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Author Topic: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)  (Read 763 times)

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Offline Lion

You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« on: August 20, 2017, 12:54:36 pm »
That jacket interception had been most fortuitous. It wasn't every day that Soleas could count himself lucky. Ah, well, life before candidacy didn't really count now. He didn't forget them, but from the way he saw it, he didn't actually start living until he came here. It was preferable than killing a rat and scarfing it down because you didn't know when your next meal would come from.

Vanessa though, he kind of felt bad that she was in the middle of all this. Sure the jacket was just the excuse, but if Aspen needed a jacket, he'd bring her one. Aspen clearly had a problem with him and he wasn't going to waste any more time stewing over it. He was one of the oldest Candidates here, and he just didn't have the time or patience for that kind of immature silent treatment anymore.

So after a few hard questions and the promise of cookies, Soleas made his way over to the library and lo and behold there she was. Studying. Oh. Well, didn't she like to show off how much she could read.  Soleas inwardly sneered, but a small bubble of pride swelled in his chest. And when he approached he table, he slammed the jacket down hard next to her.

"So why won't you talk to me?'

Offline Blink

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2017, 01:43:09 pm »
It shook the entire table the way he slammed the jacket down like that. Aspen hadn't even been paying attention either when Soleas did it. And if it were possible to literally jump out of your skin Aspen would have from it.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" A question to counter his own as she lowered her eyes to pretend to study again.

She was cold, just like she had been the last few days towards him. Simply avoiding him wasn't working anymore. It was obvious that Aspen was going to have to make Soleas just not want to talk to her anymore. It was in his best interest just to stay away, even if he didn't know it yet.

Offline Lion

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2017, 02:30:21 pm »
What kind of response was that? Because she clearly had no intention of answering his questions the easy way, Soleas sure as shit wasn't going anywhere until she did. Cold shoulder. Ha! As if Viktor wasn't practice enough to prepare his patience in melting ice. Soleas was quickly debating on whether or not it was a good idea that he didn't bake cookies ahead of time.

Cookies had been promised to Vanessa. As for Aspen, being as frigid as she was, no she was unworthy of cookies.

"I am you're fucking best friend, that's why. Or I thought I was. So no, I'm not leaving until I get a straight answer out of you on what problem you have with me, ok?" Soleas stated clearly, enunciating every word slowly. Just in case she needed him to slow down for her.

At least Viktor had been good enough to teach him that.

"It's me, Sol! I'm still the same idiot that suggested Crocnado pizza party! So if I did something, I'd like to know what it is, Brookes. I'm used to Viktor getting melodramatic over his nipples but you! You! Aspirin. I thought we could talk about anything."

Offline Blink

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2017, 03:25:40 pm »
Fingers tapped on the top of the table as Aspen tried to tune Soleas out. Why did he have to go and make everything so difficult? He needed to go away. His words hurt, she could tell her cold shoulder really was bothering him which was never her intent. She just wanted Soleas to be safe, all of them needed to be safe.

Reminding herself of why she was doing all of this Aspen slammed her book closed and stood up, completely ignoring Soleas at first. She even went as far as pushing the chair back under the table before she finally decided to acknowledge all the hurtful things he had just said.

Yes, Soleas was her friend. Her best friend just like he said.

"For someone who is supposed to be my best friend you really are acting like you don't know me at all. Do you honestly think me petty enough to be upset about something you did and not tell you?"

Aspen then walked around the table towards Soleas and patted his shoulder, tilting her head a bit as she tried to make herself seem as heartless as possible.

"So just to help you sleep at night let me say it again. You did nothing wrong Soleas. I'm just busy." Her eyes then flicked towards the wall. She couldn't look at him for the next part. "Maybe you should focus some of that energy on getting your own shit together instead of worrying about everyone else."

Immediately she regretted it. The very line made her feel like less of a person for even thinking it.

Offline Lion

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2017, 01:01:35 am »
She couldn't be fucking for real. Far be it from Soleas Baliska to have any actual grasp on reality outside of the usual shits and giggle shenanigans he pulled. Candidacy was serious business for some, and for others it was just a way to pass the time until graduation. It wasn't that Soleas didn't have any shit to do, but simply because he had enough time to do it in that life wasn't always hard work and how sweaty you could make your brow.

He finally found his place, and here Aspen thought she was going to ruin it alone by interacting with him. How could she expect him to function without his best amigo right next to him? Soleas shifted uncomfortably when Aspen moved closer to him. No, she couldn't be fucking for real. This wasn't the Aspen he knew. The mousy little bean that huddled over her piano and played music that made the hackles on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Honestly, yeah. You shy away from even the slightest contact with anyone else. Or you did before I got to know you. Because this cold shoulder shit gets really old really fast, and if you think I'm just going to let it slide, you've got another thing coming."

