Our conversations are like minefields [Toori]

[Jenny]

If Jaxon hadn't been as drunk as he was, he would have been a little terrified by his own thoughts... When Toori laughed and smiled at him, Jaxon found himself thinking about what a nice smile the blond had, what a nice laugh. And he was eerily okay with that, as ridiculous and unwelcome as the thought was-- or at least would have been. Right now, it wasn't. Jaxon just felt good; warm and bubbly and happy, and if his mind kept circling around Toori, he wouldn't bother to beat himself up over it. (When he was more sober, he would blame it on the fact that he was a horny drunk and Toori was the only other person around.)

Suddenly, he realized he hadn't been listening very much, and he was grateful when Toori reminded him of the game. "You are awful," he agreed, trying to set his mind to coming up with another statement as he ran a hand through his hair. "I can't think of anything," he whined, momentarily very upset by this before he changed his mind altogether. "Okay, screw the game. Final shots." Jaxon took another gulp before putting the cap on the bottle and placing it down on the floor. He then proceeded to fall back on Toori's bed, looking up at the ceiling. He wasn't tired, he was just a little tired of things spinning around.

"Hey, you're like, my best friend, Toori," he announced.

[chelle]

Toori watched Jaxon, amused, and glad he had enough of a mind to be amused at Jaxon's drunk antics instead of being that far gone himself. Jaxon seemed content to talk, being as dramatic as possible before calling off the game and taking one last shot. Toori obediently took another drink from the bottle before screwing the cap back on (and noticing vaguely that it was a lot harder than he remembered to screw the cap onto a bottle) and placing it next to Jaxon's bottle. He also noticed that Jaxon's bottle was only half-full, whereas Toori's bottle was closer to three-quarters full, and he couldn't help but smile at that. He hoped Jaxon wouldn't throw up in his bed.

Jaxon flopped back on the bed and when he spoke again, telling Toori he was his best friend, Toori didn't know whether to laugh or blush. Honestly, he was touched, no matter how drunk Jax was. He knew Jax wouldn't lie about something like that, and as much as he had suspected that was true for himself, that Jax was Toori's best friend, it felt so good to hear it went both ways. After a moment Toori sighed, and then shuffled over to lay on his side next to Jaxon. He curled one arm up under his head and was not as careful about maintaining distance between them as he should have been.

"You're my best friend too," Toori said quietly, opting to be honest and more than willing to blame that honesty on the alcohol, "I never really had one before. Or, should I say, never have I had a best friend?" Toori gave a little hiccuping laugh, "But we put away the bottles."

[Jenny]

It certainly meant something that Jaxon- even while drunk- was still perceptive enough about Toori and Toori's feelings to be worried by the silence and eventual sigh. Even though his mind could barely focus on a single thought, Jaxon nonetheless began to wonder if he'd said something wrong. Assuming he did almost instantly, he was prepared to sit up again, deciding to apologize to Toori (for what, he didn't even know), but then the blond was suddenly next to him and everything was right in the world. Jaxon rolled onto his side to face Toori with a content smile, glad that he didn't say something wrong, glad that Toori was so close.

His smile only widened when Toori told him that he was his best friend, too, punctuating his words with a hiccuping laugh which Jaxon was hard pressed to deny was incredibly cute. "I've never had a best friend like you," he managed, though even he didn't know what that actually meant... All he knew was that the closer he came to Toori, the more he wanted to kiss him. He scooted just a tiny bit closer, running his hand through the other's hair idly. Something stopped him from going further, though.. He just knew that he couldn't just do it. It wouldn't be okay, and it would screw things up. He felt frustrated at this thought, unsure why he wasn't letting himself do this if he so wanted to. He toyed with a strand of Toori's hair, not even realizing the pout on his own face that clearly said 'I want something I can't have'. Realizing he hadn't said anything else, Jaxon managed to murmur, "You're too cute for your own good."

