This New Leaf Looks Funny. ( Rina! )

[Anonymous]

Staring at the half full glass of whiskey between his hands, Remi willed his heart to slow down, this was going above and beyond saying sorry. Alaric was the last person he had who didn’t hate him for the things he’s done. Khuno’s always hated him, so he was okay with that, everyone else he’d succuessfully pushed away. Alaric though...

Remi slammed his fist down onto the table, watched the glass hop a bit, watched the liquid inside swirl around the edges. His fingers traced the rim slowly, contemplating drinking it, to make his jitters go away. Alaric would get mad though, if he had to drink to smooth his nerves, Remi paused for a moment before he picked up the glass and placed it in the sink, going to his pack of cigarettes and lighting one up.

Pastel pink eyes stared at the stuffed sheep sitting on the coffee table in the living room, staring at him with it’s soulless black half beads. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Remi sighed and took a drag of his smoke, staring at the sheep before him. “Stop looking at me like that.” Putting the cigarette between his lips he walked over to the sheep and turned it away from him.

A week to make that thing, Remi looked down at his fingertips, they weren’t horribly mutalated, but they’d been pricked enough times to remain slightly red and hurt when he touched things too. Okay, once he was done this cigarette, he’d go give Alaric the sheep.

Remi stared at the lonely butt in the ashtray, and pulled the cigarette from his mouth to blow a smoke ring into the air. Okay, after this one.

Two more cigarettes later, Remi got himself a glass of water and wandered to the bathroom to brush his teeth and stare at himself in the mirror in that self-loathing way he was good at. No, now wasn’t the time for this. It had been a few weeks since he’d insulted Alaric, it was now or never, and Remi didn’t want to think of the concept of never. That would mean a forever of no body, Remi wasn’t self-loathing enough to not want at least one person around.

After putting his hair back in a some what sloppy ponytail, he scooped up the little stuffed sheep, quite a work of art for him of fumbling fingers, and played with one of its ears before giving it a hug and placing a kiss on it’s nose. He’d done a lot of bonding with this stupid little sheep. It took a good five minutes to get from his floor to Alarics and walk all the way around to his apartment, that was plenty of time to start freaking out again.

“Present.”

Remi tapped its nose before biting down on his lip as he wandered towards the elevator, legs protesting. This was something unfamiliar for Remi. Saying sorry. Even when he’d have fights with Izyasica she would cuddle up against him first, letting him know the fight was over, even if it was his fault.

And man-oh-man, was this situation ever his fault. Had to clean messes for cussing out an off duty Royal, the bastard. Remi sneered at the wall before he mindlessly wandered to Alarics floor. It took him a moment to realise he was on the right floor, blinking slowly at the walls.

Closer. So much closer.

His heart was pounding a million miles a second, he felt light headed and sick. Remi moved a hand up to cover his ear, why did he put his hair back? A growl and he closed his eyes, puffed out his chest and squared his shoulders. Men didn’t act like fumbling school girls when they were going to apologize to the last person they had.

There was Alarics door.

He could do this. No problem.

Pressing the button to his apartment, Remi took a quick breath and swallowed the last of his ‘rawr, I hate everything’ pride. This wasn’t the time for that bit of him. Not here.

It took a few moments for the door to open, but before Alaric could get a word in, or tell him to ‘fuck off, I have company.’ Remi shoved the little stuffed sheep into his ex-candidates chest. His face turned down slightly and his face tinged pink. Embarrassing. This was so embarrasing. But not humiliating. Embarrassing because he knew that he’d feel stupid if he got rejected, if Alaric picked up Present and threw it away before closing the door on him.

Maybe it was a good thing he hadn’t poured out that glass he put into his sink.

“It’s Present. I’m sorry.”

Such simple little words that could mean the world to someone.