Solease moved to stand in her way, getting right up in front and rolling his shoulders. If she wanted to leave, she'd have to go through him.

"That's a shit response, Aspen and you know it. You've been avoiding me, and...goddammit, that shit hurts. If I was avoiding you, you'd feel the exact same way." He frowned and his expression softened.  But only slightly.

"I am getting my shit together. Look I am even starting to wiggle all my toes. But my shit is severely distraught when someone I trust...suddenly doesn't trust me. That shame shit, doesn't work. I know all *my* shortcomings, Aspen. I wonder if you know yours. Communication...ain't your strong suit."

Offline Blink

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2017, 01:24:31 am »
That cold unpenetrable facade Aspen had been holding up cracked the moment Soleas began talking again. With each word a bit of the wall she thought was keeping him safe began to break off, shattering Aspen in the process. If anything despite how agitated he was Aspen now saw how much Soleas truly cared. He noticed her, something she thought impossible.

Every word stung as it ripped away at that damn wall. Even worse she couldn't run away from it. Yeah, she could probably outrun him, but she would have to get past him in order to do that.

"Yeah, I've been avoiding you..." Aspen looked away, staring at the damn wall again as she tried to keep from looking at him. "... but your wrong, I do trust you. No matter what." She then looked down as she wrapped her arms around herself and kicked the toe of her shoe into the floor.

"And I need you to trust that the reason I am doing what I am doing is for your own good... for all of us." Her voice cracked. Aspen was barely keeping it together at this point, ready to burst at any second and tell Soleas everything. None of this was a game to her. This wasn't a ploy to get attention or make everything seem about her. It was her honest to god attempt at just keeping everyone safe. Vaughan's words hit Aspen like a ton of bricks when he said what he had in the chat.

This isn't summer camp. They are not here to make friends and have sleepovers or bake and break curfew. They were here to learn and train... nothing else.

"Can I go now.... please." Her request was sincere. She really did need to go or risk losing everything she had been working towards the last few days right there. The entire time she was still unable to look him in the eye.

Offline Lion

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2017, 02:22:39 am »
Soleas didn't really think about how close he'd gotten, that their physical proximity to one another could make it really easy for her to step on his toe, the vulnerable one, to crunch it into submission to get him to get out of her way. Weird. That would have been his first resort if someone was in his way. Soleas felt his cheeks grow hot. Yeah, weird. You could take the street rat out of the lower caste, but not the street rat out of the candidate.

"I know that," he grumbled, not taking a step back. Not daring to lose the ground he made both physically and metaphorically.

"I've seen or rather not seen Candidates you knew one night, then the next day they were just gone. Why on earth do you think I want to know what the hell is going on? Goddammit, Aspen. If it's going to be the last time we're going to talk, I think I deserve to at least see you smile. Let it be a good note. And if I'm going to get TRIMd it's going to be because of some shit I actually did. I didn't get this far to let it be any other ways. I finally have a chance to be something. And so do you. And I'm not letting you throw that away either."

He didn't even hesitate, even when she requested to leave. Request sorely denied. Soleas bit down on his lip and he slipped his arms underneath hers and slunk them around her middle. He wasn't the tallest man alive, but he was still taller than her and when she could fit right underneath in the crook of his chin, he fit her right there, against the base of his throat.

Momentary, before he pressed his head into her shoulder.

Offline Blink

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2017, 12:52:58 pm »
It wasn't easy not looking at him while he went on with all the reasons as to why he wasn't going anywhere. It was even harder keeping a somewhat descent face as he went on, constantly fighting the urge for it to twist into an ugly sobbing mess.

At first, when Soleas put his arms around her Aspen flinched, she wasn't sure why. Soleas had never hurt her and never given her a reason to be afraid, yet she still did. Silent she stood even while she was pressed against him like this. She was frozen, almost like when she could feel a panic attack coming on. Her body couldn't move, she couldn't think... she would shut down.

However, that was not what was happening here. She was frozen because if she moved even the tiniest fraction she would break. She would become an Aspen pile of rigid shards right there in the middle of the library. Why couldn't Soleas just leave well enough alone and let Aspen fight by herself?

Then it fell, not only the wall that started crumbling the moment Soleas slammed her jacket onto the table but also the first tear. Flashbacks of all the fun times she had when Soleas was around began flooding her. The laughing over baked goods, the races, and jokes. All of it, all of them. Every single candidate that ever laughed with her or caused a smile to form on her lips. Before them she was nothing.

She knew it was stupid, she knew it was reckless, she knew that counting on others to keep you sane was not the way to go through candidacy. But maybe for Aspen, it was. She was finally learning that not everyone wanted something from her other than just friendship. All of them were teaching her about a type of humanity she never thought existed. So what if she caught hell for depending on them?

