Remnants of the Earth

AEDOLIS => The Rest of Aedolis => Topic started by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 08:31:30 pm

Title: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 08:31:30 pm
Tucked in a corner, atop polished stone, three sticks of incense burned. The smoke coiled, slow and steady, buffeted only slightly by the continuous flow of cold air from the air conditioning vent set against the ceiling. The living room of the hotel suite was perfumed with the musky odor, as bits of ash fell from the burning sticks to land on the pristine white ash of the sand below. An added measure against any potential fires in case the occupants of the penthouse were otherwise distracted.

Outside, through the balcony window, the sun was just barely beginning to set. Through the dome glass, it seemed almost beautiful, tinged with the reds and pinks of the old world, a stark contrast against the storm colored waters and deep black sands of the in-dome beach. Ren had purposely requested a balcony with a view, and given his rank and his bank account, a view he had received.

As he poured two glasses of wine, he hoped that Pumpernickel wasn't too lonely without him. He rarely left his home these days for very long, ever since his reinstatement. Even the warmth of Ryun's tropical sun couldn't always reach the cold in his fingers and toes, and he felt uncontrollably tired on those days.

It had gotten better with time, of course, more than he'd expected, but still. Some days were easier than others. Ren lifted the pitch black stemless glass to his lips and drank - the wine was just like he liked it, deep red and rich. It was soothing, in its own way. A bit of comfort to start the weekend off right.

Ren glanced to the wall clock, a plain black circle with stark white markings - every bit as monochromatic as the rest of the penthouse - and wondered if it was out of nerves. It wasn't as if this was the first time, or even the second, or even the third. Still, his skin felt like there were ants underneath it, and so he took another swallow of wine.

Session 9, in T-minus five minutes.
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 09:06:19 pm
Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

Stiletto-heeled boots tapped rhythmically across the cold stone floors as the tall, formidable figure of The Queen strut sedately across the lobby and into the lift. She swiped her wrist over the sensor to unlock access to the penthouse floor before taking the time in the ride up to examine her reflection in the elevator mirror.

Kielen smoothed a hand over her left-side ribs, flinching only slightly at the memory of pain. Her wounds were healed and yet she still didn't feel comfortable enough yet to wear anything that showcased her toned and now scarred midriff. A shame really; she always did love showing off her hard-earned body. She gave her hair a final fluff as the bell dinged and the doors opened.

All her personal concerns melted away as she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin with a pleased smirk. A flick of her wrist and she was in, right on time to boot. Musk and smoke greeted her which she breathed in deeply.

"Hello my knave," she greeted affectionately. "Did I keep you waiting long?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 09:29:15 pm
Ren was right there in the foyer to greet her, both glasses in hand. He gave her a smile and held out the one he hadn't been sipping at.

"Good evening, my Queen. I've just finished getting everything ready."

It wasn't quite a lie. He had spent the past five minutes double checking that everything was in place, and then triple checking to boot. He hadn't even been on anything this evening, which might've accounted for the ants under his skin, but the slight mania had been helpful in remembering every last detail.

"I've ordered dinner to be brought up - steak in garlic compound butter and seasonal vegetables, with a double chocolate cake for dessert, of course."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 09:39:54 pm
She accepted the glass gratefully but leaned up to kiss his cheeks before taking indulging in the wine. "You take very good care of your Queen. I'm pleased, that all sounds sinfully delicious." Kielen giggled, her emerald eyes dancing with mischief. "Come keep me company? That view behind you begs to be honored don't you think?"

Her words were not a question but a command as she brushed past him, taking one of his hands in hers as she pulled him to follow her out to the railing. Heat and sea air assaulted her senses. "They keep you busy at work this week or did you get some time for rest and reflection?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 09:56:12 pm
Ren followed her out onto the balcony, taking a long, deep breath and letting the last of the day's heat sink into his skin. He sipped at his wine, but didn't release Kielen's hand as they stood at the railing.

"I've been busy… most days." He dipped his head, unable to keep the truth to himself. "I had a bad day on Thursday. Nothing too much to handle, I promise."

