Ships > Sassy Juice

The Fugly Juice [Rhi!]

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Blue:
Have you ever had an experience where, upon beholding something completely beyond your scope of understanding, you can do naught but stare as words to describe it have completely eluded you?
Yes, well, he was having one of those moments right now.
Because of this…thing in front of him.

Let’s rewind a little shall we? Bjarte had been stuck on the space station Cancer for months now, perfecting his medical skills so that a day like today could finally happen. Though he had a dabbling of experience in many things, the sciences were definitely his forte thanks to an extended stint with Thanatos Inc. On the Cancer, he had turned that knowledge of humanoid biology toward the medical field, in the hopes it would help him get hired onto one of the many ships that came and went. Of course, he had no license of any kind for this sort of work, but opening up a ‘back room’ style clinic had done it’s job, and he’d gotten the experience needed to feel comfortable around most injuries and species.
Now he just had to find a ship willing to take on a medic with no formal knowledge - surprisingly easy to do, it turned out.

He’d gone through a few contacts who were supposedly able to find people passage on ships of all kinds for all reasons, but until now he’d had difficulty finding a crew that had a medic opening. There were plenty of ships with less than legal crews coming and going, but Bjarte just never hit them at a time when they were in need of his services.
Today it would seem his luck had changed - some ship called the ‘Sassy Juice’ seemed to be in need of his skills, according to his contact. He’d been led into the docks and to the ship, but was currently too busy staring at it in some mix of mute horror and confused amusement to even think about introducing himself to the captain.

What the hell was this thing? It was like someone had puked rainbows all over it. It seemed as though an attempt at design had been made, but his eyes refused to see it amid all the colors running naked across the hull.
“That is one ugly goddamn ship.”

Rhi-Rhi:
"Ya wanna rewind and try that again, Shorty?"

Stepping past the alien, Ari paused before him with one hand on his hip and his colorful head tilted down so he could look at Shorty there. In his other hand was a clear plastic bag filled with water--and several small, colorful fish, all neon blues and purples and pinks with elaborate fins for their small size.

It had been a fruitful day; he'd run all his usual errands, checked up on all his usual contacts, hit his usual bar, and bought a few new, obscenely expensive fish he didn't really need, but which he'd really wanted after a couple of shots. At least he was functionally buzzed; he'd had sense enough to inquire about their care requirements and compatibility with his other fish. Take that, Ben! He was responsible!

And now some Shorty was dissing his baby.

"Baby here's a work of contemporary art, man. But eh, we can't all be connoisseurs, I guess. It's okay, baby," he said, looking over to his ship and shaking his head. "Shorty's just ignorant."

Blue:
Now, Bjarte had some damn fine hearing. His deer-shaped ears swiveled around easily to catch just about everything - that being said, he was in the middle of a dock full of the sounds of people and mechanics. So somehow, a large man with a rainbow splooge on his head managed to sneak right up behind him.
Luckily, he didn’t jump - though his loosely curled tail DID snap into a tight circle as a show of his surprise.
Hopefully the giant human would be too dumb to have noticed.

As what would turn out to be the captain of the ship spoke, Bjarte simply stared at him blankly with unusual feline like eyes. He wasn’t all that bothered by being called ‘shorty’ - it wasn’t his fault he was stuck in solar system full of obscenely sized humanoids. Honestly, no wonder the one called ‘Earth’ was a mess - how could any ecosystem handle such behemoths.
After the man was done reassuring his…ship…there was an extended period of silence as the short alien continued to stare at the human.

“…I’m sorry, did you say something? I was distracted by your hair. It’s like an entity of it’s own up there - loud and obnoxious, not unlike most humans. I mean, when you chose to color your hair a lovely shade of rainbow puke, you must have expected it would trump everything you say.”
Amusingly enough, all of this was spoken entirely deadpan, and not once did his face show a flicker of emotion. It made it all but impossible to say if he was joking or just being flat out rude, and that was something Ari was going to have to get used to it if he hired this particular medic.
Then, completely out of nowhere (and still deadpan).
“Nice fish.”

Rhi-Rhi:
Ari's eyebrow rose as he stared down at the alien. The alien with the horns and the ears and the tail and the gray skin and who, until he'd actually spoken, Ari had had pegged for a woman. Or maybe she was a deep-voiced women. It gave him a moment's pause but then he filed that away into the folder of "whatever!", since he never could be bothered by sex or gender or even race, and focused right back on the irony of that statement.

He was the distracting one here?

He decided to take it as a compliment. He wasn't going to lie--the tattoos and piercings and hair dye did have the added bonus of grabbing peoples' attention and making him stand out and he would have been kind of bummed if it didn't.

Reaching up, Ari grinned and fluffed his hair. "Thanks! Ain't many rainbows in space so I thought I'd bring some with me, y'know?" he said, and he could have been referring to anything then--his hair, his tattoos, or the fish. "Now, ya gonna keep starin' or ya gonna make a move? Just sayin', 'cause last time someone looked all intense like that, we hooked up."

Blue:
Again there was a long pause, Bjarte just blinking at the large rainbow head a few times. He’d just been propositioned for sex…and they’ve only been talking for a minute at best. Not only that, but he had that sneaking suspicion that this bizarre human was part of the Fugly Juice crew.
Wonderful. Just what he wanted to deal with while trapped in a small metal object out in space.

“I suppose you find yourself pretty attractive, to make a comment like that. I’m just distracted by your screaming hair. Nothing else about you is particularly amusing.”
His tail uncurled and curled, slowly and repeatedly, behind him as he spoke. His ears flipped forward, and then he sighed heavily.
“I suppose you’re a crew member on board this eyesore. I need to speak to the captain, as I hear this ship has need of a medic.”

If this was the forerunner to what he was going to have to deal with, he was going to be in for a long and rough few years.

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