[chelle]

At Jaxon's reply Toori frowned a little, wondering what that meant. It could be a compliment, but it could also mean that Toori was a horrible best friend and Jaxon had never known anyone to be such a horrible best friend. He didn't think that was what Jaxon meant, but it was hard to be sure, and when Jaxon didn't elaborate Toori's suspicion only heightened.

Toori had no idea what Jaxon was up to when he scooted closer and had even less of an idea when Jaxon's fingers carded through his hair. Normally, Toori would have backed away from such obvious affection, but the alcohol weakened his reserve and where he would have panicked he just just sighed a little, and not unhappily. Truthfully, Jaxon's fingers just felt nice.

When Jax spoke again, his voice quiet, Toori couldn't help but blush. He frowned, realizing Jaxon was pouting at him and Toori couldn't fathom why. He turned his head into his arm, hiding his face from Jaxon. Jaxon was probably just flirty when he was drunk, and would compliment anyone who would listen.

"Jaxon," Toori admonished quietly, "Don't." He was really objecting to the compliment more than their proximity or Jaxon's fingers in his hair, because he didn't really want either of those things to stop.

[Jenny]

As a blush spread across Toori's cheeks, Jaxon smiled a little, felt his chest tighten with that familiar sensation that he too often smothered with denial. The fact of the matter was, he was too drunk to resist the feeling of infatuation that swept over him when he saw Toori hide his face cutely.. It would have taken too much effort and self-control and discipline that he wasn't capable of displaying while drunk, so he didn't even bother trying. He just kept his eyes on Toori, a smile on his lips.

Though Toori admonished his behavior, he also didn't move away, and Jaxon found that interesting, deciding that he wouldn't either. He stayed close and gently pushed his hand through Toori's hair again, focusing on the feeling of the soft blond strands passing through his fingers. "Sorry," he offered quietly after a moment. "I'm not annoying you, am I?" he asked, amused by his own tone of concern. Usually, Toori would be jumping to call him annoying and he would be agreeing. Now Jaxon just wanted Toori to tell him that it was okay for him to be around, to be close.

[chelle]

When Jaxon's fingers moved with more intent Toori couldn't help but relax, surrendering to the feeling of someone else's fingers on his scalp. It was strangely comforting, and suddenly Toori felt completely at ease here, despite (or perhaps because of) how close Jaxon was and how intimate this felt. Toori thought that if this was what having a best friend was like, he was never giving Jaxon up.

Jaxon apologized, and Toori smiled, hoping Jax couldn't see the smile where his face was still pressed to his arm. Usually Jaxon did things without a thought for the consequences, and hardly ever apologized for his own actions, but this apology didn't sound strange. It was nice, seeing this soft, tender side of Jaxon that Toori had never witnessed before. He could get used to this Jaxon.

"You're not too annoying," Toori said, his voice muffled by his arm. Toori felt loose-limbed and relaxed in a way he hardly ever felt; there always seemed to be something that Toori could find to worry about, but the alcohol had pleasantly dimmed those thoughts and left Toori's mind blank and comfortable. Toori turned his head a little, just enough to peek out at Jaxon, who was still very close. Then he closed his eyes and made a small pleased sound in the back of his throat.

"Don't stop," he said, his voice now muffled by his arm and by how relaxed he felt, "Feels good."

[Jenny]

The muffled reassurance Toori offered had Jaxon chuckling a bit, with relief, and with amusement as well. He knew that Toori was only kidding when he said that he wasn't too annoying, and if Toori was capable of joking with him right now, then everything must have been fine. He was glad for that, because he was certainly not drunk enough to be okay with making him uncomfortable, though he was drunk enough to take the moment at face value and not want it to stop.

As Toori turned his head to look at him once more, Jaxon immediately registered the look on his face as one of contentment and he smiled lightly, his hand still smoothing through his hair. Toori closed his eyes and made a pleased sound, and Jaxon's stomach was in knots again. No longer under Toori's scrutiny, Jaxon let his eyes follow every sharp line and delicate slope of Toori's face which was visible to him, eventually falling to his lips as he spoke, telling him not to stop- that it felt good. He almost sighed from the frustration he felt bubbling up inside him, but he managed not to somehow.