He looked at her, eye on hers as if to implore she believe him.

"Just tired. So when I wasn't working, I was just kind of… sleeping." He eyed her some more. "How're you feeling? Any better?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 10:04:42 pm
Kielen smoothed the pad of her thumb across the back of his hand, hoping to bring him comfort even as she shifted her weight to lean more into his side. She nodded lightly at his words, understanding the strength it took to admit the truth even to her.

"If it gets bad, you should call me. I'm not too busy finding myself to not have time for you. I'm glad you were able to handle though. Just remember you're not alone now though."

She sighed heavily, drinking deeply from her dark glass. "More nightmares, more calls I shouldn't but do accept from my ex." Kielen snorted wryly as she looked up at him, "your queen is a worse gluten for punishment than you. Still trust me?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 10:12:31 pm
"Of course I do." He gave her hand a little squeeze. "...It's never easy, letting go. Even if you know you really should. Some shit, though..."

Ren shot her a wry kind of smile.

"You and I are two peas in a pod."

He finished his wine and set the empty glass onto the balcony railing. Ren squeezed Kielen's hand again, this time in quiet askance.

"May I smoke?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 10:16:46 pm
She gave his hand a squeeze back before releasing him. "Go ahead, and thank you for asking." Kielen stretched her arms above her head before sliding out of her leather jacket, tossing it over a lounge chair before turning to face him, back and elbows resting on the rail and long legs crossed at the ankle.

She waited long enough for him to take several calming puffs before raising her chin. "So what happened Thursday?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 10:32:22 pm
The moment Kielen granted permission, Ren let go of her hand in favor of pulling out a worn carton of cigarettes from his pocket along with a lighter. He tapped out one, holding it between his lips while he shielded the lighter with his free hand. A few quick puffs, and he set both carton and lighter onto the railing as well.

Ren let out a long, deep, satisfied exhale, the blue-grey smoke escaping in a thick cloud before dissipating into the warm summer air. He looked down at the beach below, watching the artificial ebb and flow. The sound was soothing, like white noise against the backdrop of the day, calming his thoughts in conjunction with sweet, sweet nicotine.

"I couldn't get warm. Everything felt numb, I could barely type my reports. I could barely think. I must have taken twice the dose I usually do when I need a pick me up but nothing was getting through. I just felt useless."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 10:41:08 pm
Kielen watched him from her relaxed posture with eyes that failed to waver. She knew exactly how he felt. It was her every winter after all. Knowing days could be like this though never made enduring them any easier, just more self-aware.

"And now? Can you get warm? Are you feeling useless?" She raised a brow looking up at him pointedly expecting nothing short of the truth. "Are you sober?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 10:48:06 pm
"Buzzed," he admitted freely. "Not sober, but not wasted."

He took another deep drag, watching as the lit end burned bright with the pull, reducing a good portion to ash in the blink of an eye. He held the smoke in, flicking the end with his thumb to eject the ash, the bits flitting down to the floor and disappearing in the wind soon after.

He exhaled, the plume even bigger than before, his nerves sedated by the ritual.

"I'm warm. Today's a better day. Didn't even need my cane to get here."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 10:52:34 pm
More nods, more quiet consideration. After draining her glass and setting it aside, Kielen moved behind him, arms wrapping around him in a hug from behind, hands splayed over his chest and torso as her cheek pressed into his spine.

"I'm going to blame you failing to answer one of my questions on your being buzzed and not you intentionally attempting to avoid me Knave. While I am glad you feel better today, are you still feeling useless?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 14, 2021, 11:00:24 pm
The sensation always threw him for a loop. Even when he was sober, there was just something so jarring about another body pressed to his - not out of animal heat but out of a deep connection, the kind of contact that said 'I am here, we are here together'. It was the kind of feeling that sat, warm and firm, in his ribcage long after the moment ended. Foreign, but delicious.

He didn't dare move in case Kielen thought he was trying to shake her off. Even his breathing slowed to a trickle.

