To Dr Gwen V. Tombs, From the EBIA

[Anonymous]

Dear Doctor Tombs,

On behalf of Nacrus Servilius Quaestorian, Consul of Edanith we would like to arrange a meeting to discuss matters of state at your earliest convenience.

Bureau of interplanetary affairs.

[Anonymous]

Dear Bureau of Interplanetary Affairs,

I am greatly interested to hear what it is that Consular Nacrus wishes to speak to me about, I am actually quite surprised by Nacrus as of late. His dealings with Magical Folk, such as those of the Libra, and now myself have me concerned.

However.

We regret to inform Edanith that as a Space Station, we do not fall under "Interplanetary" affairs. If he would like to discuss matters of Interstellar Affairs, we request you fill out "Meeting Form A-5; Request to meet under a potentially hostile environment " in triplicate and have it sent to through our Dedicated Diplomatic Subspace Channel.

Dictated but not read;
Dr. Gwen V. Tombs

[Anonymous]

Dear Doctor Tombs,

The Consul would like us to convey his most sincere apologies that you seem so confused about the purpose of this Bureau. As an educated woman of some standing, you of course know that the EBIA handles all off world matters of state, and we can only assume your typist incorrectly transcribed your words. We suggest immediate termination of his/her employment, lest such embarrassing errors be mistaken for your own ignorance.

Furthermore, the Consul has informed us that we did not make his intentions of meeting you aboard TRIM clear, thus causing you to direct this office to "Meeting Form A-5; Request to meet under a potentially hostile environment". We apologise for our error, because of course we can only assume that should the Consul visit TRIM he would be in no danger, and therefore the suggestion that it would be a hostile environment might be construed as an indirect threat. Of course, we realise that your mistake is entirely our fault, and that you did not intend to indicate hostility that Edanith would be forced to respond to.

We hope that we may move on from these miscommunications and reach a mutually agreeable decision so that both parties may engage in talks that will benefit both Edanith and TRIM.

Bureau of interplanetary affairs.

[Anonymous]

Dear Bureau of Interplanetary Affairs,

While my typist was incorrect in transcribing my words, he will only be docked pay. Firing him for such an inconsistency over his longstanding record would be inconsiderate. I thank you for you pointing this out to him, and he assures me that he will strive to be better, as I expect all my staff to be.

As for "Meeting Form A-5" you are incorrect in your assumption. Meetings are never conducted upon TRIM, for security reasons. Therefore a new and hopefully neutral destination will be decided after Meeting Form A-5 will be submitted. Due to the fact that I know Consul Nacrus, who is of utmost importance to Edanith, will not be travelling without guards. As well, I will not go anywhere either without a compliment of guards. With two places such as TRIM and Edanith meeting, the environment will undoubtedly be hostile. After all, Edanith is known for enslaving mages, and I myself happen to be a mage. This form however is a simple Insurance policy, it allows potentials customers and any parties involved to know that there may be inherent dangers and risks on both sides.

So if Consul Nacrus would like to meet, I suggest that he better start filling out "Meeting Form A-5" as we do not allow Proxies to read and fill in the forms. Remind him that two witnesses of notable third(re:neutral) party; who are currently not receiving payroll from Edanith must be present to sign the Form as well.

We hope this does not inconvenience the Consul, but politics can be tiresome at times.

Dictated but not read;
Dr. Gwen V. Tombs

[Anonymous]

Dear Doctor Tombs,

We again apologize for our error, and understand if you do not wish for the Consul’s retinue to enter TRIM.

We would also like to assure you that during diplomatic proceedings you and your staff are under no threat of being assigned a Mordecai. The Mordecai program exists only to ensure a safe, mage free alternative lifestyle for the people of Edanith, and establish a stable environment for mages that may cause harm to themselves or others.

The correct forms have been forwarded to the Consuls office, and once suitable signatories can be located they will be sent.

Again, this office would like to stress that the republic of Edanith harbours no ill sentiment towards yourself or your organisation, and any security measures will be to protect the Consul from external attack.

Bureau of interplanetary affairs.

[Anonymous]

Dear Bureau of Interplanetary Affairs,

Consul Nacrus can tell me it's for external attacks till he's blue in the face but there are still suspicions of my safety while he and his retinue of Mordecai and Mages are around. Make sure he reads it all carefully, I'd hate for him to miss anything.

I look forward to having one of my people inform me that we have received the form in triplicate.

Dictated but not read;
Dr. Gwen V. Tombs

[Anonymous]

Dear Doctor Tombs,

We would just like to clarify that the assurances of your safety came from the EGIS, and not from Consul Nacrus.

Bureau of interplanetary affairs.

[Anonymous]

Dear Bureau of Interplanetary Affairs,

Really? So the clothing line from Earth is assuring me of my safety? I do hope the cargo pants and dungarees act as effective protection against weapon discharges. Heaven knows they can barely protect against grass stains.

Dr. Gwen V Tombs.
(I actually typed this one myself because I found it humorous.)