly, Vaughan backed away from the bed, watching Nika, ready to jump up and do something if he asked him to before he left.

[Anonymous]

Nika smiled brightly at Vaughan, "You are right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't say those things. I just get upset sometimes." There was no real point in trying to explain to Vaughan anymore. And if he didn't like Nika as he really was, then Nika could slid the mask back into place easily. It didn't really matter to him.

He smoothed out the pictures, not really caring. They weren't any good anyway, not to the level he wanted them to be, "It's alright. I can make new ones. I just have to get used to only having one eye."

Reaching up, Nika lightly touched Vaughan's cheek, "Thank you. For visiting me. I enjoyed it. Will you come again?"

[Anonymous]

Pretty little liar. Vaughan closed his eyes and tried to smile, it hurt him that Nika wasn’t like everyone else. That he couldn’t be like everyone else. It annoyed him that he couldn’t just accept it and be a good friend. He leaned into the hand Nika put against his face and sighed. “I’ll visit again. Promise.” A hand went through Nika’s hair and he flicked the ear on the side that still had an eyeball and Vaughan turned tail and fled before Nika could say anything else.

[Anonymous]

Nika watched the other boy leave, smirking slightly. He didn't feel that same connection he had to Vaughan. He had thought the boy was like him inside, dark and broken. And Vaughan was broken, but not like Nika was.

But it might be interesting to keep in contact with Vaughan. See what happened. Nika wasn't really sure what he wanted anymore. But at least he could see where things went. Vaughan would be back. Nika was sure of that.