None of them could understand and she didn't expect them to. Aspen would eventually learn to fight for herself, and she would learn it from all of them.

When Aspen broke she broke fast. The first tear quickly followed by more and more. Before she could get a grasp on it she found herself practically clinging to Soleas as she cried into him. "I'm so sorry Soleas," Aspen spoke between sobs. "I never meant to hurt you like this or anyone else. I just wanted to keep you guys safe from getting into trouble. I thought that I was going to get all of you Trim'd."

"I'm always the one starting things. It's always my fault when we break the rules. And Viktor..." Another wave of sobs rolled through at the very thought of her other closest friend. "He has so much to prove and I am just dragging him down." If Aspen could have hugged him any tighter she would have, even if it broke him in half.

Offline Lion

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2017, 02:17:16 am »
Reckless and self-destructive were words Soleas might have considered words to describe himself in his old life. That was in the past and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole somewhere and just disappear. The world would have been better off without him. Far removed from whatever light above, far removed from any possible future.

Thoughts that disappeared the moment he entered Candyland. He wanted to be here. He wanted to stay, and he wanted nothing more than to graduate. And despite her own tears, his own eyes began to burn with that sting of salt within the corners of them. Soleas squeezed her hard and said nothing, just listening to her. He didn't have to say a word, because she was saying everything he was feeling.

"You know as well as I do that if I'm getting Trim'd it's because of my own stupid ass actions," he murmured. Her sobs wracking against him made his hug her tighter. His toe aside, she could take the breath out of him if she wanted. He'd let her. Soleas took in a deep breath. "But it didn't happen, and it won't if I can help it.  I guess. But we don't have a say in it, all we can do is live each day to the fullest.

"I don't believe in lost causes, Aspen. You were never one. And I hoped you didn't think I was either. I'll take care of Viktor. Don't worry about him. But don't ever blame yourself for what happens in the future. You're my friend, fuck if that doesn't make you already one of the most important people in my life."

Soleas tucked his head into his shoulder, wiping at his eyes. "Now, if you're all settled and not beating yourself up, you're more than welcome to beat me up. Just don't stop on my toe or I'll throw you over that desk," he chuckled. Soleas didn't really wait for her to answer him before he reached down and squeezed her butt, because nobody else would get that opportunity. Ever. "You can squeeze mine if you want to."

Offline Blink

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2017, 11:52:42 am »
Soleas would probably never understand how much the words he just spoke touched Aspen. Him telling her she wasn't a lost cause, that she was one of the most important people in his life, those words immediately were locked away somewhere special forever within her. Aspen suddenly felt like she mattered and not just to Havanah. Her life, her very being, had affected someone in a good way. For once she didn't feel like a burden or the person who brings people down.

"Thank you Soleas" she whispered before he pulled away.

After wiping her own eyes she smirked. Leave it to Soleas to immediately jump to being sarcastic and silly after such an intense moment.

"I am not going to beat you up" she giggled, her voice still slightly rattled from the sobbing she had just partaken in. "Plus there is no way you could throw me over that desk without a-" Aspen's statement was interrupted by a light squeal as Soleas grabbed her butt.

"Dammit Soleas!" she screeched, reaching out to shove his shoulder with flushed cheeks. Her eyes then frantically scanned the library to see if anyone was watching, almost as if she should be ashamed of what he had just done.

"Can we not have one single conversation without you bringing my ass into it one way or another?" Her voice was soft as her eyes continued to shift around the library. "And no. I will not squeeze your butt."

Offline Lion

Re: You Got Something to Say, Say it to my Face (Blinkers!)
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2017, 01:15:04 pm »
Not everyone knew what it was like to be thrown away, discarded as if you didn't matter, or didn't exist in the first place. His dreams weren't as empty as they outwardly seemed to be. Aspen knew, she had plenty of knowledge of knowing what that was like. He didn't want her to think she was alone, because she wasn't. She was his friend, and in Soleas' book that meant she was family forever.

And like family, he couldn't help but fall back into the old teasing routine. Not, of course, when she made it so goddamn easy.

His toe was getting better. And would be pretty much back to working order soon enough. which mean that once it was all healed up he'd have to take his Final. And leave all of this, all the ones he knew, even the ones that hated him, behind. Soleas knew that was reality, despite not wanting to entertain such a thought. But it was better than being dead.

So much better than being forgotten.

He staggered backwards when she shoved him away.  But he stayed on his feet, injured toe be damned. "I thought that would bring you back to earth," he snickered and brought a finger up to his lips, shushing her. "It's a library, so you have to whisper."

"Okay, so, Aspen. Sorry for the butt squeeze, but just letting you know that's open invitation any time," he whispered, voice quiet enough to stay between them. "So this means we're good yes? And we can go into the Cafeteria and have lunch and we'll all be fine and dandy? Butt squeezes notwithstanding."

 

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