“Vitals stable, heart rate slightly elevated.” The staff on the other side of the double-sided mirror monitored embedded screens while others watched Aspen in the chair on the other side of the glass. “Go again, keep a close eye on this quadrant of the amygdala.” The doctor pointed at the scan of Aspen’s brain with his pen. A nurse pressed a button on the screen which started a power-up of the probes embedded meticulously all over Aspen’s head.
With each surge, Aspen’s body twitched, her wrists and ankles bound in the chair by cushioned straps. To some, the entire scene would look like something straight out of a horror movie. It would have never been guessed that Aspen had landed in this situation by her own free will. She wanted to be there having this done to her. For Aspen, all of this was a shot at a second chance at life. A life she had always wished she could live. Free from most fear, anxiety, depression, anything that caused her to be less than the pilot Aedolis and everyone else expected her to be. While she had been approached for testing of this stage of the trial, Aspen without question accepted the offer. If this could help her, it could help so many others as well. Before now shock therapy to a pilots special and delicate brain was a hard concept to grasp. However, if this did work so many pilots suffering from PTSD or any emotional turmoil could be helped. Or at least that was how this treatment had been pitched to her.
Aspen told no one of her decision. The only ones who knew were her dragon Thaen and all the doctors and scientists involved in the trial. The treatment would be placed as information in her file only accessible to those with noble ranking or higher.
The doctor pointed at the region of Aspen’s brain as it lit up again with his pen.
“Beautiful”
Flipping a white matte card in her fingers Aspen remembered their parting words as the rail made its way back to Margad. ” Call if you have any questions or concerns. You’re due back next week for a check and evaluation.”
That was it. Everything else as far as what to expect had all been explained beforehand which in all honesty was almost a blur. Essentially, Aspen should notice quite quickly that things should be processed by her brain quite differently than before. Or at least that was how it was explained to her.
“Is anyone sitting here?” A stranger’s voice interrupted the blank gaze Aspen had been sporting for most of the ride home on the crowded rail. Aspen simply looked up at the large man and shook her head before moving her bag for the man to sit. Aspen continued with her blank stare as she waited for a sign that what she had just been through did anything at all for her.
By the time the rail arrived in Margad Aspen’s stomach had begun growling. Without breakfast before her trip hunger was quickly catching up to her. On her way home she stopped at her favorite pizza place out of habit. The aroma of marinara and cheese filled the air and Aspen took it all in as she approached the counter to order. Shortly afterward with pizza in hand Aspen took a single bite and was filled with disappointment. There was not that joy and fulfillment with each bite that she had grown to love and need over the years. Upon inspection, the pizza slice seemed perfectly normal yet it was impossible to bring herself to finish it. It was just so… boring. Something she had eaten a hundred times before and this slice was not setting the bar very high compared to past experiences. It wasn’t taking her back to birthday pizza dinners with Havanah as it had done once before. There were no flashbacks of family dinners or even the pizza party she had back in candidacy. Aspen remembered it all, but nothing was resonating within her to make it special anymore.
Back at her apartment Aspen found herself dealing with the same thing she had at the pizza parlor. Her keyboard that was once an outlet seemed without purpose anymore. It was just this thing sitting in her room and taking up space. There was no want or need to sit down and pour out her innermost feelings and turmoils into the keys. Even worse Aspen didn’t feel a shred of guilt or sadness about it. She knew why she had played before. She remembered how her parent’s used her for her ability to earn extra income yet still there was no resonation of remorse within her over it. An effort was made to think back on everything that had brought Aspen down before only to be met with the thought process of ‘it sucked but it's over now’. On instinct, Aspen reached up and touched the code tattoo behind her ear. Again, that feeling of dread and fear was nowhere to be found within herself.
The only familiar feeling now was the burning in her eyes as tears began to well in the corners. Except, this kind of tears were completely foreign to Aspen. Covering her mouth Aspen mumbled as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.
“I’m finally free” she cried as her hand moved to show a smile spread across her lips.