[Anonymous]

Alaric wasn't moping. That would be childish and Alaric was a Pilot Echo. Pilot Echo's didn't mope. His apartment was a mess for him. The kitchen was a disaster from all the obsessive baking and cooking he had been doing and he hadn't really cleaned the place up since his fight with Remi.

Mostly he had been working obsessively, baking and bothering Gabe. Anything to keep his mind off what a horrible mess things had become. Everything had gone wrong and he had been an idiot to think he had a shot with someone like Remi. With anyone. He could count the number of friends he hand on one hand.

And Kazef was being his normal, helpful self about the whole thing. Reminding Alaric all the reasons why Remi wouldn't like him, all the ways he had messed things up and reasons he should hate Remi. The last part had let him stay angry, which was a lot better then depressed.

The door buzzed and Alaric sat up, blinking slightly. Was it Gabe? He swung long legs off the couch and sat up, plodding over to the door and opening it. The site of Remi made Alaric's blue eyes narrow and he felt some of the rage flow back, all the hurt and frustration and relief at seeing Remi again. He opened his mouth, ready to snap at the blond Pilot when he felt something shoved into his chest.

"Present?"

Alaric took the small stuffed animal, studying it. It was roughly made, obviously hand sewn by an amateur. And it was the sweetest, most wonderful gift Alaric had ever received. The plushie and the apology robbed Alaric of words. He just hugged it tightly too him, tears running down his face.

He didn't know what to say, to express how happy it made him that Remi had made this effort for him. Reaching out, he hugged Remi tightly, Present squished between them, face buried in the Pilots sunflower hair.

[Anonymous]

This wasn’t what he was expecting.

Remi blinked and stared ahead when Alaric hugged Present to his chest. Well, that was good, he liked the gift. Remi was prepared to get yelled at and was ready to turn away and leave, but before he could really blink, he was getting sobbed on and hugged and Remi moved his face.

“AlaricIcan’tbreath.”

Despite his quiet out-of-breath protest, Remi closed his eyes and slowly moved his hands up to press against Alarics back. Worried. This wasn’t going quite right. It was going too well. And Remi hoped to any gods in the sky that he didn’t leave any pins in Present, because he knew they’d be stuck in his chest right now.

“Are you okay?” His voice was strained as he spoke and he just snuggled closer, he missed the only person he had left.

Actually, Remi paused for a moment, he missed hugs. A tiny smile drew at his mouth and he took a breath, or attempted to. “Sorry.”

[Anonymous]

"S-sorry." Alaric only released his hold on Remi a little. He nuzzled deeper into Remi's hair, unable to stop crying. He had been so upset and scared and lonely and it was all coming out now.

The touch of hands against his back had him blushing, leaning closer against Remi, "You know that you are a jerk, right?" Alaric finally leaned back, his left hand coming up to very carefully brush his tears away, "I...haven't totally forgiven you yet."

A sweet gesture wasn't enough to make it all better. But it was a very good start. Alaric cuddled the lamb tightly to his chest, "His name is Present? Did you make him all on your own?"

[Anonymous]

Looking down slightly Remi took a step back and moved his hands to his sides and lifted his head, frowning slightly.

“I realise that. I apologise, I didn’t realise I could get like that and have my mouth run away with me. I understand how you’ve had to force yourself to put up with me since Izyasica died. How you see Izzy more than I do. I apologise, really.” He moved his hands to his neck and sighed, turning his face to the side and closing his eyes briefly.

A moment later he eyed the sheep and pursed his lips. “Yup. Made it from the fluff out. It... is a long overdue present. “ He looked off to the side and shuffled his feet before taking a breath and offering a smile. “Want me to leave or should we have a chat?”

[Anonymous]

Alaric clutched the plushie tightly to him, nuzzling it against his cheek, "Remi...." He gave the blond Pilot a long look, not sure what to say. So many options and emotions were running through his mind, "Remi....do you really think that I force myself to be with you? After all these years?"

