Held A Book Burning ((Czarina Of Teh Zombies!))

[Anonymous]

Dainca sat in her living room on one of the two dark red couches that sat around a black table. They were overstuffed really comfortable couches. Sometimes she ended up sleeping on the couches instead of her bed. Some slow classical piano music was coming out of a stereo that sat on a bookshelf up against the wall of the living room. Her bare feet were up on the table her legs crossed at the knee.

Next to her feet a cup of coffee sat on the table, it wasn't steaming like she had forgotten it was there. Next to that three bottles of water sat in a row. It really annoyed her to get up every time she finished a bottle, since she drank liquids so fast most of the time.

She was leaned back against the couch a small game system in her hand. She was pressing buttons fast her brow furrowing. She was moving the system all over the place like that could help her achieve anything. The sleeves on her red flowy shirt were rolled up to her elbows. The shirt hung off of her a lot. She normally bought clothes that were too big. The shirt underneath was a orange and t-shirt that fit her pretty well. She was wearing white capris that cut off at the knee. Her outfits were normally strange in style because they mixed old and new themes.

Why isn't he here yet! She grumbled to herself. She sighed, he wasn't even late really, she was just seriously impatient. Her candidate meant a lot to her so she had a soft spot that kept her impatience from growing too out of control. He was a good kid, the only thing she had to complain about with him was how eager he was to please. He really needed to harden himself. She didn't want to be the one to have to teach him those lessons, though she would never tell anyone that. She could hear Roland chuckle in her mind, her dragon.

She had managed to set him on his path but he still needed some work. He had seemed so in over his head when he had gotten to the ATC. He had really achieved more than she had expected. Now of course she expected much more from him because of that. He was going to see, hear and do things he never wanted to. That was one of the last few lessons she really needed to teach him. You had to be big and cold enough to not let everything get under your skin.

If there was anyone who could teach him how to shut things out it would be her. She had a weird plan for it but he needed more experience, and he needed it quickly, intensely. There wasn't a ton of time before he would either pass or fall.

[Anonymous]

Alejandro ran a hand through his short hair, trying to flatten it down. It never really seemed to do what he wanted, but he wasn't really sure what else to do with it. So it just sort of....was. But he didn't want to look sloppy in front of Dainca.

And he wasn't really sure why she wanted to see him. He might be in trouble. The short, slightly pudgy boy frowned at the door. There were things he had done he could get in trouble for. Shiloh tended to like do drag him into things, but he didn't think they had gotten caught.

Oh...damn. Maybe he wasn't going to be able to graduate. Shit. That would suck. He was stage 5 and close to being a full pilot. Maybe he wasn't going to be able to past the tests. No matter how hard he tried, Alejandro couldn't seem to lose his 'baby fat' and he wasn't very good at combat training. But he was a talented physic and he worked hard.

So...maybe it was good news? Lifting his finger, he pressed the buzzer with a sigh. No point in stressing out any longer over it. And Danny hated to have to wait. Even if he wasn't late yet, she was probably getting ticked off he wasn't there yet.

[Anonymous]

Danica looked over towards the door sliding it open with her mind for him. Alejandro was here finally. She knew he was right on time. He always was. Everything just felt like it took longer to her when things weren't on her time. She couldn't help but smile. He was not the sort of person you would guess was going through the candidate program very well. That was mostly the pudgyness. She was very happy Alejandro was doing so well. Even happier that he still needed her somewhat. There was really only a couple more things that she could teach him still.

He needed to learn more of a training regiment, one that he could keep up with. Maybe a diet. She may have to ask Satori about that. She was always exercising and keeping track of things. Danica herself couldn't come up with much on that end of things, her body pretty much took care of itself. She just drank lots of liquids and it stayed happy with her.  He had to stay healthy especially as a human about to become a Pilot. The stress and everything else could get to him if he didn't have certain things cement in his mind.

"Alie!" She had called him that since very early on in his training. She normally only used his full name when he was in trouble with her. Right now she was just happy to see him. Tired of waiting. She could tell he was nervous though. No matter when she called for him he was always nervous. Another thing she was to knock out of him. She hoped he would get more use to her as Stage 5 moved on since as her assistant he would spend much more time with her.

