A note and case were left on the counter for Eit.
Big Blue Bastard,
The last few days have been weird.
Although weird really doesn’t even begin to cover it – it is probably closer to absolutely fucking insane.
I went to the hospital prepared to die, and nobody really questioned that self-assessment. I was in pain, had wasted away to a shadow of my former self. When I fell asleep I had been so sure that I’d never wake up again. At least my last sight would have been you hovering by my bedside. I just wish you hadn’t looked so devastated.
Obviously death didn’t happened.
It really, really didn’t happened.
In a very big, weird way.
Who goes to sleep about to die and wakes up a vampire? I sure as hell hadn’t expected that to happen, and I still don’t know why it did. The one guy, the doctor dude, had tried to talk to me after I had calmed down and gotten control of myself, but I hadn’t been keen to listen to a lecture when I didn’t know where you were or how you were doing.
You know what else I really wasn’t expecting? For you to up and maul me with your mouth when you woke up from the sedatives they gave you. That was maybe even weirder and more confusing than the vampire thing.
I wonder what that says about me?
When we met years ago I liked you almost immediately. A dark sense of humor and into weird things – what wasn’t to like? We both liked annoying each other, and until I got sick we always got along pretty great. Sure there were spats, insults, and ribbing, but that was just us.
Getting sick changed things; it made things strained, stressful, and serious.
Neither of us has really been ourselves, and now I feel tangled up in knots almost as bad as when I was dying. I can recall the moment that you woke up and practically attacked me with startling clarity. I can still sense my heart skipping, still feel your lips on mine, the warmth of your body as we were pressed together. I can still taste you for fuck’s sake.
Of course we broke down into fighting almost immediately after that. We always end up bickering. Half the time I truly don’t understand how or why, it just always seems to happen. I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
You kissed me, but was it just a reaction to the situation? Because you thought I had died? Was it just a moment of bad judgement?
I know you have a resonance, which I know is sort of like a soulmate, and that just makes everything way more complicated. I know there is an amazingly high chance that the kiss meant absolutely nothing. What are the odds that out of all the people in the infinite universe that I was meant for someone like you?
I honestly don’t deserve you.
Of course that doesn’t stop me from wanting you. After watching my mother die I had convinced myself that I didn’t need or want anybody ever. Love is fickle and cruel, often causing immeasurable pain and I hadn’t thought the benefits could outweigh that. I loved my parents, and they both died, leaving me alone and with enough emotional pain to last a lifetime.
I really hadn’t counted on you though. I hadn’t taken into account that you couldn’t just choose not to love and care for someone else. It snuck up on me. I hadn’t even realized it was happening. One moment my super confidence that love was for suckers was there and the next I was looking at you and realizing that I didn’t know what I would do without you. I cared more about you than I did me. I wasn’t as afraid of dying as I was of leaving you behind. I didn’t want to cause you that kind of pain.
I don’t know much about love, but I do know that I don’t want to ever leave you. I would never claim to be an expert on the subject, but if that isn’t love than I really don’t know what love is. If it isn’t, then is it at least good enough?
Your stupid dipshit,
Deacon
P.S. Yes it is real and it is mine.
There was a simple black jewelry case sitting on the counter beneath the note that held a necklace that was a vial on a chain. A crimson liquid, presumably blood, was in the vial.
