Howlin' at the Door [GFAE!]

[Draconian]

Light at the end of the tunnel, right?

Harley shifted his stance from foot to food. He'd felt... Awful. Angry. Irritated. Nishi was angry at him and pouting probably and he was just a weird jerk. Was he supposed to feel guilty for getting a surprise guest? Nishi was married and not even interested in him like that! Why would she get so hurt over it? Harley looked down at Butterscotch at the end of her sparkly purple leash, her little dog harness snug over her orange-ish dog-shaped body.

A brief smile and Harley looked down at his com.

Absolutely not going to come out. She was in bed. Go home.

Harley tipped back his head, took a deep breath and howled. It was eerie and high pitched sounding, it echoed down the hall and Butterscotch bounced a few times before joining it. One long note and then, Harley squeezed his eyes shut took another deep breath and did it again.

"Awooooooooo!"

A few happy Butterscotch barks and again, she parked her butt, tipped back her head and joined in with the howl along to coax Nishi from her house. Harley wanted to talk and walk and he'd be damned if he didn't annoy his way into making the floofy Valkyrie go with him.

[GoblinFae]

Everything was moving so fast and yet she still felt like she as the one stuck standing still. Her talk with Yavul had helped a great deal but it was all still so difficult for her to hold onto day to day. Neeko had swept her up into getting married, had even had the bands with their names on them like he had just been waiting for her to want it. Nishi smiled at the memory, her fingers playing with the cool metal around her wrist as she thought of her sweet husband.

He took such good care of her even as she probably drove him insane. She was a terrible fiance and well onto her way to being a terrible wife. But, she was determined to make it all work. She would not hurt him. She would do better. She would be more present and considerate. Nishi had been so wrong and mistaken about Neeko's opinion regarding her. He and her commander both had straightened her out on that.

But, then Tamia was begging her to come out and party and the little female Kitsuni found herself facing full circle. Her friends were her coworkers. Perhaps she had been wrong about how little she thought they cared for her. They cared for her a great deal. However, she could not help be hurt knowing that she could so easily be pushed aside when something or someone better came along. Tamia, Adele, Harley...she was accumulating quite the list of people she felt had done her wrong and now it was all coming to a head again.

She knew she was picking a fight with Tamia and yet she persisted. Her heart hurt and she felt lonely. The need for family and security was rearing its ugly head again and all Nishi wanted to do was crawl under the covers and drown in her sorrow. She had been burned once when drinking and men were involved with her friends. She wanted nothing to do with it again. Her frustrations only continued to amount as the other two culprits of her breaking heart joined in.

Nishi wanted to hurl the com across the room but that would alert Neeko to her petulant behavior and she was already to embarrassed to have this discussion again so soon. It was not something she really wanted to explain to him. They were who they were and who was she to demand more of them? It was her own expectations being forced upon them and no real fault of their own, something she knew quite keenly deep down. Their pleading therefore only served to make her feel worse. Nishi was far form an attention whore. She did not want people fawning all over her or always begging for her to join in to make her feel better. What she wanted was a sense of closeness and comfort. She wanted to replace the security of the Kitsuni community that candidacy had nearly broken out of her. She just did not know how to safely go about it and as too ashamed and confused to know how to ask for it.

Her fingers flew furiously as she fought to brush Harley aside but he was strangely and unfairly persistent. Briefly she wondered if this is what they all felt like when she tried to push affection onto them. The thought sickened her further but it was forgotten as her heart leaped into her throat.

Neeko: No she doesn't. She's moping.
Neeko: Harley she'll be happy to help you walk Butterscotch. Give me just a minute.

Flailing to disentangle herself from the covers and race to the bathroom, Nishi hit the floor with a heavy thud. Neeko had seen and she could already hear him rather quickly making his way to her. If he got a hold of her then she was doomed. She scrambled towards the bathroom, hoping to lock herself in but a tug of her tail followed by strong arms pushing and caging her into the wall beside the door dashed that dream quite brilliantly. The growling face before her own, demanded submission and would take nothing less from her. For several long moments she tried and failed miserably to argue with him. If Nishi was going to behave like a child then he was going to treat her like one.