"Glad to see you made it. The panic is coming off you in waves. Chill out sit down." She gestured towards the chair across from her. "There's coffee in the kitchen if you want it first though." She always had coffee going when the candidate was doing a day with her. It always helped her, she assumed it helped him too. She watched him, the little spark of innocence he had somehow retained...she didn't know how, but it needed to be plucked, shown the world and change into a different spark. She knew it would change who he was. If he was going to pass he needed to do it, to deal with it. In whatever way he could.

[Anonymous]

It was nice to see Dancia in a pleased mood. Not that she was normally in a bad mood, but at least it meant that his fears were all in his head. The boy returned the smile, trying to flatten his hair again. It didn't really work any better the second time, "Sorry. Can't help but be a bit nervous. I...really didn't think I would make it this far."

And he almost hadn't. He just managed to keep ahead enough to scrape by getting sent off to TRIM. But Alejandro was quite aware that he wasn't the best or the brightest candidate. Hell, most of the gracies seemed better off then he was. But he did work very hard and his physic ability wasn't bad, and he was very talented at using it. He liked to fancy himself a bit like Roman in that regard. Skill and expertise over raw power. He had a real knack at getting into people's minds and being able to mess around inside without the person even realizing what was happening to him.

Turning to head into the kitchen to get some coffee. He hadn't ever liked coffee until he got Danica as a mentor. She always made him some and in his early years he had been to afraid to refuse the strong liquid. Now he rather liked it, "Thanks for the coffee. You are looking rather lovely today. I like that shirt."

Even around his mentor, the boy felt slightly awkward. He always felt like he wasn't good enough to hand out with anyone at the ATC. He didn't mind impressing and occasionally pushing around the other, younger candidates with Shiloh, but he really only felt that confident around his friend. All the pilots and the other stage 4 and 5 candidates he felt he needed to try to make sure they liked him.

Taking his cup of coffee the boy sat on the couch near his mentor, his posture ridged and slightly awkward as he was afraid of doing something stupid. He took a slow sip, unsure what he should say, "So...um....yeah. I'm...err....here."

[Anonymous]

Danica watched him walk around closely. Was this the day to do this to him? She felt a strange flutter in her stomach and chest as she thought about it and he sat down. She didn't often feel the pull both ways between Aedolis and humanity. This little candidate...well big now, it was hard not to remember him the way she had first seen him so long ago.

Barely for a split second a thought when through her head. She wanted to tell him to run, to get out. It was just a feeling not even words in her head or her mouth. Just a strange little empty gut feeling of a flight instinct. She heard Roland's growl in her head and she had a small smile come across her face.

You know better than that Roland. Just a momentary slip. Even I have them sometimes. She heard a huff in her head that made her think of old dragon art people drew with smoke coming out on their noses as they sighed or snorted. She leaned forward picking up her coffee mug and swallowing about half of it in a gulp. She held the mug in her hands like it was keeping her warm. Gently.

Turning to Alejandro she blinked a couple times a pursed her lips then spoke.

"Alie, I think you'd even agree that you're a little bit of a softy." She felt a flutter again and gave a cough and mentally reached up turning off that damn sympathy that was getting in the way. "And any dragon won't see that as a strong suit." She could almost see Roland nodding in her head as she spoke.  She heard his rumble of an affirmative and gave a small smile. She fidgeted for a moment.

"I want to give you something that will be almost as good as the experience you need. There's just not enough time for you to have all the experience you really need. So we're going to take a different path." She closed her eyes slowly then opened them again. She took another drink from her mug turning her eyes away from him. She set the empty mug down with a bit of a clang. She always drank liquids like that quickly like there was a fire inside of her, technically there was.

She looked back over to Alejandro as she picked up one of the bottles of water and cracked it open then leaned back.

[Anonymous]

Ah. Well, that hadn't really been what Alejandro had been expecting to hear. It made his cheeks flush a little and he ducked his head into the coffee mug, taking a long sip to try and figure out how to reply to that.

He knew he was weak. It was hard to miss. But it still hurt to have it pointed out to him. The candidate had rather hoped that he would be able to just avoid that issue by trying hard and sticking around the strong people. He didn't want to fail. He didn't want to go to TRIM. And beyond that, the short, chubby kid wanted to belong. He wanted to get to be like the other Pilots, beautiful and strong and confident.

