You could go blind doing that... (Rina, now open)

[Anonymous]

Liv folded himself into the depths of his chair, cushions creaking.  He brought one knee up, and strung his arm around it.  His neglected coffee, on the table, breathed wan streamers of steam.  Yeah, well.  

"Yeah, I guess I'm just that kinda guy," he said.  "I thought I wouldn't turn out this way, but Argan just pissed me off, right?  The kid is a sociopath.  I shouldn't have done it, but I had an excuse, and it felt good."  He swallowed and tasted the raw bloody edge of leftover anger.  And realized, belatedly, that he was blushing. Heat collected in the wells below his eyes and spread outward into a headache.  Fucker.  Fuck.

"So y'see," he said, at length, letting go his knee and sliding back in his seat, "just your run-of-the-mill sadism.  It won't happen again, 'til it's fun."

[Anonymous]

"Hmmm." Bart took another sip of coffee. He listened while Liv spoke, witing until he thought the kid was finished. Then took his time thinking over what he wanted to say, savoring the warm drink.

He rubbing his hand over his lightly stubbled chin, "Well, that's not real good. Though, considering your mentor, I can't say I am real shocked ya did that. He was a dick." Bart tended to get along with most people, but he had never liked Hasdrubal much. The man had been a sadist and a traitor. And it looked like he had a rather negative effect on his candidate.

"Bit disappointing. Ya seemed stronger then that. But, well, suppose that is why I never really approved of that method of training." He then shrugged, "But, to each his own I suppose." He gave Liv another easy smile, "I ain't really in a position to throw stones, so I wont."

"Now, you wanna stop poutin' about it? Or do you wanna keep mopin' around with that pathetic look on yer face? If you are as fine with breakin' that kids face as ya say you are, what's the problem?"

[Anonymous]

Ouch.  Ouch.

Liv wriggled upright and crossed his arms over his chest, incensed at the accusation of moping.  He didn't mope.  Well, if he did mope, he moped prettily, at least.  Apart from the blush.  That didn't go well with the hair.

"I seemed strong?" he said, leaning in, one elbow on the table.  He twined one lock of hair around his finger and blinked avidly at the other Pilot.  Sure, it was unsettling that he'd bring up Hazzie, not like you never worry about that, do ya, but why worry... "Do go on.  No really.  Because I do feel bad, I don't want to become my mentor.  Become you, maybe?  Or just..."

Other puns involving the second half of 'become.'  And so on.  Liv looked down into his coffee and cleared his throat, aware he'd rapidly changed the tenor of the moment.  Gotten his feet back under his--chair, anyway.  And Falstaff nowhere to be seen or sounded.  Thank the fucking Gods.  He'd be fine.

"... right."

[Anonymous]

"Seemed so. Guess that wasn't true." Bart shrugged, leaning back in the soft chair, "Ya had a real shit candidacy and ya came out of it pretty well. Bit disappointing that yer beatin' kids brains into mush with a door. Though, if any of 'um deserve it, it's that one."

The comment on wanting to be like him got a deep chuckle from Bart, "Kid, that's a real sad attempt at flirting. If ya want to change the subject, just say so. Lord, gonna have to do better then that. Ya ain't that pretty."

[Anonymous]

Not that pretty?  First mopey, now unpretty?  It was as though Bart could read his mind or something.

Ha, ha.  No, Liv's shields were too good.  However, he assumed, the visual and gestural cues he'd given obviously... and then, of course, the beauty itself... radiant as--something, anyway.  A grapefruit?  Why the grapefruit fixation?  But it was such a pithy day.

In any case, Bart had begun to weigh in on the Good Side, and it was almost as troubling as the other side.  He appeared straightforward, if not honest, and, better yet, he'd managed to tolerate Sulo of all kinds, which spoke well for his moral fiber and fiber in general.  Even if he had appalling taste in clothes.  