He stepped back from the door, allowing Remi to enter, "You can come in. Dumbass. I spend time with Izzy because I love her, nothing to do with you. And I like spending time with you." He could feel his cheeks heating, darkening to a deeper blue, "Don't you like spending time with me?"

[Anonymous]

Taking a deep breath, Remi moved his hands to the back of his neck and held there while he stared ahead, mostly at Alarics chest. Not his miniuatures of breasts, but his collar bone, shoulders, just staring ahead. Looking but not seeing. Images were playing in front of his face that only he could see. Remi could see himself clinging to what was left of his cover, the thick layer of fake self he’d been wrapped in the past years.

This single moment made him want to curl up and cry.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Remi took a deep breath and walked into the apartment quiet, his head down, facing away from Alaric. “Of course I do, Alaric.” He rubbed at his eyes before moving his hands back into his pockets and moving to lean against the wall. “I... I can’t say anything to make what I did okay.” Taking a deep breath, he moved his hands and slapped them down on his thighs, looking up at Alaric.

“Okay. Rant at me.”

[Anonymous]

Alaric watched Remi, hugging Present close to his face. He never really stayed angry for very long. When he did finally get angry, it tended to be short and violent, then gone. And right now he just wanted to hug Remi, take that horrible, sad look from his face.

More then anything, Alaric wanted to kiss him. But he couldn't do that, he was still to afraid. He really had no idea how Remi felt about him and making a move could ruin everything. So the alien just shook his head, "No, I don't want to rant. And, no, nothing you say will make that okay. Just....don't do it again? Okay?"

Leaning down, Alaric pressed his forehead, just above his extra eye, against Remi's. He wanted to say something, express what he was trying to say. But all the words were tangling up in his head. He didn't know how to say it. So he didn't try too.

[Anonymous]

It took Remi a moment to blink and then wonder just how far Alaric had to bend over to press his forehead against his. He blinked again and stared forward, a face hadn’t been this close to his since... Well, a face besides his daughters. He quickly closed his pastel pink eyes. He’d always wondered what it would be like to kiss a tall person. Waaaait a second. Remi was very glad Alaric liked the stuffed sheep. Ecstatic. But Kisses? Remi closed his eyes for a moment and sighed, his hands moving to Alarics shoulders.

His thumbs rubbed in circular motions and he felt his heart kick up a notch. This was his candidate. He led this kid since he was short and geeky. Well.. Remi opened his eyes for a quick glance at Alaric. He’d led this kid since he was shorter and less geeky. Remi smiled at himself before pressing his lower face forward and brushing his lips against Alarics. He didn’t regret it instantly.  

But once the lip brushing was done he did feel guilty. Alaric was... Alaric. Remi was his mentor! Sure there were feelings there, if there weren’t Remi wouldn’t be clinging to Alaric like he was some life line. “I’m sorry. That was totally uncalled for.” The blonde let his hands drop but he didn’t move away or close his eyes.

[Anonymous]

Remi's face so close to his own was making it hard to think. His face was flushed and he could feel his heart pounding against his chest. All of his senses were filled with Remi. The scent of him, the sight of him, how good he felt.

He was struggling to compose his thoughts, trying to make his words work when he felt the feather light touch of Remi's lips on his own. Any attempt at gathering his thoughts was lost, his face going even darker. He forgot to breath, forgot to move, his lips parting slightly in surprise.

Remi had kissed him.

Remi.

Had kissed him.

Kissed him!

Then Remi's words clicked and Alaric's joy shattered, a hurt look flashing over his face, his arms tightening around the plushie, "W-what? Why? Why are you sorry?"

[Anonymous]

Why was he sorry.

“Because, I just came here to say I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to seduce you with...” Pretty words? Remi hadn’t said any pretty words. The plushie wasn’t even pretty, and Remi would feel horrible if he had accidentally left a needle in there. “With...Well..” remi gave a dry chuckle and moved his hands to Alarics cheeks. “Whatever I could seduce you with. I’m not going to be some emotional sexual outlet for you when you’re hurting.”

