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Author Topic: To Captain Ari, from [name withheld]  (Read 773 times)

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Offline GIR

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To Captain Ari, from [name withheld]
« on: May 09, 2013, 06:52:29 pm »
Hello, Captain Ari Maxwell!

Do you sigh in disappointment when you remove your pants? Is your cannon more like a derringer? Do women laugh when you drop your shorts?

If the answer to any of these is yes, don't despair! Simply reply with your contact information, mother's maiden name, bank account number and routing number, and we'll send you a free 30 day supply of our groundbreaking male enhancement product! Try Hickory Dickory Doc for just 30 days, and you'll see a huge improvement in the length, girth, and hardness of your lance! Wow the ladies with your new equipment today!

Disclaimer: a shipping charge of 100000 credits will be applied to your bank account upon accepting this offer. Subsequent payments of 5000 credits will be automatically applied every 30 days after the initial free period unless you go through a long, tedious process of cancelling the offer, one which has been specifically designed to frustrate you so much as to enslave you to our product by making you not want to cancel. Results have been greatly exaggerated, and, honestly, you'd have to be an idiot to accept. This disclaimer is legally required to be placed in this message, but we are taking full advantage of the fact that no one ever said anything about it having to be readable, so there!
Please do not steal the waffle-flavor waffles or the bacon soap. Also, you gonna make buscuits?

-------------------------------------------------------

Imperial Knight Eva von Draconis
Pirate Captain Drake Morgan
Imperial Knight-Commander Heavy Wilhelm von Tartarus
Mechanic Sarah
Multi-Role AI Trotzige Schwert vonPunane Tolm [WIP]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They've got waffle in 'em!
I'm gonna sing the doom song!
Yes. Wait a minute... No.
It's got chicken legs!
I had a coupon!
But I neeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes...
best Tsundere ever

Offline Rhi-Rhi

Re: To Captain Ari, from [name withheld]
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2013, 06:56:07 pm »
Remove me from your mailing list.

-Ari Maxwell
OPEN THREADS! JOIN FOR ADVENTUROUS FUN TIMES!
Plots for an Edani mage? 8D

AWESOME SHIP OF PIRATEY GOODNESS
The Sassy Juice wants YOU on its crew!

Ari // Arrow // Asher // Bailey // Cecil //  Cyrus // Dakota // Esha // Francis // Gabriel // Jake // Jericho // Jewel // Keziah // Kyran // Lexi // Malriiko // Nuri // Poe // Rachel // Shiloh // Sitara // Val // Yazuri

Offline GIR

  • RotE Cultist
  • Posts: 440
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  • The Cookie of Destiny
  • Awards Awarded for participating in the Shiny New Libra event of 2014! You've been with RotE for one year! Go you!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
  • Gender: Nongendered. '...' will serve until the English language comes up with a proper genderless pronoun.
Re: To Captain Ari, from [name withheld]
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2013, 07:02:04 pm »
You have been removed from our mailing list.

Disclaimer: You actually haven't. We're just saying that to make you feel like you've accomplished something. We'll be contacting you again a week from now, and may even send multiple messages, because we all know you'll eventually accept just to shut us up!
Please do not steal the waffle-flavor waffles or the bacon soap. Also, you gonna make buscuits?

-------------------------------------------------------

Imperial Knight Eva von Draconis
Pirate Captain Drake Morgan
Imperial Knight-Commander Heavy Wilhelm von Tartarus
Mechanic Sarah
Multi-Role AI Trotzige Schwert vonPunane Tolm [WIP]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They've got waffle in 'em!
I'm gonna sing the doom song!
Yes. Wait a minute... No.
It's got chicken legs!
I had a coupon!
But I neeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes...
best Tsundere ever

 

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