Of Robots and Insanity(Open)

[Anonymous]

“I have been keeping my ports clean,� Lana replied. She hadn’t used them in a while, but she maintained them just in case she came upon a machine that could use them, or a scientist that would know how to use them.

She stared in shock at the kit her mother had brought out. Why in the world did she still have it? Suddenly she got the idea that her mother had developed another robot to replace her. Maybe she had even made many robots, each better and stronger than Lana could ever be. Lana had none of the robotic attributes that one normally found.

Of course, she still didn’t share any of this with her mother. She simply sat there and waited for her to complete her system’s check. Who knows, she might just decide to shut her down completely. Lana pushed this new thought and the fear that came with it away, but she couldn’t help but wonder if that’s exactly what was going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Utari ran through her checks. There was no data in the system checker other than Lana's own. It had not even been plugged into anything else. "Well, you're still mostly functioning, though you have some...rather odd damage." Utari was almost afraid to ask. "Would you rather not talk about it?" They hadn't seen each other in so long, it wasn't fair to imediately attempt to pry all of her past out of her on their first day together. She set the hand held monitor aside so she could actually examine the physical being of her daughter herself.

"Do I scare you?" She asked after a moment, her hand lightly running over the lid of the tool kit. SHe'd hoped every day that her daughter would return.

[Anonymous]

Lana couldn’t hold her emotions in any longer. Tears started to flow down her face, and she found herself unable to keep from sobbing. She looked up at Utari, a deep sadness and fear in her eyes.

“I don’t want to be afraid, but I can’t help it,� Lana said, staring down at the floor, ashamed of the fact that she was afraid of her own mother. There was no turning back now. She would have to tell her story. No, she wanted to tell her story. She was tired of having it stuck inside her, a secret pain that only she knew of. She needed to get it out, and maybe she would even have to courage to ask her mother the questions that had been burning inside of her for so long.

“I need to tell you what happened. You’ll understand more after you’ve heard…� At least she hoped she’d understand more after she heard. She wasn’t really sure how Utari would respond.

Ooc:
I’ll put her story in the next post…

[Anonymous]

Utari sat on the edge of the chair, ignoring the electonic beeping of the monitor as it ran it's diagnosis, but she knew she had some work ahead of her. "I'm ready to listen whenever you're ready to talk. I'm not mad that you're afraid...I just hope you'll realize you don't need to be afraid of me. I'm still your mom just like I always was and I still love you as much as I always did and no matter what happens, I will still love you" She replied softly.

She wasn't sure what to make of the entire situation, but no matter what happened, she was still glad to have her daughter back in her sight, but she was a little anxious to know what had happened to her daughter, but she thought it was important to know so she could help her. She wanted to help and was willing to give up anything she had to in order to do it.

[Anonymous]

Lana took a deep breath into her robotic lungs and began her story.

“It all started twelve years ago.  It was around five o clock in the evening,
and I was out in the front yard, reading a book on robotics. I remember that you gave me the book because I was interested in how I was made, and why I seemed to grow and age like a human. You were gone for day, at some sort of robotics convention.

Well, as I was reading, five strange men came into the yard. I knew something was wrong, because they didn't look like any type of people you would know. Each one of them pulled some sort of strange gun from their waists, and started to walk towards me.

They stunned me and took me onto some sort of helicopter, where I was knocked out with an emp pulse. I woke up in a lab cage, dressed in weird clothing. The same men came in, and dragged me out of the cage, to run
experiments.�

 â€œThey attached some sort of device to my nerve endings…I had never felt pain like that before…â€? Lana paused for a bit, before forcing herself to continue.

“I begged them to stop, but they never did. For five years, they poke and prodded me, with as many experiments as they would find. It was almost as if they enjoyed seeing just how painful they could make things for me…

The only life I knew was one in a cage by then. Happiness and freedom were but a memory. Then one day, a stranger came into the lab, and opened my cage. He gave me my stun wand and told me to use it, just before he rushed from the room, through a door I had never seen before. I finally worked up the courage to leave, and found myself on some strange land I had never seen before.

I had no idea where you were, and so I wander around, giving my name as Lana, in case my real name caused someone to find me and take me back. I somehow found myself on a space ship, and lived by draining peoples electronics.

I drained the electronics of a bounty hunter, and I guess he took pity on me. He tried to teach me how to be a bounty hunter, but I just wasn’t that good at it. I wandered from place to place, and helped people get find their lowlife relatives who owed them money. Most times, I didn’t find them at all.

I finally made my way onto a shuttle to Libra, and all that’s happened after that has already been spoken of…�
Lana sighed and looked up at Utari. She had to ask, or the questions would burn a hole in her soul.

“Mom, do you really love me? I’m just a worthless imitation of life…The scientists used to call me that. They said that there was no way you could ever really love a pile of scrap who couldn’t even defend herself.

