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Author Topic: Angel With A Shotgun [Moonie]  (Read 385 times)

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Offline GoblinFae

Angel With A Shotgun [Moonie]
« on: January 07, 2018, 08:53:50 pm »
Visiting with Galahad had been exhausting to say the least, though it definitely had been good to see and touch her old friend. So much time had passed and changed them and yet holding his hand in her own and getting to embrace him close albeit gently had nearly torn her heart to pieces all over again. With Yavul her memories had been of a much more distant past filled with laughter. But, with her dear "Darn It" there was so much more. There were their ATC days but also the war. There was Darrin and Antoine. There were promises of things that never did come to pass and seeing him laying there full of metal and tubes had brought it all so close to the forefront of her mind. Life was fleeting and they were all so very mortal.

With him asleep again, Blu found herself drowning in her own sullen thoughts when Galahad's physician dropped in again to check on his vitals. It was not that Blu faulted the woman. On the contrary it was a relief to see the Pilot in such good care. It was just the icicle daggers that the other woman was insistent on staring into Blu's head that set the Pilot Royal on edge. She did not understand what she had done to deserve Sashi's animosity but it certainly was getting old, fast.

While the younger Pilot exited the room again, blue eyes following her out, the woman that owned them was coming to a decision. For a moment she sat in that uncomfortable waiting room chair before pushing herself out of it with a tired and frustrated grunt. She was much better than she had been after the blast but was still recovering, not that she would let that slow her down.

Long legs carried her out into the hall and after the small woman. "Pilot Enu," Blu called out, coming up behind her. "A moment please?" The look she received as Sashi turned could have frozen even the warmest of hot springs though it did nothing to deter Blu. "Just what the hell is your problem with me? I ain't done nothing to you."

Offline Zero Undead

Re: Angel With A Shotgun [Moonie]
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2018, 09:09:55 pm »
Sashi had little patience for nonsense, she never had, but what she did have unfailing patience for was patient care. It was good for someone in Dorn’s condition to have visitors, company boosted morale and helped with the will to recover. That didn’t mean she had to enjoy Blu’s presence. Honestly she had thought herself doing a pretty good job of ignoring the other woman as much as humanly possible while still performing her duties.

That made it all the more annoying when Blue insisted on following her out and demanding explanations that Sashi doubted she deserved, let alone really wanted to hear. Well fucking good if the woman didn’t want to hear someone call her out on her shit behavior.

All the more reason to do it.

Sashi turned and gave her the most frigid look she could muster with her generally soft lavender eyes – hardly an intimidating color, but she could make it work with enough effort. She started talking and she couldn’t stop if she wanted to, this was something she’d been stewing on for over a week and sometimes you just had to let that kind of poison out before it ate you up inside. Plus she had thought about it quite a lot.

“Alright fine, you want to talk? Let’s talk. I want to tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a very poor girl from the lower levels. Her parents were factory workers that barely scraped by with four children and doing nothing but working. This little girl came from nothing – she was nothing and was never going to become more than nothing.

“Then oops, one day they discover she’s a psychic and suddenly this girl who had always known she would be nothing had to figure out how to be somebody because Pilots are never nobody. The only problem was she was a retrocog, an ability useless for just about anything at all, and being from the lowest levels of civilized Aedolis she came to the ATC barely able to read or write. For a while she thought all she could ever be was a Ministry lackey at best.

“This girl didn’t want that, but what else was there? Then she learned about this amazing Pilot who had the exact same useless ability she did. What did this Pilot do? She was a doctor, and not just a doctor, but a great one. Who was she? Someone that saved lives, that helped people, and how could anyone possibly be more of someone than that?

“I studied and crammed and dogged myself through coursework beyond normal hours. I skipped sleep, meals, and whatever else it took to not only catch up to the kids from higher class backgrounds, but to surpass them. All because I wanted to be you.