"I don't know what I'm doing with my life, my Queen," he admitted after a long moment. He took another drag, before snuffing out his cigarette on the railing, the filter crumbling under pressure. "Everything just kind of washes together."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 14, 2021, 11:10:27 pm
A soft sound escaped her almost like a wry and amused hum, but tired. "Do any of us, Ren? We're young. We've had our whole lives dictated to us, by our families, by our careers, by our commanding officers. I think it's easy to get lost in it, to feel like you're drowning. Things have just been especially unfair to you. You've lived many of my lifetimes and yet, you're my age? Maybe a little older, maybe a little younger."

She chuckled against his back, her breath warming the fabric by his shoulder with each puff of laughter. "I never was very good and doing that math. The point is, you're not alone. And we have time to figure it out. We have time to rebuild, to be happy, to define what that means for ourselves outside of all other forces. Not your Bibi telling you what to do, not your Squad Commander, not your dragon, not me. Just you. Seeing the things big or small that make you happy. Like your unwavering devotion to hot sauce on everything," Kielen teased while giving him a warm squeeze. "Or mine to the three C's of life. Me make our own paths. And....while we define them and we determine them, that doesn't mean we have to walk alone. I'm responsibility to you is to support you when you are low Ren. I can't do that if you don't let me."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 15, 2021, 08:29:02 am
Ren shrugged a bit, his usual habit against questions he didn't want to really answer. It wasn't just the notion that he was the only one who could figure his own life out (and that was very terrifying). It was even in the math - the exact science of knowing just how short human lives were and how little time there really was to hold onto... any of them. Jain would be approaching thirty, soon. Kielen was younger, sure, but not by much. In the blink of an eye, they'd go from a quarter of their life, to a half, to three-fourths, to the end. Jain. Kielen.

Cabe.

Ren bit the inside of his cheek to dismiss the thought, and quickly lit up another cigarette, breathing deep and transforming it to ash just in time to light up a third. A few puffs, and he felt the panic dissipate, and then finally dissolve. The sun was still warm. Kielen's presence against his back was still warm. He flexed his fingers and toes. He was okay.

"It just happens so quick," he said, quietly, before clearing his throat and remembering to speak with more conviction, "the bad moments, I mean. By the time I'm in them, all I'm doing is holding on, you know? And then by the time I have a grip, the moment's gone, and I feel like a heel bugging you about it when it's already done. ...Especially when you're apparently texting your guy, madam."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 15, 2021, 09:08:28 am
Kielen held him unwavering through the panic. She was no empath and had no way of feeling his exact emotions but she could guess. Reading people was her literal job after all. She could feel the way his hearts drummed harder beneath her fingertips, the way his breath quickened until the nicotine hit his system. He was anxious.

And then the moment passed and he was speaking again. Her lips pressed into a firm line of displeasure but she did well to hide that from him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade instead as if to pour her affection and strength into him. After a moment she squeezed him and stepped back, standing straight and with authority.

"Turn around and look at me."

She waited long enough for him to resettled before reaching up and taking his chin between her fingers. "What kind of domme would I be if I did not take care of my sub's aftercare? If you do not trust me, Ren we can find you someone better suited to your needs. But, until then you are mine. You wear my collar and one of my rules is that you contact me when you need me, is it not?"

Kielen paused, humming softly in thought as she allowed her fingers to trace down his throat to finger the small dangling spike charm that quietly claimed him as hers. "Perhaps we need to rework that rule. You don't seem to recognise when you need help, even after the fact. How do you feel about instead you call or text me after an episode, no matter how small it is or how late or early it is? You're a Pilot. You understand the importance of briefings and damage reports. So brief your Queen.

"And please, for the love of Gudja, save me from my own insanity. He's not my guy. And any excuse to escape my own weakness is a welcome one."