Wait a second.

“I’m not sorry for the ...” Remi frowned, was that even a kiss?  More like accidental lip brushing. Hmm, can’t be sorry for a kiss if he hasn’t done it yet. This time Remi leaned forward and planted both lips on Alarics before leaning back again. “I’m not sorry for the kiss. But this isn’t a good time to start anything or confess any feelings. Not after a fight or after we’ve been avoiding one another.”

Leaning back and gently pushing Alaric up, Remi gave a heavy sigh, kept his eyes closed for a moment before smiling brightly. One of those big bright smiles he hadn’t let out since Izya died. “Thank you, Alaric.” Remi stared at the plushie for a moment before remembering something and then gently pressed a finger against the bow at it’s neck and waved his hand at Alaric, the ring on his ring finger was gone.

“I put my ring on the bow, it’s very, very important to me, so if you ever feel the need to rip me out of your life don’t throw away the doll and just give it back. I know the ring is safe with you for now though, I trust you.” Remi gave a helpless dry chuckle before pushing a hand through his hair. “Sorry for... Being a pain.”

[Anonymous]

Remi's awkward start had Alaric starting to smile. He couldn't help it, Remi could be funny at even the strangest of times. Then Remi was kissing him again and Alaric felt his knees go weak. His cheeks were never going to be a normal color again.

But he nodded his head, still clutching the poor plushie against him like a life line, "O-okay. That...okay." It made sense and Alaric desperately hoped it meant that Remi might actually have something to confess.

The mention of the ring had Alaric's jaw dropping. There were no words and he could feel tears pricking at his eyes, the two with tear ducts anyway. He nodded his head, voice slightly rough with emotion, "I'll treasure it. T-thank you Remi. So much."

Reaching up with one hand, he wiped at his eyes, "Umm...If...if we shouldn't say anything now..." He hesitated, courage wavering slightly. But Alaric had to know. He couldn't pine after Remi forever, "Maybe....you would like to go out for dinner this week?" He ducked his head, "If you are free...."

[Anonymous]

A light smile was on his lips and Remi closed his eyes for a moment, taking a breath before leaning and pressing his cheek to Alarics own for a moment. This felt sort of nice. Of course the kick in the face to wake him up wasn’t all that great or fun, but this outcome. Remi sort of liked it. Sure it forced him to let go of Izya, well, sort of, Remi thought about the ring and took another deep breath before leaning back against the wall and looking at Alaric.

A date?

Remi paused for a moment before letting his face go slightly grim. “They were tasty, but can we not have juicy fried bugs?” Another pause, tilting his head to the side. “We should go on a date with Izzy. I’m sure she’d like it too.” Remi took a step back and ducked out and away from Alaric before giving a stretch and letting out a careful breath. “Hum... I only meant to come here to give you Present. Thank you, Alaric.”

[Anonymous]

The comment got a small smile and Alaric could feel his face heating a little, "Sure. I seem alone in my love for them. It's alright, it's a pretty acquired taste." It couldn't be real, Remi like this. He had gone off the deep end and was hallucinating.

So gullible. You are just a sad replacement for his wife. Remi loved her with all his heart. There is no room for a freak like you there. Kazef's purring tones slid through Alaric's mind. The dragon always liked to pop in at choice moments. Just a living breathing replacement. He's not seeing you, little Pilot.

Alaric gritted his teeth, doing his best to ignore Kazef. He could feel the smug amusement through their connection. But he wasn't going to let the dragon mess this up. Or...at least he wasn't going to show how much those words had hurt right now. He nodded, forcing a brighter smile, "That would be good. I love getting to see Izzy."

Nuzzling against his new present, Alaric watched Remi, feeling shy, "Is....that bad? I...er...is this okay?"