Her defeat had her serving her penance with more speed than she as expecting. As she was dragged to the kitchen she heard both Harley and Butterscotch howling outside her door. 'Bet the neighbors love that,' she scoffed to herself. She had little time to think further on it though as she was forced into her running shoes and all but dumped outside by the scruff of her neck, courtesy of her new husband. A thin wrapped box was pressed into her hands, a gift for Harley she kept forgetting to give him, before the door was quickly shut and locked behind her.

"Hello, Harley," she sighed softly, her ears pinned back and her face sullen with embarrassment. Her expression was very much that of a child that had been caught stealing and was now facing the consequences of her actions.

[Draconian]

Harley's head was tipped back and he'd sucked in a big breath before the door opened. Though it was let out in a whoosh when the door opened and he had to take a step back because the simply movement of throwing his head forward had thrown off his balance. His expression mirrored Nishi's. Ears pinned back, posture sullen and mopey.  He felt bad. If there was one thing Harley hated feeling, it was guilty for something he knew he did.

He'd never explained to Nishi just who had come over or why. He'd just set up his... Friend... In his bedroom and had crawled back onto the couch with Nishi and Butterscotch. Still she'd been not happy. Harley didn't understand why. It wasn't like he'd gone and fucked the guy! Though, there had been more than a enough of that the day after when Nishi had gone home.

Was she angry about that?

Harley frowned and shifted his feet, steps quiet and gentle. Butterscotch jumped up and down excitedly, bouncing at the sight of Nishi, her butt wiggling with how excited she was to see the kitsuni. "Hi, Nishi," He said voice soft and he took a step to the side, glancing at the box in her hand before he offered her his elbow. The one that wasn't occupied by puppy leash.

"Can we talk?" His voice was soft and he offered her a soft smile, a little flick of his scaly black and white ears. "I think... We can go for a wander and... Talk." Another hesitant smile and a nod to his elbow.  Butterscotch went from wiggling her butt to trying to hop up into Nishi's arms, eager and needy for the attention.

[GoblinFae]

She sighed softly at his voice, her tail dropping behind her to see him look as low as she felt. It was like looking into the mirror, an alternate more scaley mirror version of herself perhaps but still the emotions were the same. They were quite the pair. A soft whine filled her thrust at his offer as more and more guilt set in. She was the pathetic child in this situation and she hated it.

Blessedly Butterscotch was a welcome and adorable distraction. The little Kitsuni knelt down and scooped the squirming yipping ball of fluff into her arms and nuzzled her face against her neck and back. "Such a good pup," she murmured softly before putting her back down and moving to hesitantly accept Harley's proffered arm.

Her cool hand slid in comfortably then curled around his forearm with a gentle squeeze. "These are for you," she rushed to say, remembering the box still clasped firmly in her other hand. Nishi thrust it towards him quickly, her ears flickering back and forth nervously. "I got them before Soul's Night for you but kept forgetting to give them to you. I know it's a...lousy apology for...everything but I hope you'll like them."

Nishi's eyes flickered between him and the ground, half expecting him to shove her aside or throw it back in her face. After all, she was the one misbehaving a lot lately. He had probably felt compelled to come over to set her straight and had brought the puppy to try and soften the blow of his reprimand.

"You're right though," she added more softly, her head dropping nearly all the way to her chest. "We should talk."

[Draconian]

Butterscotch happily wiggled her tailless butt and Harley smiled down at her, smiling softly down at the dog and then hesitantly at Nishi. She wanted to talk though, so that was good. Harley didn't wait to start walking, his steps a little slow and the movements a little exaggerated. There was no stopping the surprised look on his face when she handed him the box and he paused a moment to look at it.

Did he open it now?

Open it later?

"Thank you," He said softly, ears flicking up for a moment before he forced them back down into a more neutral state. "I'll open it later and let you know what I think. I don't want to open it and lose anything inside."  There was a quick side hug for Nishi before he started again, moving down to hold her hand while he walked. Half because he liked the contact and half because he needed the balance help.

"So," He said, voice soft as they walked to leave the apartment, giving her hand a squeeze, "What's wrong? I know you're mad at me, but..." Harley sighed and looked at her, mismatched eyes wide and conflicted. How did people talk about emotions? Harley was very much a outloud thinker, sensitive people be damned.  "Why? Can I fix it? Please don't be mad at me, Nishi."

[GoblinFae]

Nishi nodded at his thanks, quiet and reserved as he surprised her with a quick hug before they were off and walking. Part of her wished she could drag him into a proper one and snuggle him close until he understand why her heart was hurting but that was not something she really want to have to explain to him. She knew she was the problem. She always was.