“Now try to imagine my disappointment to witness this woman I had admired so much that I devoted my life to medicine so I could be like her not only spew the most vile hate at the son of my friend, someone I care about, but to look at it impersonally. You were, to me, the greatest doctor I could aspire to, and you insulted and caused distress to a patient. It doesn’t matter that he was not your patient, that you were also a patient, or that you were high.

You caused harm to someone in pain and distress.

“There is nothing I can even think of more repulsive and disgusting to me. We have dedicated ourselves to taking care of patients, and you made one cry out of some racist notion that they were somehow disgusting for being who they are.

“I don’t hate you, Pilot Royal Moon. I am just unequivocally disappointed.” Sashi’s breathing was slightly elevated and a slight flush had crept into her face, but her expression and eyes had remained hard.

“Now if we’re quite done here, I have work to do.” She spun on her heel and walked away, because she had nothing else to say to her; although she fully expected to receive an official reprimand for speaking out of turn to a much higher ranking Pilot.

Offline GoblinFae

Re: Angel With A Shotgun [Moonie]
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2018, 11:20:43 am »
A dark brow rose in surprise at the icy glare she received but if Blu had known what words would follow she would have understood to be far more wary of the tiny ice queen before her. If she could have crossed her arms over her chest she would have. Instead she could only stand there as the life was practically sucked right out of her with each blow of words rained down upon her ears.

It had started out simple enough with a story of a girl. Every Pilot had one of those tales. Blu's had begun with her brother falling from a tree. But, then this child turned woman's tale suddenly included the berry-colored woman herself in it and the Commander felt her heart squeezing and skipping beats.

I wanted to be you.

Who would ever want to be Blu? The idea that there were Pilots and Candidates out there looking up to someone like her was a horrifying thought. Who was she, but just another person in the world trying to do some good? She didn't see herself as a person worthy of note or attention. Gods both knew she had done enough in her short lifetime already to no longer be called a good person.

But, then here was Sashi Enu driving a switchblade into her heart.

...repulsive...disgusting.

I don’t hate you, Pilot Royal Moon. I am just unequivocally disappointed.


The words spread fire through her veins chased by ice. Blu Moon felt sick. Disappointed, Sashi had said and the word rang over and over in her head as the spitfire turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving the older soldier standing there, a weaker shell of herself. Her eyes blurred with the prickling of tears because Gods damn it if Sashi wasn't right.

That's what made it all the more painful. It was true that Blu had been vile and cruel. She would make no excuses for it but, nor was she likely to change her ways overnight either. Years of bullying and greyneck lies had led her down a path to hate and ridicule any Kulshedra she came in contact with. Then came her four years of Candidate training followed by ten years of war and that hatred tempered some, the poison drawing further inward to be seen less and less outwardly. It never dried up though. It was still always there swimming beneath the surface.

To have it thrown in her face and laid so completely bare left her feeling ashamed. No one had spoken to her like that in a long time. Knowing that there was someone out there who had once seen her as something more than she could ever see herself as, and that Blu had absolutely crushed that person's belief in her, ate her up inside.

On legs that felt like jelly, she glided through the hospital, barely registering where she was going or what she was doing. Upstairs and down hallways, Blu floated along, completely trapped within the horror of regret that was her own mind. There was no going back now though. Even if Sashi had stayed, there was nothing Blu could bring herself to say. There was no justifying what she did, she would not have even tried if she could.

'Gods both, what have I done? Who have I become?' Blu slumped into a chair somewhere far from where she had first fled from Pilot Enu. Had the woman hated her, Blu could have handled that. Not everyone was going to be your friend. Not everyone was going to like you. But, having someone disappointed in you was so much more. It tore her heart into little shreds of bleeding paper and she wanted nothing more than to try and fix it, to take those pieces and tape them together, to put herself back together better than ever before, to be someone Sashi could take pride in again. But, the days for that were long past. Childhood hopes and dreams were crushed once more by reality. Blu Moon was a miserable, xenophobic woman hardened by war, haunted by memories, and wholly dependent on sleeping pills and wine to make it all go away.

There were no heroes to be found here.

 

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