"I...don't think I'm all that soft." Alejandro wasn't looking at Dancia when he spoke. He was never good at lying to her, "I'm good at following orders...." The boy was a born follower. He had always hoped that there was a dragon that would like having a punching bag. That would be what saved him.

Her next words had the boy raising his dark eyes to her, expression worried. That didn't sound good. In fact, that sounded like it might hurt. Or make him scream a lot, "Uh....what is it that you are going to be giving me?"

[Anonymous]

A frown crossed her face at how he stammered. She wished he could just speak his mind freely to her. Hadn't he been around her long enough to not be afraid. She knew that she was intimidating, but he had to know everything she said and did was to help him right?

"I think you're a wonderful Candidate Ali, I think you'll make an even better Pilot, you just need some push. I want to make sure you succeed." She took a deep breath as she got ready to explain. Ali was going to get something she gave to hardly anyone. Access to some of her memories, the more painful ones.

"I want to show you some of the things I've seen. From my point of view. You'll be able to feel how I've felt. See what I've seen. " She took another breath, seeing some of the things she was planning to show him as she spoke. "I think it will help you figure out what you need to do. How you need to be. The first step will be you putting down your shields."

She watched his face closely and took a deep drink of the cold water feeling it slide down her throat.

"It's not going to be pleasant but that's the point."

[Anonymous]

Of all the things he had expected, that really had not been one of them. The candidate gaped at his mentor, shocked at the idea. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, he just really hadn't expected that option.

"But...what will that help?" He hadn't meant that to come out so rude, but he was rather surprised and trying to figure out what to say. He flushed slightly and took a quick sip of coffee, burning his tongue and causing him to slightly wince.

After clearing his throat, Alejandro glanced over at his Mentor again, "It's not that I don't want that! I'm honored that you would share some of your memories with me. But...I'm just...confused. I mean, why? What's wrong with me?"

He was probably going to fail. This was some last ditch effort on him Mentors part. He knew it. He was going to get send to TRIM and die there, after years of experimentation as a lab rat.

"I will work harder! I will. I can do better! I thought I was doing alright....I mean...Shiloh just graduated! And he wasn't that much better then I was....and I'm a way better student...."

[Anonymous]

Her eyes turned sad and dark at the same time. Didn't he know better than to question his Pilot a this point in his training. Especially one has high-ranked as her. Had she steered him wrong ever? Things might have been painful but it was always for a damn good reason. She let her eyes run over Alie shaking her head for a second.

"Alie, you have to understand that you aren't going to fail most likely. You've basically reached the point of no return." She placed a hand on his shoulder, that was supposed to be caring but has a sort of rigidity to it. She looked at him very seriously.

"You'll pass, but the real challenge is after you pass. This isn't a ditch effort. I'm trying to prepare you. There's always a chance you could get TRIMed after you complete everything. I don't want to have to watch you go through all that." She took another large breath and squeezed his shoulder then placed her hands in her lap.

"There's a reason all of the Pilots, including myself, all have a hard outer shell, and a reason I taught you the starts of shutting things on and off in your mind. You need to be cold, you need to not care sometimes. You can't let everything get to you which you sort of just demonstrated you do."

She intertwined her fingers on her lap. She didn't feel right about this at all. Alejandro should have just accepted her decisions by now. She stared forward and sighed shaking her head again. She looked back over towards him anger playing in her eyes.

"You should trust me more than this by now. I'd think you'd have learned that."

[Anonymous]

Alejandro flushed slightly, glancing down, "Oh. No. I hadn't meant that I didn't trust you. I'm sure this is for the best. I was just confused as to what it was going to help...that's all."

Shit. He was making a mess of this all over the place. His grip tightened around the mug, trying to think of what to say to fix this. He hated when she gave him that look, the one that said she was so disappointed in him.

The boy gave a small sigh. He was better then this. He knew he was. He still wasn't that great on his people skills, but he knew he wasn't a bad student. He straighten up, lifting his chin. He could easily handle this and make Danica proud of him. He was the sum of her work.

And while Alejandro was still timid around the older candidates and the Pilots, he wasn't without any backbone. He had learned to harden himself in many ways, "So how does this work then?"