Instead Jaxon allowed his hand to stray closer to Toori's cheek, fingers grazing skin lightly as he brushed away any strands that lingered on his face, pushing them back with the next stroke of his hand. Toori's ear and neck were completely bare and visible to him now, and Jaxon did sigh at the sight. Toori was so open and vulnerable at the moment that it seemed wrong to him to feel the way he did. "Are you tired?" he asked, trying to get his mind off his pounding heart and the warmth spreading up his neck.

[chelle]

Toori felt sleep pulling at him like an anchor, its tug gentle but relentless, and Jaxon's fingers didn't help any. His hand strayed from Toori's scalp down to the sensitive skin on his neck, and Toori sighed a little at how nice that felt. Jaxon's hand was gentle and not exactly soft, but rough in a way that was just as nice. It took him a moment to register Jaxon's words as a question, and Toori hummed in the back of his throat.

"I'm just... Closing my eyes... For a minute..." he explained, his voice slurred by sleep and making it fairly obvious that Toori was about a minute away from falling asleep.

If he was awake enough to do so, he would have marveled at this moment; Jaxon bare inches away, his hands on Toori's neck and in his hair, and Toori, not only allowing it but encouraging it, it wasn't a situation Toori had ever anticipated sharing with Jax. Hell, it wasn't a situation he had anticipated sharing with anyone. Toori was happy here, happy to be so relaxed in his bed surrounded by Jaxon's smell, happy in a way he hadn't been in a long time, maybe forever.

Soon the anchor-pull of sleep became too relentless and Toori's breathing evened out as he slipped into unconsciousness.

[Jenny]

Jaxon smiled a bit as Toori slurred out something about closing his eyes for a minute, well aware that the other would be asleep soon in spite of his words. Though he was enjoying the moment, he was still relieved that the other was going to sleep. He didn't trust himself much at this point, knew that he could only control himself for so long. He kept up stroking Toori's hair until he knew the other was asleep, his breathing even and silent. He paused. "Asleep?" Jaxon whispered just to be sure, running his hand through Toori's hair one last time before dropping his palm on his shoulder blade. 

Jaxon watched Toori for a moment or so before scooting away and getting off the bed to turn off the light. He hesitated then, considering leaving and going downstairs. But he couldn't bring bimself to do it. Jaxon made his way back to the bed and felt his way on, ending up closer than he'd been before. His head pillowed by his arm, Jaxon closed his eyes and fell asleep thinking of Toori's smile.

[chelle]

Toori woke up slowly, and the first thing he registered was how warm and comfortable he was. He couldn't recall feeling so great in his own bed before, but he didn't question it as he floated in the pleasant stretch between asleep and awake. He slowly became aware of a stripe of heat over his belly and a similar heat stretched all along his back. It wasn't unpleasant, and in his half-awake state he didn't question that either. It wasn't until he stretched a little and shifted back into the heat that he realized something was amiss.

Someone made a sleepy sound, like a grunt, and Toori knew he hadn't made that noise. Just after the noise the stripe of heat over Toori's stomach curled more insistently around him and Toori realized it was an arm. Toori froze and his eyes snapped open as this realization washed over him; he wasn't alone, and Jaxon was spooned up against his back. Toori didn't dare move a muscle as Jax shifted closer to him and then settled, seemingly still fast asleep. He desperately beat back the panic that struck him, he was unsure why or how he had ended up like this and for a terrifying moment he thought maybe they had done something.

Toori took note of all his arms and legs, and with a glance down ascertained that he was wearing clothes, though they were the clothes he had worn yesterday. Jax had one of his legs wedged up between Toori's and they felt hopelessly tangled, but Toori could feel that Jax was still clothed as well, which was an immense relief.

Suddenly he remembered what had happened; nothing they would regret, though there was a fuzzy part at the end. Had he really fallen asleep so close to Jax? Had Jax really been stroking Toori's face?