She sighed tiredly while offering him a soft smile while cupping his cheek. "I adore talking and working with you Ren. Don't deny me my knave....please?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 15, 2021, 12:08:14 pm
"I trust you," Ren blurted out in earnest. It was true, he really did. The very thought of losing this, this thing that he and Kielen had, the thought of losing his collar, all of that made him want to just run as fast as his legs would carry him - which was, in fact, very far and very fast indeed, even on his worst day. Too easily, the feeling of panic swelled back up again, and felt like it might float him away like the sea itself.

The touch to his collar brought him right back to the solidness of the moment, though, and the reassurance of her words. He took a deep breath, and let it out again. Another breath, and another exhale. Ren even managed to laugh at the little aside about Kielen's own relationship problems. It was small, and it was quiet, but it was a laugh nonetheless.

"Okay. Okay, I can do that."

His head perked up a bit at the sound of a knock - they were separated from the rest of the penthouse by sliding glass and the thrum of ocean waves, but he recognized it through all the noise.

"Dinner's here. I'm very curious about your insanity - talk more while we eat?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 15, 2021, 08:27:41 pm
Her hand slid down his cheek to pat gently at his chest in a soothing manner before stepping back to allow him to collect the food. "Oh, Ren," she breathed in dramatized exaggeration. "It never ends!"

Kielen laughed and followed him into the living area, choosing to pointedly ignore the dining area in favor of sprawling on the suede couch. "Pour us some more wine and come listen to the brownie batter mess I've made of things now. Perhaps you can help even."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 15, 2021, 09:04:01 pm
Ren's eyebrows went up in a perfectly knowing manner, though he dutifully went about setting both their plates on the coffee table before retrieving more wine, filling the glasses even more than he had before. He settled onto the couch, sharing the end with Kielen's legs and waiting for her to stretch them onto his lap before he reached for his wineglass and took a long drink.

"I'll help if I can, but remember I'm not exactly great at this. Listening, though, that I can do. Just tell me when to pepper in a 'the fucker!' and we'll be good."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 15, 2021, 09:20:33 pm
Kielen stretched out contently, accepting her glass eagerly before taking a few hearty sips. "The thing of it is we talk," a pause for another big sip, "daily. I know we shouldn't. I know it isn't healthy. HE knows we shouldn't. But ever since Aurora and the hospital...."

She waved her hand before continuing. "We were talking about chocolate this week." Kielen grinned wide, her eyes animated with mirth. "I found these specialty ones in provocative shapes-- Ooo we should send the tiniest size to your bibi. Anyway, off track. But I was talking with him and got an email that my order was being sent out and I commented on it so then he looked at the site and he was really excited and wanted to get some of the....other anatomy and...mmm."

Kielen sighed and rested her head back against the couch. "He's flirty and well I'm flirty too I guess. But, ugh if we're supposed to be moving on then we shouldn't talk all night, every night. But, he's so sweet, and he listens, and he's so good and SO WRONG. We've been down this road and...it did NOT end well. But, there's that but and stars do I keep trying to crawl right on back to the phone for one more call. In conclusion, your Queen is an idiot, Ren."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 15, 2021, 09:45:15 pm
As promised, Ren listened, tracing the claws of his free hand over her ankles in slow, soothing circles. It was a bit of physical touch that was every bit for him as it was for her - the repetitive motions gave him something to focus on, a task to complete that he couldn't possibly fuck up but gave a hell of a reward. It was something they'd both figured out a good while ago, but the fact remained Ren was starved for praise and validation. This was a very easy way to earn both.

He took another drink, hummed in thought, and drank again.

