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Author Topic: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]  (Read 2435 times)

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chelle

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Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #40 on: June 11, 2012, 11:45:49 am »
Toori moaned appreciatively when he had the soup in his hands, prying the lid off and taking a deep breath. He started to eat the soup with gusto, only realizing how ravenous he was after he started eating, and he was glad the soup wouldn't irritate his sore throat.

"Tea?" Toori perked up almost comically at the mention of tea, taking the offered drink and moaning again, "Oh, you're amazing," he said, taking a deep sip of the tea. The fever was still playing havoc with his senses and his mind, and no doubt without the fever he would have been much more reserved in his praising Jaxon. As it was, though, he shot Jaxon a very grateful look and turned his full attention back to his lunch.

It didn't take him long to finish the tea and soup, and by the time he placed the empty containers on his bedside table he was yawning.

"Oh, that was delicious," he said, relaxing back into his pillows and sniffling, "I think I need some sleep now," he admitted, sinking down into his bed and pulling the blankets back up, and then stopping to look up at Jaxon, "You'll be here when I wake up, right?"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #41 on: June 11, 2012, 04:48:33 pm »
Jaxon smiled halfheartedly as Toori expressed his gratitude with sincere looks of appreciation and words of approval. They didn't affect him as well as they would have regularly, because he was still fairly raw from their earlier argument. Though they'd exchanged their apologies, Jaxon couldn't shake his earlier feeling about wanting to mean more to Toori than just a friend. It wasn't like Jaxon wanted to be his family-- it wasn't like he felt familial towards Toori. Not whatsoever. But he did want more, and that left him distinctly uncomfortable. Since it had settled on his mind, it had become unshakable, most especially because it caused him to realize he acted less like a friend and more like something else when it came to Toori.

These thoughts occupied his mind mercilessly, causing him to act a little absentminded as he ate his food slowly and quietly. His mind was certainly elsewhere, and he wasn't even bothering to not be obvious about it. They finished their food at about the same time, and Jaxon watched as Toori settled down, saying he needed to sleep. The question caught him by surprise, though, making him look at Toori directly, unguarded because he knew that he would most certainly be here, at Toori's side, and knew Toori wanted him there... knew this all meant something. He smiled a little and nodded. "You should take your medicine before you sleep," he added, handing him the medicine from the nightstand.

"So where do you expect me to sleep then if you want me to stay?" Jaxon teased, mostly joking though maybe there was a part of him that would have liked to sleep with Toori again as they had when they drank together.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #42 on: June 11, 2012, 05:16:35 pm »
Toori nodded when Jaxon told him to take the medicine, reluctantly sitting up again to reach for water and the pills. He swallowed the medicine and then looked back at Jaxon, vaguely surprised at his question. He looked around the room like he expected a second bed to have sprung out of somewhere while he wasn't paying attention.

He hadn't really thought that far ahead, and he frowned as he considered it. Their only spare room was Toori's workshop, which meant the most logical place for Jaxon to sleep was downstairs on the couch. But the couch was so far away, and Toori felt something like a lurch in his guts at the thought of Jaxon being all the way downstairs and not right next to him.

"I don't know..." he said, feeling slightly miserable, "The couch, I guess... But I don't want you to go away." He looked back up at Jaxon, his eyes big and sad and perilously close to pouting.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #43 on: June 11, 2012, 05:47:55 pm »
Jaxon smiled a little more with amusement and less uncomfortably as a rather miserable expression took over Toori's face. He was nearly pouting, which wasn't something he was used to, and that might have been the exact reason why Jaxon found it so unavoidably cute. Still, there was hardly a good solution as to where he would sleep. He wasn't going to sleep on the floor or sleep sitting up, at least not multiple times, or else he'd be sore for ages.

"Scoot over," he ordered, smiling softly. He had gotten the impression over the time he'd known Toori that he was easy to intimidate when it came to closeness, especially of the physical sort, so he tried to tread lightly rather than just launching himself onto the bed.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #44 on: June 11, 2012, 06:32:58 pm »
Surprise took the place of his pouting when Jaxon told him to scoot over, and it took a moment for Toori to realize what he meant. When he did figure it out he couldn't help the relief that flooded him. Toori hated being sick as a rule, he hated feeling helpless and having to rely on someone else, but what he hated more than just feeling helpless was actually being helpless, with no one to take care of him when he didn't notice how sick he was.