I waited for you, but you never came. I used to dream that you had come, and we were together, but I would wake up to the cruel reality that you weren’t there. The scientists told me that you had forgotten about me, and had simply made new and better robots to replace the mistake I was…Is this true? Would it have been better if we had never met again?�

Lana’s words had not bitterness, but were spoken with sincere honesty. Her eyes were now filled with tears, and fear of what her mother would answer.

[Anonymous]

Utari listened intently, her eyes wide with emotion and flaring with anger that those jerks would touch her little girl. She wanted to go beat them to a pulp, make them pay.

She surprised herself as a sob rose up in her chest and burst forth before she could stop it. "I made you with my own two hands, you are my baby, my only baby. I could never replace you, I never even wanted to try." She said, tears streaming down her face. "I looked for you for years. There's a pulse that goes out weekly, looking for news of you. I couldn't physically comb the galaxies for you, so I did it electronically, but...that seemed to fail me until you practically dropped into my lap." She popped out of her seat to fling her arms around Lana again. "Oh my baby. I'm sorry I ever left you alone!" She sobbed. "I'm so glad you're back. I'll have you fixed back in perfect working order again inside the week. You let me know anything you need and I'll make sure you have it." She swiped at her eyes and flung her arms around Lana again "Can you ever forgive me?" There was a lot of guilt behind her daughter's disappearance. If she had not gone to the robotics conference, she never would have had the chance to be abducted.

[Anonymous]

Lana cried with relief as her mother spoke those words. She placed her arms around Utari and even more tears fell from her eyes. These were tears of joy, and tears of sorrow. She cried for all the things she had lost, and all the things she had just regained.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long,� she said. “Through all the pain, and times spent alone, I always dreamed that you were out there, looking for me. I’m so sorry that I ever doubted you. And it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I wasn’t strong enough to fight them. I should have done something, but I just sat there and let them experiment on me until someone was kind enough to let me go…�

Lana blamed almost everything that had happened on herself. If only she had tried to stop them from taking her, if only she had run faster, then none of this would have ever happened.

[Anonymous]

"You were a little girl. What do little girls know about fighting off a bunch of people coming to take them away?" She pointed out. "Will you stay with me tonight?" She wasn't sure she could stand letting Lana out of her sight so soon. She wouldn't sleep. She'd be popping over to make sure she was there and still fine every couple minutes.

She drew a deep, slow breath, forcing herself to calm down. "I'm sorry, it's just....so much at once. I need you to tell me what you need. Let me know when you're ready to start repairs on your systems. You've been through a lot....I'm sorry if I'm going too fast. I almost feel afraid if I stop talking and holding onto you, you'll disapear." She cupped Lana's face in her hands. "But you're really here!"

[Anonymous]

“I feel the same way about you,� Lana said. “It’s like this is all a dream, and I’m bound to wake up at any moment…� For the first time in quite a while, Lana actually felt truly happy. She was no longer alone, no longer doom to run from place to place, always afraid that she would end up back in the lab.

“I’ll stay here tonight,� she added. In truth, she was also afraid that if she was alone, then this would somehow end up being a really elaborate dream. She wanted to do all she could to remind herself that this was actually real.

“I don’t really need anything. I just want to get used to this station, and all it’s rules. I especially want to learn how to stay away from those guards.� She really didn’t trust the guards of the station, especially after what had happened.

Of course, she had every reason to worry. Mike Holloway was currently planning on watching her and Utari, and using whatever means and tricks he could come up with to find out just who she was.

[Anonymous]

"Okay, just so long as you're sure" Utari breathed, hugging her again for what must have been the millionth time.

"Oh rules? Well, they don't really like weapons here...I mean we are a refugee station, we get all sorts, so keeping weapons to a minimum prevents most serious injuries when fights break out. Um, stay out of restricted areas, they're pretty well labeled and they all need a security pass of some kind." She pondered "Pretty much behave yourself. Don't get into fights if you can avoid it, follow instructions. Currently you're under my care for..how do they phrase it..psychological evaluation I believe. Pretty much, you're not a true threat, you just need a little help--- which was the case when you arrived. You didn't want to hurt anyone...you just didn't want them to hurt you."

There was probably a huge list of rules and codes somewhere that only the most tyrannical station leader would try to put into force, but so far, people went about their daily lives and as long as they weren't hurting anyone or inciting panic or destruction, they were left alone.

"Probably just stick with me. I'm responsible for you anyway, so it makes it easier if everything is together and I don't have to hear that some harebrained accident or fluke is being blamed on my patient-- I think a certain someone is annoyed that I keep him from harassing prisoners, so he takes it out on me by trying to slander the prisoner I endorsed." She shrugged "Just a theory of course. For all I know, it could have been the most logical explanation of how things happened."