These were good questions, but not good when Toori was still wrapped in Jaxon, so he extracted himself as carefully as he could manage. Jaxon, thankfully, was still sleeping soundly as Toori slipped out from under his arm and got out of bed. He spared Jax a cursory glance, Jaxon was still sprawled on the bed and looked curiously like he was missing something, but Toori didn't dwell on it as he bolted from the room and into the bathroom.

While in the bathroom he decided that 'not dwelling on it' was the perfect course of action here, and on that note he went downstairs to start on breakfast without going back to his bedroom.

[Jenny]

Fifteen minutes or so after Toori left the room, Jaxon himself began to awaken. He reached out sleepily, expecting, for whatever reason, to find something there. When he didn't, he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in his arms with a sleepy groan. He felt as though he'd slept for ages, and slept well at that, but he had the familiar headache that always followed a night of drinking, and felt distinctly like something was missing. Opening his eyes slowly, Jaxon lifted his head and pushed himself to sit up and look around. Toori.

The memory of the previous night rushed back to him suddenly, surprising him and making the throbbing of his temples distinctly stronger. He winced in what was some mixture of embarrassment and regret, hiding his face in his hands. What had he been doing last night, acting that way around Toori? Jaxon was well aware that he was an incorrigibly horny drunk, handsy and careless, and he rarely went home alone when he drank a lot-- always found one person to mess around with.. But not the way.. Not the way it was with Toori, he thought pointedly. He'd not been looking to have sex with Toori when he touched him or acted the way he did. He'd just been doing what he felt was right, saying whatever came to mind.

And that was significantly more terrifying than the idea of having sex with Toori. If he'd had sex with Toori, it would have seemed normal to him, and he'd know exactly how to go about it. After all, it had happened before; getting carried away with friends while drinking... Jaxon would just wake up, make some cheeky comment about how good the sex was, and then thrown in a good-natured tease just to assure the other that nothing had changed, they were still just friends (friends who couldn't keep it in their pants).

This was so different that it left him reeling, and Jaxon suddenly realized on top of it all that he'd never, not once slept in the same bed as another person like that, not preluded by sex or anything, but just because he wanted to. And he'd enjoyed it; remembered waking up at some point and getting closer to Toori and holding him in the haze of half-sleep.

Jaxon's stomach plummeted with discomfort, but he refused to follow the logical thought process that would let him know exactly why he had acted the way he did. Instead he focused on the now. He could hear sounds coming from the kitchen downstairs, the familiar smell of breakfast wafting up to his nose. He opened his eyes and dropped his hands, taking a deep breath. They had fun last night, before things got weird. And they'd only gotten weird because he was drunk, because he cared about Toori as a friend, and Toori made him feel affectionate sometimes. That was it.

Having assured himself in some way, Jaxon made his way to the bathroom and washed up. He had a terrible case of bedhead, but didn't waste his time with it. He'd shower, later. When he was done, he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Seeing Toori, Jaxon remembered more of his thoughts from last night convening with his sober thought. Toori was his friend, he reminded himself. His best friend. He wouldn't let things get weird.

"Hey," he greeted cheerfully, putting forth a great effort not to sound as affected as he was.

[chelle]

Toori threw himself into making breakfast, first he made a bowl of oatmeal and brought it to his grandfather and then started in on making something for him and Jax. It was easier this way, to turn his full attention on something else, than to think about waking up this morning and falling asleep last night.

Of course, it was impossible to not think about it, about how warm and safe he'd felt, how comfortable. Toori had never expected to feel so comfortable in someone else's arms, and though he knew-- he knew that kind of thing usually meant something, something big and scary and romantic, there was no reason to believe that this time. He and Jax were friends, and it was easy, and Toori knew what they wanted from each other and it had nothing to do with sex.