But then a red flag started waving weakly in his mind. It took him a moment to figure out what the problem was, what about Jaxon sleeping next to him was a problem? It didn't occur to him to get nervous about it, but instead remembered the danger.

"But! But you'll get sick too," he protested, though it was a halfhearted protest at best because as he said it he was scooting towards the wall and pulling down the blankets so that Jaxon could slide in.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #45 on: June 11, 2012, 06:49:56 pm »
Jaxon laughed as Toori protested, at the same time scooting over and lifting the blankets. "Not a convincing argument when you're letting me come in anyway," he teased, moving off the edge of the bed where he sat to slide off his shoes and join Toori. He wasn't very careful about how close he came to the other-- after all, Jaxon didn't have the same reservations about proximity that Toori did. "Don't worry, I won't get sick," he assured him, though he really had no reason to say such a thing so confidently. Jaxon had a tendency to get sick very easily. Still, why worry Toori? He wanted to be there for him and if that involved a tiny risk, so be it. He turned on his side to face Toori as he adjusted the blankets, pulling them over himself and Toori. There was so little distance between them, but Jaxon wasn't nearly as oblivious as usual. This trip had been illuminating in that way, forcing him to stop intentionally disregarding his own feelings. It was unfamiliar- allowing this sort of clarity to take place- but it didn't bother him much. He felt comfortable as he looked at Toori, head resting on the pillow.

"Go to sleep," Jaxon said softly, so it sounded less like a demand and more like a suggestion. He let his eyes slide shut with a sigh.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2012, 07:56:19 pm »
Toori watched Jaxon get into bed fondly, his protestations all but forgotten almost as soon as he'd voiced them. The pull of sleep and the fog of his fever made him oblivious to their physical proximity, so while under normal circumstances he might have been having a miniature panic attack at this point, now he just felt pleased. Pleased that Jaxon was here, pleased that Jaxon cared about him, pleased that Jaxon existed at all.

Jaxon settled down into the bed and Toori sighed, finding comfort in the extra warmth and searching out Jaxon's hand under the blankets. Toori felt sleep pulling insistently and for once gave over to the urge without thinking about anything.

Toori quickly fell into sleep, though not as deeply as he would have if he wasn't so feverish. The fever seemed to infect his dreams as well, regardless of Jaxon's soothing presence at his side. The dreams were strange and unsettling, only flashes on images and feelings with no discernible story or purpose. There was only one running theme of it all: fire.

There was fire everywhere, licking up the walls and crowding in around him, crackling bright and stinging his eyes. He saw his parents, lost in the fire, crying out with no way of being saved. He saw his grandfather as well, slowly turning into ash before Toori's eyes, completely helpless as well. Then he saw Jaxon, and that was the worst of it, Jaxon's face flickering in firelight, his grin with his pointed teeth glinting from the wrong side of the fire. He was smiling, telling Toori to turn around, to leave, but Toori was frozen, no way of saving anyone he loved from the all-consuming fire. The fire was everywhere, all around Toori and it was consuming him as well, but only last. Only after he'd lost everything else.

Toori was thrashing around in the bed and groaning, but too lost in the fever-dream to wake up.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #47 on: June 11, 2012, 08:09:29 pm »
Jaxon felt a ghost of a smile cross his face as Toori found his hand, returning the gesture readily. It felt so natural to be this way with Toori that he hardly questioned it at all, though he did blink his eyes open just barely to gaze at the other for a moment. Toori was well on his way to sleep, eyes already closed, and he seemed more peaceful now than before. Content that he'd brought Toori some ease--done what he'd intended- Jaxon let himself close his eyes once more and took a deep breath, shifting until he was comfortable. He didn't fall asleep immediately, though he felt incredibly relaxed and his mind was incredibly clear. He felt like he was home, and that feeling nursed him to sleep.

When he awoke, it was sudden and rather unexpected. Toori was thrashing around beside him, groaning painfully. Jaxon registered this immediately, any grogginess absent and replaced by worry. His eyes snapped open and he sat up slightly and twisted his body towards Toori, pushing himself onto his elbows. "Toori? Are you okay?" he asked quietly but urgently, mistakenly thinking that Toori was in pain or something was wrong. But he soon realized that it was not so. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw that Toori's eyes were still closed. A nightmare, then. Jaxon frowned as he looked on at Toori, knowing well how it was to be haunted by nightmares. He'd dealt with it for a long time, and still did more than he cared to admit.