She paused "Oh, as far as staying away from them, stay away from places where alarms are going off, they tend to be concentrated at the docking bay-- where you came in. Refugees come through there in groups of hundreds. Lots of opportunity for trouble and were most of their prisoners come from. They don't get to come into the labs much....and we don't do experiments like what happened....so don't be worried if there are people in lab coats. We do a lot of research here and I'm still doing my bioengineering, so I work in the lab as well. The people there are good people, they want to find ways to improve and help others most of them." SHe tilted her head just a little. "What name are you going by now?"

[Anonymous]

“There are labs here?� Lana couldn’t help the terror that started to seep into her voice. The labs on Libra may have been harmless, but that was inconsequential. She wrung her hands nervously, and looked around the room, trying to regain her composure.

“I really don’t do too well around labs or scientists. It would be best if I stayed out of those areas as well…� Which would probably be a good idea, seeing as how she wasn’t quite the most mentally stable person on the station, and another incident like the one with the guards would not look good, especially with Holloway watching her so closely.

“I really don’t do that well with people either,� she added. She spent most of her time avoiding people. Even when she did any bounty hunting jobs, it was all through electronic communications, where she would call in the location of the person to whatever family member was looking for them. She was painfully shy and neurotically paranoid with everyone she met. The way she was acting with Utari was nothing compared to how nuts she normally was.

“As for my name, I’ve been using Lana. I chose it so that those scientists wouldn’t track me down…� She looked up at her mother once again. “If it’s ok with you, I’d like you to call me Abarri. It’s nice to have someone who calls me by my real name…�

She gave a small, embarrassed smile. “There’s one more thing. I have terrible nightmares…If you want to get any sleep at all, you should probably wear some type of earplugs…�

[Anonymous]

Utari nodded "Well, we'll see if we can work on those things a little bit. You recall I'm a scientist and I work in those labs, but I understand how you'd like to avoid them. That's fine. People as well. You can stay in here if you like, and I'll bring your meals" She offered. It was perhaps a detrimental approach, not forcing Abarri to face her fears and instead, coddling her, but she had just gotten her daughter back, she didn't want to lose her again.

"You know if you have nightmares, you're always welcome to wake me up or crawl in with me." She smiled, though it was a little watery. "I missed you so much...and now I have a hard time remembering you're not a little girl anymore....but you'll always be my little girl." She assured. The behavioral scientist part of her wanted desperately to study her and her nightmares, but the mother wanted to soothe them all away.

[Anonymous]

“Thank you,� Lana said to Utrari. Like any person with mental issues, she was perfectly happy to avoid them as long as she could. She would happily stay in the quarters, away from any and all stimulus that caused her grief. That is pretty much how she had been spending her life. She scurried around like a little rat, hiding in corners, occasionally coming out to attempt to find some drunk in a bar.

“I usually don’t wake from my nightmares,� she said. Since she could not see herself asleep, she really didn’t know how bad her nightmare were. They were as close to night terrors as an adult could have, minus the seizure activity in the brain. They were more like a delusional episode that happened to take place when she was asleep.
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Mike Holloway sat at his desk, trying to figure out just what was so special about this one nut. He knew that Utari was interested in the loonies of the world, but this was somehow different. This wasn’t just some normal head case, and he was determined to find out why.

He would forgo his usually tactics of instigating incidents, or fabricating them altogether. This was an even better chance. If Utrari was hiding something about this girl, then he could us it against her. It would be nice to have something to hold over her head for a change.

[Anonymous]

Utari nodded, gently combing her fingers through her daugher's hair. "I'll start repairs whenever you're ready." She wasn't worried about nightmares or being kept awake at night. She was a mother. Her daughter was her first priority, sleep was inconsequential. "Do you intend to stay on Lybia? Or is this just a stop off?" She wanted to know if her daughter intended to leave her or not. She had just gotten her back after all.

"Are you tired?" She asked. Perhaps the nurturing side of her was in overdrive, but it had been deprived of a focus point for years. Abarri was created because she hadn't been able to have children and had no interest in men or having a baby created in a bottle somewhere with some custom mix of DNA. She'd instead been made with her very own hands. No one could ever replace Abarri.

[Anonymous]

“I came to Libra to settle down,� Lana told her mother. “I heard that it was a safe place, and I thought it would be nice to actually stay somewhere without having to worry about being found and taken back.� Lana could have resented her mother’s overdone nurturing, but the truth was, she had been deprived also. She had spent the last twelve years of her life a mentally unstable outcast, with no one around who even cared if she lived or died. Maybe someday she would move on, but it wouldn’t be anytime soon.

“Actually, I am a little tired. I haven’t really slept, save for a small nap on the shuttle…�

Suddenly, the door to Utari’s room opened up, and Mike Holloway walked inside. He was holding a form in his hands.