"...It's not stupid. I know for a fact you're not an idiot, and… life's so fucking weird. I can't shake my head too hard at wanting to call a guy who showed up in Aurora just to make sure you weren't dead. And, in addition, you're going on other dates, aren't you?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 15, 2021, 10:00:34 pm
She sighed deeply, drinking more wine as her eyes half closed in pleasure at his touch. "Feels good when you do that. And it's hard. It took things ending and him showing up still caring after everything and me almost dying to realise....that I've been down this path and going back is just toxic choices. And I wouldn't call it dating so much as, mmm what's the most impolite and graphic term I could use to describe it? Help me out what's a salacious way to say screwing men's brains out?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 06:30:51 am
"Fucking like wild rabbits," Ren offered helpfully. He sipped his wine again before setting the glass to the side. He considered for a long moment, and longer again still, before finally speaking again. "Do you think all the sweetness now is just an act?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 11:17:23 am
Tension flooded her body and Kielen froze at the notion. Thoughts flew through her head in a whirlwind of possibilities before settling on a simple, resounding no. She shook her head, placing down her glass as well and collecting their plates, handing one to him and resting the other in her lap.

“I mean it could be possible but I don’t think so. He was always sweet. He just….he plunged forward towards marriage faster than I was comfortable with keeping up. What broke us was pack of communication and trust from him. I lost who I was when I was with him. This whole moving domes and learning from others sabbatical is supposed to be about, yes getting the tools for the job for promotions and career tracks but….finding Kielen again. And yes I’m having sex again but it’s kinda lackluster honestly. It’s not like he’s even the best I’ve ever had but I’m bored. Does not bode well for our devotee of the Three C’s. I don’t know. Should be illegal to talk to someone for eight hours on the phone several times a week and texting on the nights when you don’t talk.”

There was a pause as she stabbed at her food for a moment, then humming in delight at the taste. “The thing of it is, I think he genuinely cares and would have me back. I’m just the harlot stringing him along I guess. The worst part is…it’s not even out of revenge. WHICH! I may add I’d be completely justified in. Bastard almost cost me my career and future! But, I’m not even wanting to string him along. I just really like talking with him. I really liked being with him. It was good but it wasn’t good for me. That’s really the crux of it isn’t it though? Self-destructive tendencies feel good. But they’re not good for us. And we’re not about that life anymore now are we?”

She nudged him gently with her leg and wiggled her brow at him with a grin.
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 12:04:05 pm
   Ren took his plate without a word, letting her continue to gather her thoughts as he cut his steak down to easy, shred-able bites. It was a good steak, and his teeth made short work of it, though he was still careful to shield his face from view while he chewed. Even someone as familiar with elfkind as Kielen was, Ren was hesitant to put her on edge.

   So he listened, and carefully ate, and peppered in a few quiet 'the fuckers' as necessary, especially about her ex's penchant for rushing things and almost getting the woman fired. Or worse. As she nudged him with her leg, however, he had to smile and give her ankle another gentle scratch.

   "No, we are not about that life, mistress." He took a few more bites of dinner and drank down the rest of his wineglass. "Do you think, maybe, eight hours several times a week might be something self-destructive? I mean... I'm not exactly a good example of anything, but do you think talking that much is making sex boring? Or affecting things otherwise?"

   He hummed a bit, head tilting back and forth as he continued to scratch her leg. "I mean... I trust your judgment, of course. I can see exactly why someone would want to put a ring on you," he patted her shin teasingly, "and if it were me, I'd be clinging to every last scrap of attention I could from..."

   Ren trailed off, and cleared his throat a bit.

   "But it's hard to focus, being in love. Even harder to focus if you have to keep telling yourself not to be, at the same time. I think maybe... you'll need to decide, one way or the other."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 01:26:59 pm
Kielen shrugged and chewed in thought. She had no issue with how he ate although she would not have minded if he had not been hiding his mouth. It brought him comfort so she let him have it. Some habits after all were just not worth breaking. "I can't exactly move on if I don't ever stop being stuck in the same place. And if I spend all my nights on the phone with him then what else can I do to spend my time, y'know? I mean sure my phone is silenced, I'm spending my evening to you. But I'm sure if we looked there'd be a few from him already patiently waiting for my return. Reminders that he's thinking of me and whatnot.

"But you are mistaken there. I'm not in love with him. I think it's more of a matter that he's....comfortable. I know what to expect with him and he feels safe even though he's the one that burned me so badly. I'm not the settling type. I am not going to be someone's pretty trophy wife, or wife in general I suppose. I'm too headstrong and independent for anyone to want to enjoy keeping distracted and in place.