Jaxon reached out and placed his palm on Toori's chest gently. "Toori," he said, louder but not unkindly. "Toori, wake up. It's just a dream," he assured him, his hand sliding up to stroke the other's hair soothingly.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #48 on: June 11, 2012, 08:19:31 pm »
Toori woke with a start, but didn't realize he was awake right away. He mistook Jaxon for more danger, more fire reaching for him and burning him, and he twisted away, eyes wide open but not seeing. He pushed one arm out towards Jaxon, elbowing him in the gut and wriggling to get away, whimpering in fear.

A moment later he realized how dark it was, and how there was no fire here, and fell still almost instantly. His eyes snapped over to Jaxon, actually seeing him for the first time since he woke up, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he gasping in breaths. His vision swam, and he belatedly realized it was tears welling up in his eyes and he didn't have the energy to fight them.

"Jaxon?" he asked, his voice small and wrecked.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #49 on: June 11, 2012, 08:29:04 pm »
Jaxon was unsurprised when Toori pushed him away, not having expected a good response from the other. Being awoken from a nightmare was never immediate relief; it was an uncomfortable transition that only caused more pain. Jaxon hated waking up from the nightmares more than he hated the nightmares themselves, because though their content was sometimes unreal, the pain they caused was always real- crushingly, oppressively so. And Toori's whimpers reminded Jaxon of that feeling, the despair of escaping the cruel and merciless reality of dreams but knowing the fear was still there.

He had opened his mouth to speak to Toori once more as he turned away, to stop the whimpering that was tugging at his heart, but suddenly Toori fell still and turned back to look at him. Jaxon watched as the realization swam over Toori's face, mixing in with pain and sadness. His voice was raw and weak when he spoke, and Jaxon saw the slightest glimmer of moisture in Toori's eyes. He was doing it before he could stop himself- Jaxon scooted closer immediately and slid his arms around Toori, bringing him in. "It was just a dream," he repeated, "You're okay." Jaxon reached up and stroked his hair again. It was what he'd always wished would happen every time he awoke from his own nightmares.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

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Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #50 on: June 11, 2012, 08:55:08 pm »
Jaxon didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around Toori and Toori whimpered again, but this time it was more from relief than fear. The nightmare was still right there, right at the edge of his periphery, but Jaxon was more immediate than that. Jaxon was warm, and Jaxon was all around him, his arms around and his hand on his hair and Toori let out a shuddering breath, relaxing by degrees into Jaxon. He buried his face into Jaxon's shoulder and reached up to return the hug, his arms wrapping around Jaxon's middle and holding tight.

"Jaxon," Toori repeated, mostly just to feel the name on his tongue, to reassure himself that Jaxon was here, that Jaxon was fine. As the fear started to ebb away Toori realized how dizzy and awful he felt, physically and mentally. The nightmare had been his worst fears, the thing he couldn't go a day without worrying about, and Toori wanted so badly to not worry about it anymore.

"There was fire everywhere," he said after a little while, his voice muffled because he still had his face in Jaxon's shoulder, "Everywhere, and it was burning everything, and you... You were..." Toori choked off, unable to finish that sentence, his arms tightening around Jaxon's middle as he took a few shuddering breaths, trying to ward off the tears that were threatening to overflow.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

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Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #51 on: June 11, 2012, 09:10:32 pm »
Jaxon breathed a sigh of relief as Toori buried his face in his shoulder and returned the hug, wrapping his arms around his middle responsively. Jaxon gave Toori a light squeeze, pressing his face into the other's hair as Toori said his name weakly. A silence fell over them and Jaxon stayed still as he held Toori and stroked his hair gently, trying to bring him as much comfort as he could without overstepping his boundaries and asking what happened. He didn't think Toori would talk about what he'd dreamt, and he was surprised when the other did.

He lifted his head and listened carefully as Toori started to form an image for him, beginning to give him a vague idea of what had happened. Knowing what he did about Toori's past, the pieces fell into place easily and Jaxon felt an incredible amount of sympathy and compassion for Toori. He still dreamt about his mother's suicide from time to time, and it was a terrifying thing. Being forced to relive the worst moments of one's life... Jaxon hated nightmares like those more than any. Though there was another surprise in store for him when he discovered how this dream was different-- He had been in it. His eyes widened at this, as Toori tightened his grip and took a few shaky breaths. Jaxon hadn't expected to be a part of the nightmare, to be something Toori was seemingly afraid of losing, and he hardly knew what to say.