“I’m sorry to barge in on you,� he said in a silkily cold voice, “but I really need you to sign off on this form…� Of course, he could have gotten any number of other scientists to sign the form, since it was nothing of importance. He was just trying to get to her, and maybe pry some information out of her while he was at it.

He noticed Lana sitting there, and his eyes went wide. This was not what he expected at all. His face grew into a smirk, as his Neanderthal brain tried to process the situation.

“So, this is why you were so interested in this worthless nut,� he said, as he leaned against the doorway. “You’re a dyke, and she’s some sort of high class prostitute! You must have recognized her from some dirty transmission ad. Well, I can’t say I’m shocked…�

He looked over at Lana, his smirk growing even broader. “Hey babe, how much do you charge? I might want a little action of my own…I may not like thugs, but I would never turn down the opportunity to grab such a nice piece of ass.�

ooc:
Man, Mike is really turning out to be a creep…

[Anonymous]

Utari stood and stepped forward. "These are my personal quarters and you have no right to enter them without an invitation and you have less right to comment on me or my personal matters." She looked him straight in the face. "And I was not aware you searched through the transmissions for prostitutes. Certainly gives me a picture of what you do on your free time-- unless that's the reason that riot last month escaped your notice. Now, take yourself, your form and your disgusting subject matter right out the door and do not come here again. I'm off duty as you well know. You can find someone else to sign your form, or you can wait until I'm on duty tomorrow and have me sign it then." She was cold and obviously not intimidated. There was nothing wrong with her having found her daughter.

[Anonymous]

“Fine,� Mike said, the smirk still etched on his face. “I’ll leave you alone for now. But I am going to find out what’s going on, and just what you are hiding. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s something that you probably don’t want the higher ups to know about. Just sleep on that, hon. I’ll see ya tomorrow.�

Mike turned on his heels and left the room. He was going to scour all the transmissions for any sort of info he could find. Even if she wasn’t a prostitute, there must be something he could find. He walked back to his quarters, and dropped the form on the bed, before heading back to his computer terminal.

Lana stood up and walked over to Utari. “What if he finds out what I am? Will I end up in one of the labs here?� She still didn’t trust that the labs on Libra were as nice as her mother thought they were. She had too many bad experiences to think that the scientists wouldn’t be interested in studying a robot with a self aware mind.

Even if the scientists didn’t do anything, she didn’t trust Mike Holloway one bit. He seemed to be the kind of person who would eat his own grandmother if he could get something out of it. Her mother had spoken of “someone� who framed her patients, and she had a very good feeling about to whom she was referring to.

[Anonymous]

Utari raised her eyebrow at Mike as he left. That goofy man needed some help.

She turned to Abarri "No sweetheart. I'm one of the senior members of staff. They're not going to put my daughter in a lab-- besides, we don't do that kind of work here. They might want to talk to you a little, but they won't touch you. I wont' let them." She locked the outer door, though she doubted it would do any good considering guards had far too much power to unlock anything and everything in her opinion.

Coming to sit beside her daughter, she put her arm around her shoulders. "Not all scientists are like those ones who hurt you. Some of them are just curious and want to learn to make things better." She sighed softly and gave her a squeeze.

[Anonymous]

“I hope you’re right,� Lana said softly. She still couldn’t seem to believe that the scientists here were as benevolent as her mother claimed. The only scientist she trusted was Utari.

“I think I should try and get some sleep. Is there a bed or couch or some place I could lay down?� She was really starting to feel the effects of the day. Her body was barely hanging on, and her mind and eyes were already drooping down into the depths of dreamland.
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Mike sat at his computer, and continued to comb through the transmissions. He would not rest until he found something that would tell him what he wanted to know.

“Aha!� Mike had finally hit pay dirt. Staring right in front of him was Utari’s weekly message, inquiring about Lana’s whereabouts. He poured over the transmission, his eyes gleaming with glee.

“Robot,� he muttered to himself, as he read even closer. “She’s a robot? This is getting interesting…� Of course, it never occurred to Mike that Lana might have been Utari’s daughter. No, he thought that everyone was just as devious as him. His first thought was that Utari had built a high tech machine, and did not want to share it with the rest of the scientist onboard.

[Anonymous]

"Of course" Utari said, ushering Abarri to her comfy bed. It was not a particularly large bed since Utari lived alone and space on the shuttle was somewhat limited, but it was as comfortable as science could make it. "You just get some rest. I'll be around if you need me. Help yourself to anything in the fridge if you get hungry." She fussed over the pillows a moment, instinctually needing to tuck her daughter in. After twelve years, the instinct was still as alive as ever. "Oh, do you want your bear?" She had a box of Abarri's favorite stuffed animals and toys under her bed. She'd never been able to give up the hope that she would find her daughter, and so had not been able to bring herself to leave all of her daughters things behind. Infact, she still had a couple of her favorite outfits tucked somewhere, though they would do little good now.