"I mean sure I share the same cosmology as you in that we have resonances, we have another half of our soul that matches ours. And if the stars are right we'll find them in the same lifetime. But I don't think they were cruel enough to curse someone with being able to find me. It would be a lot better for them to not have to try and tie me down, because I won't go quietly into the night" she laughed good-naturedly.

"And you though? Have you decided?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 01:43:21 pm
"Well," Ren said slowly, leaning back into the couch and eyeing her some, "what would you prefer? To be comfortable, or to be you?"

He stretched out his legs, humming softly as his ankles popped. He considered her question for a long moment, watching the incense from across the room, listening to the gentle ticking of the clock.

"I've decided to be in love. Whatever that'll bring me, it doesn't matter."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 02:10:49 pm
A closed-lipped wide smile lit up her face at his words. "Then I am happy for you and I will be here with you every step of the way. Just so long as you remember to also love yourself. And to remember that you are a blessing to be loved by let alone to be allowed to love. My perfect treasure."

She nudged him again affectionately before shifting and grinning wider. "How go your match-making efforts between your Commander and your friend? Jane was it? Any progress updates?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 04:01:29 pm
"I said I decided to be in love, nothing more than that," he said quietly, back to scratching her leg. "I just mean that... if I'm going to live my life, I'd rather not shut myself away."

He eyed her, perhaps a little pointedly.

"...Jain, yeah," he said, acquiescing to the change of subject. "It goes... slow. Neither of them are much for running blind, and Jain, she... is a lot like me in a lot of ways. Unsure of our worth in a world that seems brighter than we are."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 04:16:22 pm
"That's what happens I'm afraid when city lights drown out true starlight. We fail to see our own glow among all the shit. And, on the original topic I know and it's why I approve. Whatever he does is what he does. What I care about is what you do. And if choosing not to love is what it takes for you to feel fulfillment and alright, then that is enough for me. If choosing to love and be at peace with whatever that means for you is enough then I am pleased also. I just want you to be alright at the end of the day, Ren. And whether you are or are not, I'll still be here to help. Making the decision though is the first step and a big one. I'm proud of you," she added with a pointed look of her own. "Really and truly."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 05:38:18 pm
"Thank you," Ren said, quietly. He looked over at her and gave a tired little smile. "Really and truly, thank you."

He leaned forward, nudging Kielen's legs so he could get to his feet and put his leftovers into the fridge. It was also an excuse to fetch more wine, which he poured with gusto for them both.

"And you? What do you think you'll choose?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 06:29:36 pm
With his absence Kielen took the time to curl up further on the couch. Her heels were kicked off in favor of tucking her legs beneath her and the moment that Ren returned, Kielen was curling in to press close to his side, her arm going around his waist as she sipped her wine in thought.

"I don't know," she finally replied, voice soft and a bit pained as if the answer scared her. "Me," she said with more conviction. "Whatever my choice will be, it will be for me."

Kielen shook her hair out, before giving him a slight pinch along the ribs. "What do you think? Can the Queen find better?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 07:06:12 pm
"Better than you?" Ren clicked his tongue. "Not likely. Better than him? Does that even matter?"

Ren shook his head some with a sigh. "It'll never be something you can sit and tally. It'll never be something that's such an easy choice. There's probably a thousand men as good or better, out there somewhere. But what is it you want? Is it something you'd even want to look for? You were happy before having a boyfriend, so why not that again?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 07:24:35 pm
She looked at him a bit startled by his answer before smiling and nodding. "My wise, Knave. I think the problem lies though in that before he was my boyfriend, the old me was very content to chase the next high and party until dawn. But, I am no longer that Kielen. I am, a bit lost. It's like opening a door and then pretending you never experienced or witnessed the contents inside. The harder you try to ignore and forget it, the more you think about it. I don't know if I can find what I had with him with someone else, or if I'm just afraid of being alone again. My brother is settling down, my friends have paired of, all of which I'm very happy for them over but also..."

