This was her moment!
Idina stood on the stage in the auditorium singing full blast. She wasn't bad at singing, but she'd figure out later where her true talents were hiding was in the music. What she lacked in talent she made up for in passion. She had been in the drama club for all her years in high school and this was the senior year, her last shining moments! Plus she had to ensure her excuse for staying even later every day after school. As long as she had some sort of excuse her parents just left her alone.
She didn't quite fit in at home like she wanted to. There was no real abuse in any physical way, it all lay in neglect and silence. She had two sisters and neither of them paid attention to her. They were completely different people than she was. Idina was her mother's daughter, but not her Dad's. She stuck out like a soar thumb whenever they went out. She had gotten most of his looks. His odd two toned eyes, but most of all her red hair. Everyone else in her family was blond.
Every time her Dad looked at her there was this strange thing about his expressions. If she didn't have siblings to compare it with she may never have noticed. Whenever he smiled at them his whole face lit up, whenever he looked at her, if he ever did smile it never reached his eyes. They had a cold sadness the whole time he looked at her. She wanted to scream it wasn't her fault, she hadn't asked to be a bastard, but it was written all over her. They had never taken her out with them at first, they'd dump her with her uncle who was really her only saving grace. He understood what she was going through. At least she had him.
She stepped down off the stage trading glances with some of her friends who had been watching. They nodded and gave her the thumbs up she grinned in return. Drama had been one of her many outlets and it was probably her favorite. It took up the most time, and more importantly it was such an escape. She could be anyone else for several hours with ease. Slip into a role pretend that her life was different. Even if it had problems it could be better. It could be...whole. She could know her father and have brothers who would play games with her instead of snooty sisters.
Everyone at school accepted her, they didn't see what her family saw. They didn't see her as a living, breathing mark of shame on the Pascal name. They saw her as Idina, sort of bad clothes but good personality and sweet Idina. They weren't scared to be seen with her because it might reveal something about a mistake they made. Every class to Idina was like a different flavor of freedom. Except this moment was over. She went through her options as she gathered up her things.
Drama director was busy, all her other drama companions were on their way home in cars. Her English teacher was already he gone. As soon as he got done with his things he zoomed out of the building. Everything thing she worked at was at cross purposes to everyone around her it felt like. There was no escaping it, she had to go home. Sometimes she tried to play a comic book like scenario. Like she was a sort of anti-hero no one would expect to come through in the end. She had this sort of secret love of comic books. Another thing no one in her family understood.
She walked home in the dark, the only light being the moon. She wondered what the days were like that her history teacher talked about when things were actually alive. The planets seemed to be the only sign left. It looked huge hanging in the sky, obviously full. She knew that way up there was the bubble. The thing she would spend all of her life in. She wondered what real air tasted like. It was an eerie sort of night. She just realized how late she had managed to stay out.
If the twenty two year old Idina had seen this one she may have cried at her outfit. Idina tended to dress in grays and whites, things that would hide her from being the main focus. She never wanted to attract attention something that her parents had taught her from a very young age. Never to be the center of a room. Always be at the back of a room, keep yourself covered. At the moment she was wearing a long gray skirt that went down to about mid calf, then a long sleeve baggy white t-shirt. It was doing the best it could to cover up the assets that were developing on her.
She started walking slower kicking rocks, putting off the inevitable. Eventually she was just kicking air, trying to feel busy and think of places she might be able to go. Perhaps she could just go home steal one of her Mom's sleeping pills and crash, not have to deal with her family tonight at all. That would be one of the luckiest things to happen in a long time. It was more likely they'd fake interest in what she had to say. That was one of the most painful things that she could imagine.