"I would like to change the subject, thanks," he said, reaching for his cup of coffee.  His palms felt unusually hot; had all day, but he'd gone without too many accidental flare-ups.  He exacerbated the sensation against the heat in his cup.  Ah, thermodynamical equilibrium.  And people wondered why Liv liked to carry a cup of coffee.  See, at least Hazzie always thought I was pretty.  Not changing the subject properly!  "So how ought I to flirt?  And how am I not pretty?"

Single eyebrow raise.  Really.  

Liv felt much better.

[Anonymous]

Bart found Liv rather interesting and he seemed nice enough. Just had all those layers of issues that Pilots tended to pick up. Some just hid it better then others, but not a one of them was normal or really all that healthy. And so Liv didn't really bother him.

Honestly, not a lot was going to bother him. He just laughed at Liv's subject change, "I ain't sure if ya can flirt better. Hate to tell ya, but yer really not my type." Bart didn't really have a type. He liked people quite a bit, but it was rare to meet anyone that he was actually interested in sexually. And while he liked Liv, Liv was not one of those people.

"And nice to see a healthy sense of modesty." Bart drained the last of his coffee, setting the cup down, no hurry to leave yet though, "And maybe if ya weren't so pasty and scrawny ya might have a shot at bein' a looker." He was just teasing now, his expression amused.

[Anonymous]

"And if you weren't so scruffy, maybe you'd have a shot," Liv said, sniffing.  "Do you cut your hair with your teeth, Hamilton?"

Liv tipped his head back with some effort of will, watching the older Pilot.  He wasn't sure quite what to think of him, so he thought nothing, only drew unseen patterns on the table beside his cup of coffee.  The knuckles on his right hand stung a little (had been too long since he'd punched someone, really).  

Since he'd gone out for coffee, too.  What did one say in such situations?  Encomium was always a no.  Insults worked, but only to a point.  His mind felt buzzingly static, blank and distorted.  It would come back, but he didn't really want it to.  Should be nice and make friends.  Yeah, right, with a Pilot Royal.

"Well, fuck, what should I do, buy the kid some fucking flowers?"

[Anonymous]

"Naw, I have some scissors I keep around that work just fine." Bart ran a hand through his hair, brushing it back from his face. He probably needed to trim it again. It was getting long again.

He gave a short laugh and a shrug, "Why would you send the kid flowers? From all accounts, the kid was a little shit. Sure, ya went a bit overboard, but I wouldn't send him flowers or anything like that."

Giving another shrug, Bart just set his feet up on the table. Damn but it felt nice to take a break, "Just relax. Drink yer coffee. Talk if ya want to, don't if ya don't. We all fuck up and lose our tempers sometimes. You just gotta work on yours. Make sure ya don't end up a twisted fuck like yer mentor was."

He watched Liv, watched him trace the patterns on the table, "I don't think ya have to be like him. Could be wrong. And, well, ya suppose ya wouldn't be the first or the last to be a sadistic fuck. Just try and not take it out on the candidates."

[Anonymous]

"Listen," Liv said, suddenly, starting upright.  He pushed his coffee cup to one side with the back of his hand and drew a wide, invisible circle with the other.  He measured it with the span of one outspread palm and fingers, then shifted the cup of coffee back into its center and turned the cup carefully.  The liquid appeared to swirl backwards.  He covered the cup with his palm.

"It's always a cup.  You know?  Whatever's in it.  I imagine cups must feel very good about themselves--this one is nice--"  He examined it.  Pink flowers climbed the sides.  Seriously, everywhere he went...  "--feel very good, you know, because they're always cups, even when used as doorstops, or missiles, or hats, or... you know.  Whatever's inside, whatever you use it for... still a cup."

Pause.

"Actually, it has a crack."  He traced it.  "At what point, you've got to ask, is it still a cup?  In recognizable shards, without its function?  We'd say so, because we judge on appearance, once function's, so to speak, cracked.  Happily--"  A self-conscious flutter of his hands.  He knew what he sounded like.  "--human beings have something cups don't.  Impulse, will, and sensation.  Sorry."  He took a careful sip of his coffee, one finger held to the chink in its side.  "Anyway, objects don't feel pain.  Or, you know, impulse.  Rational order is--everything has that on its own.  But pain, pleasure?  Sadism is extremely life-affirming, actually."  Liv ended on a chipper note, elbows set on the table with a flourish and a thump.