And it wasn't as if last night had had anything to do with sex, either. It was just sleep. Toori thought if anything he should be grateful for the good night's sleep, he had never slept in the same bed as anyone else, and now he could see the appeal. There was certainly something comforting in sleeping with someone at your side, knowing when you woke up in the middle of the night that you weren't alone. Sometimes Toori dreamed of fire and screaming, dreams that didn't make sense but left him shaking and sweating in the middle of the night, and with Jax at his side the dreams left him alone.

When Jax walked into the kitchen Toori jumped a little, not expecting him so soon, but smiled brightly when he saw him.

"Good morning!" Toori said, sticking to his plan to not speak about what had happened, "I'm making pancakes. And there's coffee." He gestured to a carafe on the counter with an empty mug already sitting in front of it, waiting for Jax.

[Jenny]

Though tense upon entering, Jaxon started to calm down when Toori spoke, comforted by his happy greeting; it seemed like a reassurance that everything was okay. Everything was okay, Jaxon decided. Last night would only be a big deal if he made a big deal out of it. And there was hardly a need for that. He promptly shoved down the memory and all the feelings and thoughts that had accompanied it.

"Look at you, slaving over breakfast," he teased as he crossed the room, picking up the carafe and pouring himself coffee. He didn't bother asking about sugar or milk, as he liked coffee best when it was black. He took a seat with the mug and drank from it like a man dying of thirst. The caffeine was always a great help with the headache business, and besides that, he loved coffee. "You're the best mom," Jaxon said with a chuckle, watching Toori cook with amusement.

[chelle]

Toori raised an eyebrow at Jaxon's sarcastic comments, most of his attention on the griddle. He didn't want to burn anything, but that didn't mean he couldn't snark right back.

"I thought you were the mom," Toori said, casting a quick smirk at Jax while he took a momentary break from babysitting his pancakes to refill his own coffee cup. He added a couple of spoonfuls of sugar from a jar sitting open near the coffee, stirring it a few times before taking a sip.

"And you shouldn't tease the hand that makes you pancakes," Toori said, waving his spatula in a mildly threatening way.

Toori was slightly surprised at how quickly they had both sunk into this, pretending nothing had happened, and Toori supposed nothing had happened. Maybe Jaxon had been so drunk that he didn't remember any of it, maybe Jaxon had woken up in Toori's bed and assumed Toori had crashed on the couch. It was a reasonable line of logic, but Toori would be slightly disappointed if it was true. No matter how awkward the waking up had been, Toori still felt like he had shared something special with Jaxon last night. It was rare that Toori felt at ease so close to someone, and he hadn't forgotten how well he had slept with Jax curled around him. For some reason, he wanted Jax to remember that too.

[Jenny]

Jaxon chuckled as Toori accused him of being the motherly one, throwing a playful smirk over his shoulder before coming closer to refill his cup of coffee. He noted that it was distinctly easier to speak to Toori when he didn't have the other's attention. With Toori's gaze on him and not the food he was cooking, Jaxon felt like squirming. "I think I lost that title when we realized I can't cook," he remarked, looking down at his coffee and smiling lightly at the memory of their cooking incident the previous day. He raised his mug to his lips, taking another sip or two before putting it down and leaning on the table sleepily, resting his head in his hands.

"Sorry, mom," Jaxon corrected at Toori's threat, laughing as he waved the spatula menacingly. He rested his face in his palms and closed his eyes tiredly before rubbing his face. He still had a slight headache from last night, and he was hardly a morning person. It took him hours to feel 'awake', though the caffeine was helping.

"You didn't throw up or anything, right?" he asked, gazing up at Toori again as he began to wonder how the other felt. "You look like you feel fine, actually. And even though you passed my question last night, I'm pretty sure you had fun too. See? My making you drink wasn't the end of the world after all," he teased.

[chelle]

Toori tensed up a little as Jaxon brought up last night; he couldn't help it, thinking about how maybe Jax didn't remember it, but those words meant Jaxon did remember it. At least part of it. Toori forced himself to relax and pretended he just had his attention focused on the pancakes.