Neeko. Mia. Addie. Harley. All the names etched against her sad little heart and she was the common denominator that caused them all to leave her behind. Damn her insecurities and her fool heart. Talking with Yavul had helped yet she still found herself struggling when it came to her new friends.

But, then he was asking and a pained whine was escaping her before she could recall it. Nishi gave his hand a reassuring squeeze though she refused to look at him as her eyes became a bit glassy.

"I'm not mad at you," she told him, her voice cracking ever so slightly. "I'm mad at myself. I keep making the same mistake and it keeps biting my tail." She used her free hand to rub at her nose and try to compose herself. "I...I'm sorry, Harley. I didn't mean to upset and hurt you. I don't hate you, I hope you know that." She glanced over to him, her ears flattening again as she looked to him worriedly. "I really enjoyed our evening together. I hope you did too?"

[Draconian]

Harley just blinked at her, eyes wide before he smiled slightly.

"You know we can be mad at one another right?" He said softly, tugging her along for the walk while Butterscotch tried in vain to go ahead of them. There was some silence while they left the apartment and out into the Solartan evening. The plan was to walk around the block a few times while they talked. Let Butterscotch do her business.

Harley didn't want to be alone. Nishi was sad and felt neglected. It worked out.

"I really liked it," He nodded, "I was full for days," He teased, glancing at her. Harley hadn't eaten so much food ever.  There was a pause and he squeezed Nishi's hand after a moment before blowing out a breath and glancing down. "So, what's the problem then?" He gave their hands a swing while Butterscotch turned around to bark at them, wiggling her butt again, "You didn't want to come out with me. Are you... Jealous?" He said softly, voice soft.

"I'm jealous," He admitted softly, "You have a whole family, packed up with a bow," another swing of their hands, "You're a Valkyrie," his voice was soft. "So what's the problem? I wasn't expecting company. I shuffled Hugh off to sleep on my bed and we slept on the couch," he frowned, ears going back for a moment before stopping himself and putting them back to their neutral places. "Possessive? Maybe?"

[GoblinFae]

Her ears flicked about belying the truth of his statement without her having to say a single word. Butterscotch's antics did make her smile faintly though as she offered Harley a squeeze back. "Something like that I suppose." Sullenly she kicked a rock in her path, watching as it skittered around in a circle and arced off to her left.

"They tolerate me. They don't want me," she told him with a shrug, refusing to look anywhere but ahead for fear of bursting into tears again about her god damn insecurities. The bracelet on her wrist rattled as she moved her hand and she found herself smiling ever so slightly. "Well Neeko does. I get that now but," Nishi sighed and shook her head.

"Everyone loves you here, Harley. Yavul, Neeko, Hannibal, Addie, Mia. They all love you to death. Me too for that matter. And me...I'm just the last resort call. Better-than-being-alone-Nishi. They left me at Matt's party to go have their fun and completely forgot about me. I came home alone."

A tear slipped out as she remembered crawling into Neeko's lap and telling him how she had wished she had stayed home. It hurt even more the next day knowing that both of her Valkyrie friends had gone off together with Matt and not with separate people. Then, Razican got hurt and everything went to shit.

"I never get asked to spend time with them. I'm either already there or I'm the after thought of 'oh shit the rest of us are here.' You wanted me to come over, just me and I felt really...happy. I like you Harley. I think you're fun and funny and can be really sweet," she told him with a shrug.

"Then he showed up and I was jealous. I didn't know he had just shown up. I thought I wasn't good enough. Someone better came along and I was second best again. Everything was Hugh this and Hugh that and...I have no right to complain." Nishi sniffled and shook her head.

"You're wrong though. I don't have a family. I have Neeko. I want what you have Harley...I want them to love me like they love you. I just feel like the broken wheel when I'm with them. I can't keep up no matter how fast I run after them."

She fell silent, her heart hurting too much to keep talking. Already she was kicking herself for having said so much, too much. All of it was true though. Nishi did not feel she belonged in their social setting, in their family outside of work. But Harley, he was so far in he could not leave if he wanted to. How could he not see? They all practically fell over themselves for him. Even the three newest Valkyries, herself included would jump if it meant making him smile or laugh or come out of his shell.