"Individualistic and all that stuff.  Anyway, he wasn't all bad, and I don't blame him for my conscience.  It's all me, okay?  That's it."

[Anonymous]

As Liv went on about the cup, Bart listened with polite interest if little comprehensions. He mostly got what Liv was trying to say, but quite a bit went over his head.

"....right." Bart scratched his chin, not really sure what to say to that, "Well kid, not sure I'm following all of this cup stuff. But sounds like a lot of tryin' to justify why it's just fine to be sadistic." Bart shrugged, "Do what ya wanna do." Didn't much matter to him really. It would be disappointing if Liv was going to be another bastard, but Bart wasn't worried Liv would try it on him. He could break the kid like a twig if he needed too.

Another shrug and a laugh, "Take whatever blame you want kid. Don't matter to me none. I don't know the kid much. Or you really. Though ya ain't so bad, other then those violent tendencies. Sides, I like anyone who can ruffle Marshal." Bart had no real problems with Marshal, but he didn't like how he threw his power and rank around. And acted like such a smug jerk most of the time. So it amused Bart to see some fuck up Pilot mess with Marshal.

[Anonymous]

Don't know me, but I'm not so bad?  Stunning reasoning, Pilot.  Liv forbore, because it wasn't nice to be nasty.  Anyway, he'd been so good about not calling people stupid to their faces lately.  Well, apart from Lockwood.  But Lockwood really ought to be told.  It was a public service.  Other than that, he'd been a paragon of self-control, and, anyway--well--anyone on the outside could call him stupid, sure, but...

... well, if not stupid, then 'merely clever.'  Which was worse.  Merely clever and merely a jerk.  

"Ha, Marshal."  Liv's smile came out a little vicious.  "Not actually hard to ruffle.  I didn't know you went in for that sort of thing, Hamilton, cheers."  He raised his cup for a clink.  "No, seriously.  I'm impressed."

He just couldn't shut it off.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[Anonymous]

Bart gave a short laugh, holding up his empty cup to Liv's, clinking them lightly, "Go in for what? Pissing Marshal off? I think everyone does." Bart shrugged, "Guy brings it on himself."

He fell silent again. Not really sure what to say. He wasn't all that used to people like Liv. So he just let him lead the conversation. He could get more of the nasty barbs from his system if he wanted. Or not. Bart really didn't care.

"So, I gotta ask. Did you really fuck Sabela?" Bart would have figured Liv hadn't stood a chance with the bitchy pilot, "And, well, then I gotta ask, why? The few times I've interacted with her, she was pretty nasty." And Bart didn't approve of the fact that she only did the bare minimum work.

[Anonymous]

Liv found himself smiling before he could stop himself.  He set his coffee cup down carefully and covered his mouth with one hand.  

"Let me ask you a question, Bart," he said, kicking at him under the table.  "Have you seen Sabela?"  He raised both eyebrows to express the enormity of his oversight, and added a mental picture for good measure.  Liv was a visual thinker: while telepathic communication didn't come easily, he found it somewhat less taxing to interpose images.  He lingered on his reconstruction, leaning happily on one elbow, then shook himself out of his trance.  "--seriously, 'nasty' is just about the last thing you'd... in short, yes."

He dropped his eyes.  "Speaking of which" mumble mumble "I'm not so proud of that one, either.  Long story.  You're really getting a poor picture of me today."

[Anonymous]

Looks like the kid was in for some hurt. Never seemed to go well in the long run for the shallow types. Ended up unhappy. Well, everyone tended to end up unhappy as a Pilot, but they tended to get it worse. He shook his head at Liv's picture, grinning, "I seen her. Too scrawny. Ain't got any meat on her bones. And no tits. Probably had to look around with a microscope before ya could find 'um."