Kielen shrugged and sipped her wine. "Chasing my next high is not enough and I don't know if I want to be there to find out what I have become when I've finally lost myself in it. And...I can't even blame that on him, anymore than you can blame your resonance for being who and what he is."

She laughed mirthlessly. "I told you things are a mess."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 16, 2021, 09:02:40 pm
   "Yeah, they're a mess," Ren agreed with a little shrug, drinking deeper from his glass and letting the wine sink into his bones, melting him further into the couch with every swallow. It made the topic easier to deal with - he didn't blame Kielen for lamenting, and he certainly sympathized with her, and sure, it gave him plenty of something besides his own fool self to focus on.

   ...Where was he even going with that train of thought?

   Right, Kielen. Kielen and her ex and the conundrum that was.

   "But it sounds to me... like you're tired of being numb."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 16, 2021, 09:49:28 pm
Kielen nodded against his shoulder, slumping into him some as if all the heavy thoughts were suddenly pressing down on her in a tangible manner. "...it's been so long since I've felt anything. With him I felt something. I won't say I felt alive but...warm. And now everything is just boring and muted. Sex is unappealing. Chocolate tastes bland. Coffee doesn't even warm me up inside. Wine doesn't give much of a buzz. Drugs do their thing but the crash is harder. Even the job has lost a lot of its thrill. The puzzles that made me so excited to dissect feel disinteresting. I know my worth. I know where I stand in the world. But heavy is the head that wears the crown? It's very lonely here up at the top. Don't say I recommend it."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 17, 2021, 07:57:34 am
   "Duly noted, I shall make every effort to not be a queen in heels." Ren nudged her teasingly, attempting a smile as if that would somehow cheer her up. Soon after though, he softened, and gave her another little nudge. "You also just got done with a near-death experience right on the heels of a catastrophic breakup that nearly meant the death of your career. Being a depressed mess, I think, in this case, is a midge understandable."

   He tilted his head a bit, and attempted to tease again. "But if you insist, I can eat the chocolate cake all by myself."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 17, 2021, 10:42:44 am
Her lips twitched in amusement even as she blinked and considered how he'd look in heels. "I mean you could. Just make sure you have good ankle support if you're following my nine inch example."

She sobered quickly though as everything was put into stark perspective. Kielen turned to him and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Thank you for returning the favor, Sweet Thang." She sat up fully on her knees so she towered over him and gave his hair a playful tug so his head tilted back to look up at her. "But don't for a second think I have fallen so low as to forsake my beloved first love, chocolate."

Kielen giggled, easing her grip on his mane to rub lightly along his scalp, soothing whatever ache she caused there in the process. "Shall I go get it, then? Or you still full from dinner?"
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: nephero on August 17, 2021, 10:59:05 am
"I think I'm tall enough, thank you." He grinned, even as his hair was tugged, and ducked his head slightly in deference to her. It was all in jest, of course - he knew he wasn't truly in trouble, and it never failed to strike him how refreshing that was. This wasn't like with his birthgiver, where there was no knowing if he was pleased or angry until it was already too late. Either way, it usually meant some string of insults and barbed words, so the difference never really mattered anyway.

Kielen, however, was different. He could push and if it was indeed too much, she just told him so. The first few times, of course, had led to a pretty bad meltdown on his part, but by now... by now, he didn't even get a twinge of panic. It was nice, not being terrified of interaction.

"I'm fairly full. To be honest, I had ordered it for you, so if you'd like it now, it's all yours." He shrugged a bit. "I can get it for you."
Title: Re: Session 9 [Goblin!]
Post by: GoblinFae on August 17, 2021, 12:01:26 pm
"Stay, it's alright. We can share it later if you're feeling up to it," she offered while pressing a staying hand to his chest to ensure he didn't try to get up on her. Kielen continued to kneel up over him, petting his hair with her other hand as she looked down at his face warmly. "Have I ever told you how much I adore your freckles? They're so pretty and sweet looking."
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