"I'm right here, Toori, I'm okay," he assured him softly. Jaxon let his hand move slowly up and down Toori's back soothingly. "I'm not going anywhere. It was just a dream." Jaxon pushed his other hand through Toori's hair one last time before winding around to find the other's hand and take it. "You don't have to worry about me," he gave Toori's hand a soft squeeze.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #52 on: June 11, 2012, 09:28:47 pm »
Jaxon's voice was soothing and reassuring, and Toori felt himself relax even more in Jaxon's grip. It was just a dream, Jaxon said, and that time Toori realized it-- it had just been a dream, just a nightmare most likely brought on by his fever. Toori let out a sigh that didn't quake as badly as it had, feeling calmer as he felt Jaxon's fingers curl around his own.

Toori pulled back a little and it was like pulling off a band aid, slow and excruciating, but he had to look up into Jaxon's face. He searched Jaxon's face for a long moment, assuring himself that Jaxon was all right, and then he sighed and buried his face in Jaxon's neck again.

"I do worry, though," he admitted quietly, "I always worry."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #53 on: June 11, 2012, 09:39:49 pm »
Jaxon loosened his grip on Toori and dropped his arm, allowing him to pull back from the embrace as much as he wanted to- which didn't turn out to be much at all, but just enough for them to look at each other quietly. Sitting in the dark gazing at Toori in the silence, hands holding tightly, Jaxon felt that familiar force that seemed to always want to pull him closer to Toori. He wished actively for the first time (though he knew the idea had been forming for long) that he could kiss Toori then. He wanted to kiss him. And that would have been a more terrifying thought if he hadn't been so tired and if the grogginess that should have hit him earlier wasn't settling over him now.

But before he could even pursue such a thing, Toori sighed and hid his face in his neck. Jaxon let him, placing his free hand on his waist. Recognizing the placement of his hand as being a touch too intimate, Jaxon slid his hand around and rubbed his back once more. "We all worry about something," he told him. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. But you really don't have to worry about me. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere right now. I'm here as long as you need me.."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

chelle

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #54 on: June 11, 2012, 09:56:15 pm »
Toori's grip tightened on Jax when he tried to reassure Toori again, but this time his words had the opposite effect. No matter what Jaxon's efforts were, something horrible and unavoidable could happen, or Jax could realize how Toori wasn't worth it, how he was too much work and not enough payoff and just decide to walk away. It was always a possibility, no matter how small that possibility was, and that was what Toori worried about.

After all, Toori had heaps of proof that no matter what you believed, the horrible things would happen anyways. You would lose your parents. You would watch your grandfather wilt away before your eyes. At the same time Jaxon's leaving him seemed impossible and inevitable.

"No, I'll always worry. No matter what," he insisted, but there was no vehemence in his voice. Ever since the fear and panic had drained from him he felt exhausted, not to mention his pounding head and aching muscles, and he felt sleep pulling at him again.

But Jaxon was here now, and that seemed more important than worrying about things that might happen in the future. Right now Jaxon was here, right now Jaxon was warm and soft and comforting, right now Jaxon was the best friend Toori had ever had, and right now Toori wasn't going to let go of him for anything.

"No matter what," he whispered again into Jaxon's neck, already half asleep.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

Jenny

  • Guest
Re: The reception's gotten fuzzy [Jaxon]
« Reply #55 on: June 11, 2012, 10:11:31 pm »
Jaxon pulled a frowned as Toori disagreed with him, saying he would always worry no matter what. He couldn't say he didn't understand the feeling. Like Toori, he was the type to always have something or other on his mind, eating away at him. And he had nothing to say about that- he knew it couldn't be helped. The best that he could do was to keep being there for Toori. Jaxon's words wouldn't change things as much as his actions could. So rather than say anything more, he gave his hand a squeeze and stayed as he was, allowing Toori to lean on him.

He could tell that the other was exhausted, feel it somehow, and Toori's sleepy whisper only confirmed that for him. Jaxon shushed him- not unkindly- and continued to rub his back until his breathing deepened and slowed. Knowing that he was asleep now, Jaxon pulled his hand away and instead wrapped both arms around Toori in order to slowly ease him down so that he was laying once more. Effectively having trapped one arm beneath Toori, Jaxon gave up trying to help it at all and let himself sleep as he was, with his arms around him. He liked it better this way.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 pm by Guest »

 

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