The only thing Bart had know about Liv and Sabela was that they had slept together. Maybe something had happened, though Bart figured it was that Sabela had done something to him, rather then Liv to her. So he dropped it and shrugged again, "Well, even if I am, don't matter much. Either ya wont ever talk to me again, so who cares what I think of ya. Or next time we get to chattin' ya can show me your better side."

[Anonymous]

Liv could call Sabela skinny (and admittedly she was), but it was an entirely different story when someone else did it.  Besides, he felt in no small part as though he were defending his own honor.  Both as one of Sabela's paramours (or something) and as, well, a scrawny little fucker.  

To put it in Sabela's loving terms.  

"What she's missing up front she makes up for," Liv sniffed, pantomiming ass-grabbing on the air.  That had been fun.  Too bad he'd fucked it up as usual.  In retrospect, it hadn't been precisely sensitive to mention that, while she'd said stop, she hadn't said no.  "--behind.  Speaking of better sides."  It unsettled him a little that Bart would imply Liv cared what he thought.  Liv didn't care what anyone thought, once he'd finished talking to or thinking about them.

...right.  Well.  Change of subject.  His brain had well and truly disengaged now, though he avoided the bloody handprint on front of Bart's shirt.  He stirred the tepid remainder of his coffee and tried not to think, full stop.

"-So who've you got your eye on, or are you all work?"

[Anonymous]

The hand motion got a laugh from Bart, "She got a good ass then? Well, I guess that is good at least. Give ya something to grab onto." Still wasn't really Bart's type. But he let it go, as it seemed to ruffles Liv's feathers a bit.

"I don't really have my eye on anyone really. Work too much. And Pilots are all so messed up." And Bart wasn't really that interested in sex to be honest. He had it on occasion, but there wasn't much time for it, "Besides, my awful hair just scares the ladies away."

[Anonymous]

"Non-Pilots?"  

Liv settled back in his seat, slouching, and folded his hands over his stomach.  His elbows bristled out against the seat cushions, and he let himself slide further down, then threw back his head and shut his eyes, relaxing.  For now he'd try to talk himself human again.  It was working.  

"I dunno about that, though, never have... you know, because you've always got that temptation to look inside their heads.  I don't do that anymore, though.  Cheating.  But they know you could, so the trust's--"  He made a lazy gesture with one hand, flinging his fingers wide.  "Oh well."

[Anonymous]

Bart nodded, "And ya pick up stuff without meanin' too a lot. Or they think ya have." He shrugged, "'sides, they can't understand what it's like. To be psychic or have to have been through that program. It changes and shapes who and what ya are in a way most normal people can never understand."

He watched Liv settle back and he shifted his weight, getting settled. He was feeling tired. Hadn't gotten much sleep recently. Not that he ever did. And he could feel the work piling up even more. But this was still a nice break, "And more importantly, when would I meet one. Besides, can't be too many blind girls around for me to try and seduce."

[Anonymous]

"Ha ha ha," Liv said, eyes still shut.  He hadn't expected Bart to make a joke.  Good on him, he could make jokes, he was practically human.  Oh, great.  Maybe eventually he'd get back to thinking others were people, too.  Right now it had become difficult.  Sometimes it did.  

Violence ain't the answer.

What's the question?

No, seriously.  Liv cracked open an eyelid and squinted out at Bart.  He had to feel awkward, this was clearly the most awkward cup of coffee in the history of cups, coffee, and awkwardness.  He didn't have to deal with some Pilot with control issues, didn't even know him, and the small talk had... well, it was okay.  

"Hey, man."  He leaned forward, one palm on the table.  "I don't want to overstep anything here, but I'd kind of like to spend the day at home, you think that's all right?"  Pilots Cardinal got to do what they liked on days off, but he might as well be careful, especially right now.  "I mean, you've been great and all."

[Anonymous]

"Yeah. Sure. Go for it." Bart had no problem with it. Liv was enough calmer now Bart was pretty sure he didn't have to worry about him flipping out and beating anyone's head in, "I'm gonna take a wild guess the home ya mentioned ain't the one ya have back at the Citadel."

He should be getting back soon anyway. Maybe get another cup to go, savor it a bit while he worked, "Try and feel better kid."