[Anonymous]

Danica's eyes were cold. Luckily Alejandro had been around her enough by now to know even when she shut some things off in her mind she still knew what she was doing and how she would be feeling if she could. She never put him in a dangerous position where she shut things off completely. Her hand squeezed his shoulder slightly. She knew she meant was she was saying, she just couldn't exactly feel it all the way in her bones right now.

"I couldn't have asked for a better student Allie. You have been fantastic. I'm not just saying that." She took a deep breath and her hands moved to his temples. She moved her fingers in circles there. One, to try and relax him, and two so she could start connected her mind to his. She moved slowly in his mind so that he wouldn't panic.

"You just have to relax and not fight me Alejandro. Just give over to the images when you start seeing them. Try and experience them like you're there, like they are your own. It would help to put your walls down as well, or as much as you can." It was always scary to have a Mentor tell you to put down your walls when they are second nature to you. She remembered when she was asked to do it. At first she hadn't even been sure how to do it.

She took in a couple deep breaths then went into her memories. She always liked to imagine her mind like one of those old libraries. Some of the books were old and paper. Some were just like holographs showing the memories. She has always thought abotu her memories this way. Walking through the library running her hands over the books and being able to feel what she felt going through the memories.

Finding herself in the battle and war section of her mind she looked for her fights as a Pilot. She gave a deep sigh. There it was. Her first fight as a Pilot.

[Anonymous]

For all that Danica had put Alejandro through in his years of training, he still trusted her completely. If she told him to walk off a cliff, he probably would stare at her for a minute like she was utterly crazy then start walking toward the cliff edge.

The praise made the boy flush a little, ducking his head slightly, "I'm glad I haven't disappointed you yet." He wasn't very naturally talented at these things and would never make a great Pilot. But he had almost made it through the program through sheer will power. And while he might never be a hero the way the other Pilots tended to be, but he had some different strengths.

The touch on his temples got a slight blush from the boy. He wasn't used to pretty girls touching him intimately, even if it was just his mentor. But the rubbing was nice and it helped him relax. Putting his walls down was always a little awkward, but Alejandro had very good control, it just took him a moment to wrap his brain around the idea.

He didn't lower them all the way, he just wasn't comfortable with that level of vulnerability. But they were low enough that he should be able to easily except the images and memories that Danica was going to be sending his way.

It was a little strange, having the memories of being a girl. Of feelings things just like he had been somewhere he had never been before. But he struggled to keep his shields down and let the images in.

[Anonymous]

Danica felt the memories wash over her like she was living them again. The pain and confusion of this moment hit her hard coming back. She and several other Pilots of assorted ranks stood in the office of the Pilot Imperial. She couldn't quite make out which Imperial it was. That part of the memory was fuzzy. As she always told people. SSDI, Same shit different Imperial. Roland even snicked at that one now and then. Her brow furrowed trying to make out the people.

She thought she spotted Marshal in line ahead of her, Seiteki was clear standing next to her. You couldn't forget someone like that. There were several Pilots who were clear. Most of them she noted would be the ones to pass. This memory was before she was a seeker and became much more dedicated to her job. Before her and Marshal's odd times together.

Danica had been in several battles over her lifetimes. Even wars. Involved in some way. This one however felt intensely different. The old her couldn't quite place why yet. she thought it was just the same fear of loosing people you knew. Even though Aedolis was normally on the winning side not everyone always came home. The memory faded and cut to something else.

It was all the Pilots of different ranks getting onto their dragons. The dragon were very clear in her mind. After all they were still all around. She picked out Gabe's dragon, Roman's, and Seiteki on hers. All the Pilots were now unsupervised and were picking at each other. Getting hyper and ready. None of them seemed to remain quiet before a battle. They were always chatting. It was nice to see the past even if she knew what was coming.

The memory cut again to somewhere else and it was the battle this time. The Pilots flew over the ground and were looking over the carnage of the lower level soldiers. Danica was piloting Roland. his voice in her head soothing her while pushing her.  She was panicked and scared. She realized why this felt so different. She had never felt so mentally connected to the people she fought with.

She pulled the cold, comforting blanket of apathy over her and set to her task in the fight.

[Anonymous]

It was a very weird experience to start feeling someone else memories. But Alejandro did his best to go along with them. He recognized several of the Pilots, all younger, other then Seiteki, who looked exactly the same.

