To Pilot Cardinal Sashi Enu,
I am writing to you regarding our earlier discussion. I trust you will recall which one I am referring to given the nature of that conversation. At the time I was unable to properly respond to you and after a great deal of reflection I have some points I would like to discuss further with you.
First and foremost, you were and are completely right. As a doctor it is my duty to do no harm. I have dedicated nearly two decades of my life to serving the Pilots and people of Aedolis as both soldier and physician. My accomplishments though mean nothing in the face of my own bitter, cruelty of my fellow man. I thought the war had taught me better, that that hate I had seeded within my heart had died long ago. I was wrong.
I do not seek to defend myself to you. There is no excuse for my behavior. I can only say that I am human and that I am flawed. Even the strongest soldier falters and the best doctor makes mistakes. I am neither of these things and yet have done so much worse over the years. I still have much to learn it seems as well.
Secondly, while I have apologized to Pilot Nebula and we seem to have moved passed my moment of lapse in judgement, I also owe you an apology. As you have said, I have disappointed you. I was not the role model I should have been and I was not the hero you looked up to. I failed you and every young girl like you, and for that I am deeply sorry. I know I can never take that moment back.
Perhaps it will please you to know of my deep regret over knowing that. I am ashamed of my actions and the hurt they caused. It is not like me to voice such things aloud and I do not believe I ever would have if I had been in complete control of my faculties. Again, that is no excuse for my actions and I do take full responsibility for them.
Lastly, please understand I am not writing to you begging for forgiveness. I am owed none. I have lost your respect and have disappointed you, things that cut me far more deeply than I think you could ever understand. Maybe one day far from now I will be able to earn that back. Until then I shall work to make myself a better person for others and for myself.
You are a very talented and giving person, Pilot Enu. Your friends and patients are very blessed to have you in their lives. You should be proud to know that you have far surpassed me and become a truly wonderful woman to look up to.
Thank you for your compelling words. You can expect no further action on my part after this message. I see no reason to involve others as this was, while incredibly important and necessary, a very private matter.
Pilot Moon