"I'm fine, no sickness," he said, and then shrugged, "Maybe I had fun, but it wasn't because of the alcohol. I didn't even drink that much." He paused, and then glanced over his shoulder at Jax, "How do you feel?" Jaxon looked all right, if not a little tired, and Toori wondered if Jaxon had had that much to drink. He couldn't remember, exactly, but Jax couldn't have had that much to drink. Maybe he did remember the whole thing. Toori couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing, couldn't decide if he wanted to bring it up or not.

[Jenny]

Jaxon nodded as Toori started to agree, telling him that he felt fine and that he hadn't drank too much. It was probably better that way, Jaxon thought. After all, his goal hadn't been to get Toori completely trashed and have him wake up at four in the afternoon with a lampshade on his head. And even if Toori thought the alcohol made no difference, Jaxon knew better. Sometimes having a few drinks was good just to loosen up, and it made things that would otherwise be boring more interesting or at least funnier... Last night had definitely been interesting, he'd admit. And surprisingly Toori didn't seem too wigged about it-- the conversation was all in all completely normal.

"I'm fine, just tired," he replied, finishing off his mug before refilling it. Peering at Toori over his mug as he drank the coffee, he wondered if it was worth discussing last night anymore. Probably not, he decided. "Anything you had in mind to do today?" Jaxon asked.

[chelle]

Toori came close to visibly relaxing when Jaxon changed the subject, talking about plans for the day. If Jaxon remembered what had happened, he didn't seem worried about it nor did he want to talk about it, which meant Toori was probably just over thinking it. After all, Jaxon was the one who got drunk all the time, Toori would easily concede that Jax was far more versed in drunken etiquette than Toori was. Maybe that was something Jax had done with his gang friends, getting drunk and sleeping together, maybe it was something Toori would never understand.

"Um," Toori said, taking a large plate out of a cupboard and beginning to place the finished pancakes, "No fixed plans, no. Unless there's something you wanted to do...?" He trailed off, placing a plate stacked with pancakes in front of Jax and then moving around the kitchen to get the butter, syrup, even some fresh fruit he'd bought that store yesterday.

[Jenny]

Jaxon hid an amused smirk behind his hand as Toori carefully placed the pancakes on a plate and gathered all the condiments, even putting out fresh fruit. It was endearing, how Toori was so focused and thorough about serving breakfast. And it looked good, smelled good. Jaxon hadn't noticed how hungry he was until the stack of pancakes were in front of him. All but drooling, Jaxon realized he was hardly listening to Toori as the other sat at the table, giving him that expectant look. "You're spoiling me," he laughed as he poured syrup over the pancakes and took a bite. Typical space pirate etiquette-- Jaxon didn't finish chewing before he was poring over Toori's cooking skills. "They're so good," he said through the mouthful of pancakes.

He washed it all down with another long drink of coffee before speaking again. "I could show you the guns I brought, if you're interested. Oh, and I wanted to see what Tynova's got to offer in terms of weapons these days. It's been awhile since I've added to the collection, maybe I could pick something up."

[chelle]

Toori blushed a little and smiled when Jaxon complimented him, putting syrup and fruit on his own pancakes before digging in more politely than Jax had. He listened to Jaxon's suggestion, frowning a little as he considered it. He waited to swallow before responding.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," he said, but pinned Jax with a glare, "As long as they're not loaded," he warned, because he wouldn't put it past Jaxon to hand an engineer with no combat experience a loaded weapon.

"I know the guys at the weapons dealer down by the shipyard," he added offhandedly, turning his attention back to his plate, "We do repairs for them sometimes. I could probably get you a discount."

Mr. Bensis usually handled the weapon repairs, and Toori wasn't resentful about that, because honestly he was a bit nervous around weapons. But Toori, being the junior member of staff, was always the one hauling the weapons to and from the weapons dealer, and as such had developed something of a rapport with the staff. He was almost positive the offered discount had been a joke-- Toori's nervousness around guns evidently showed on his face--but he didn't think it would be unreasonable to ask for a favor.