He wasn't quite sure what was going on, or why Dancia had wanted him to see it. But he waited, watching. They seemed to be getting ready for a fight or a battle of some kind.

Now he was starting to get the idea. He was probably going to watch all the death and blood, that happened on both sides. Feel her pain and lose. The boy tensed a little, not really wanting to see or experience that. But he knew better then to try and stop it.

Just go along with it, handle it. Alejandro had been a candidate long enough to know how to do things he didn't like. So he waited, watching the memory.

[Anonymous]

The Danica who has been in the room with her candidate was gone. She was completely enveloped in the story of her past that she had almost forgotten about. This wasn't really a memory that she had visited often. It was not a favorite of hers in anyway. Seeing everyone again in the memory was starting to dig into her. Plus, she was starting to feel the dread. She knew where this particular memory was going.

The phoenix could feel the intense and precise movements of Piloting. She almost wished she could ride with her old self and point out things she was doing wrong or could do much quicker. she knew the younger version of herself would learn. It just felt strange and alien to her. Like this younger self wasn't her at all. Just someone who looked a lot like her...well identical to her.

Danica was waiting for the moment. She knew what was coming. She redirected her thoughts though. Focusing and guiding Alejandro's along with her own. She felt that undeniable high of being connected to the network flow through her in the memory. Though it was a dumb downed version without any of the information, the feeling still rang clear. This was one of the things she really wanted him to focus on. She wanted him to see both sides of the coin no matter what memory it was.

The insane euphoria of being connected. Realizing this was the reason to complete your goals, to become a pilot. That sheer strength of being behind the mind of a dragon. The feeling of all of that as your fingertips. They still controlled their movements as well, but there was this intense fusing, that you could only understand when it happened to you. It was like being in love with someone for so long that the two are undeniably a part of each other.

The memory seemed to zoom in across the battlefield. It was going towards another Pilot. All of Danica's focus was suddenly there. Her eyesight moved to a crackling cannon pointed at a large white dragon named Dura. She was pushing Roland across the field of battle forcing him to move. She tried to call out over the communications, in the memory it sounded so muffled. The dragon was turned away from the cannon. The Pilot inside of the large white female dragon who looked so graceful in the skies, was Pilot Epson.

Danica's breath caught in her throat in the memory and as she sat with her eyes closed. Scrunching them shut like she could prevent this moment from happening just by trying to direct it like a dream. Other memories flashed in front of her eyes that seemed to be superimposed over the battle. She would try and block them but it was too late for that, they would show in Alejandro's as well.

There was a memory of a dark haired Pilot. A skinny guy, very pale. He was looking across the classroom at Danica with yellow hawk eyes. He couldn't seem to look away from her. This younger Danica was constantly peeking over her shoulder at him. Biting her lip and trying to pay attention, but the stare always brought her back.

Another memory of the two of them in a closet somewhere staring at each other in an odd embrace. Both feeling strange not sure where to go from where they were. She pushed that memory along as their lips met their eyes closing. She felt a tear stream down her cheek in the present and her tongue snaked out to wipe it as it reached her lip. The last memory was faded around the edges. It only featured them. It was her huddled over and him holding her while she cried. Her wings were very apparent in this memory and they lit up the dark place where they were like it was on fire.

Those faded into nothing but stars in the memory of the battle. It went to Roland taking control of himself and rearing back as the large ball from the crackling cannon shot out. The black ball had blue electricity crackling around it. As Dura tuned to look at it head on the ball exploded into a sort of net and wrapped around her long neck then a strange sound, sort of like the absence of sound was heard, like what breaking the sound barrier might be like. Dura froze completely and fell from the sky. Her whole body covered in the electric crackling lights.

The sound that broke the silence was the terrifying, nail of chalkboard sound of some of the dragon's screeching with sorrow and others growling with rage. Roland was somewhere in between. Danica felt an intense pain in her chest, feeling her dragon's pain in her. She gritted her teeth against it. Trying to imagine how a dragon feels was beyond her until now. Though she guessed that this moment was still barely an inkling. the cannon below had stopped crackling. Danica was heading down towards the ground with Roland who's teeth bared in agreement.

Apparently they only had one of those bombs, and if they didn't they weren't going to get another one off.