[Anonymous]

A small smile. “You can feed them to me another time. Make sure I’m blindfolded, I didn’t say they were bad, I just meant that the sight of them was... unnerving.” Remi noticed the slight change in Alaric, he’d been inside his head too many times to count and he felt his own face drop slightly. A breath and Remi looked away for a moment.

It was time to move on, right? Dragging dead bodies wasn’t good. It turned Remi into a horrible person and the dragons, well, his own dragon, liked seeing him a grumpy lifeless husk of a man. This was half for himself, half a kick in the face to Khuno. Shiny bastard. Not strong enough to do it alone though.

“I admit I’m doing this for a selfish reason.” His voice was quiet, his head down he’d put a damper on the mood, “I need you to help me be who I was, again. This isn’t about Izyasica or replacing her or anything like that. You can’t replace her, I don’t want to replace her, but I need you to help me let her go so all she’ll be is a fond memory that I can tell Izzy about when she’s older and starts to wonder what her mother was like.” He paused for a moment. “I meant the kiss. I thought I should tell you that, it’s okay if your opinion of me changes.”

A spur of the moment movement had Remi grab Alarics head and pull him down for another swift kiss. It felt nice. He’d missed this feeling, kissing. It made his heart flutter and the feeling in his chest was just... Right.

It was... Nice.

“I should go.” Remi licked his lips and turned to walk towards the door. “I’ll call you when I figure a good day for Izzy with Mom and Dad. Call you or the next time I see you. Need anything before I head back?”

[Anonymous]

Alaric winced slightly. He hadn't meant for Remi to pick up on those thoughts. He didn't want to listen to what Kazef had to say, but it was hard when there was always someone in your head, pointing out your own worst fears.

"No..I know. I know that nothing can replace her and I wouldn't want to try." He flushed, feeling guilty and awkward, "I don't mind helping you be happy again." It hurt him to see Remi so broken and hurt. He was okay with just being a fling to get Remi healthy again. It was a lot better then never getting him at all.

The kiss surprised Alaric and he leaned down into it, all three eyes closing. It felt good, amazing to be kissing Remi like this. He had wanted it for so long. When Remi pulled away, Alaric was flushed a darker blue, lips slightly swollen. It took a moment for his head to catch up to what Remi was saying, "Oh, yeah. Just let me know what works for you. Um...I'll drop some dinner by tonight." Knowing Remi, he wasn't wasting much that wasn't out of a bottle.

"Thank you. For the present and apologizing."

[Anonymous]

A small smile fluttered on Remi’s lips as he gave a nod and rubbed the back of his head. Right. Leave before things sink in and get really awkward. Remi felt like he was prancing on clouds. He had a friend back, he’d gotten a smooch. Things felt a little more right, a little less empty. It was...nice.

Remi couldn’t think of any other word than nice. It was. That was it. Nice. Things weren’t perfect. They’d never be perfect. They weren’t great. They... Were nice. Remi let out a chuckle when Alaric mentioned dropping some dinner off. “I’d appreciate that.” he gave a nod and pushed his hands into his pockets. “I’m sorry to have done anything worth appologizing. I hope you like present.”

A pause.

“I’ll see you later, Alaric.” He turned to leave, his footsteps quiet, his hands still burried in his pockets as he made his way to his quarters.

[exit Remi]

[Anonymous]

"Alright. I was gonna make stirfry. So...um...yeah..." Alaric flushed, feeling awkward and elated and nervous. It almost felt like a dream, even with the dark pit of fear that was hanging over him. He and Remi were going to go on a date.

And had kissed. Alaric had never really kissed many people. He had kissed more people in the last month then he had in the last year. It was rather strange and he had never really thought he would get to kiss Remi.

"It's okay. Really....it's behind us." Alaric hugged the lamb closer to him, "Thank you again. I really do love him." He watched Remi turn to leave, still feeling pleasantly stunned. "I'll bring your dinner by around 7."

Not...exactly smooth, but it was something. He stepped back inside, shutting the door. He needed to call Gabe. Now.